Had to send a client to Al-Anon today
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
Had to send a client to Al-Anon today
I'm amazed at how recovery literally touches all areas of my life!
This client is raising her 2 grandkids because their mom (her DD) is an active addict who has had multiple relapses & still has an ongoing enmeshment with her ex who is also a drug addict in addition to the alcohol. This woman is pretty well together, has enough to provide for the kids & is happy to do so out of love but is always concerned about what *might* happen if she passes away.
She has taken the time to do all of her estate planning, discussing with both of her own siblings about taking over for her in the case that it becomes necessary. Except now there has been a big drama with the daughter & the siblings are terrified to be put in the position of having to deal with her & her addiction. (I gather that she showed up drunk & belligerent to a family event) They are now refusing to accept the responsibility of handling the estate, trust & kids' future care because they are simply too afraid & feel like they are too advanced in their own age to deal with it.
She was BESIDE herself with grief & panic here in the office... torn between understanding their POV and sheer terror at how unprotected this leaves the kids, and how her out of control addict DD may somehow end up with the control over the money & property which should last long enough to put both kids through college & put sizeable down payments on their first homes. I was a bit worried that she'd work herself right into a heart attack then & there.
My boss lady was so visibly relieved that I was able to gently offer a printout of the local alanon & alateen groups & talk a bit about what they can help her with... it was obvious she has covered the legalities but ignored the emotional support she needs. When I interupted their meeting Boss was looking like a deer in headlights... no clue how to handle this woman, no understanding at ALL of the issues/fears. But I totally recognized all of it, was able to calm her down, put things into the context of what she could control & what her next steps are and then get her in with an amazing estate attorney right away that will help her understand & establish guardianship & trusts for the kids.
It felt so good to be able to help someone in that way in this environment. (and bonus! I really showed my value in ways that can't be measured but that my boss really appreciates... my job is to make our client's needs are taken care of & that isn't always a simple matter of signing forms...) You just never know how many people are struggling on all sides of addiction, do you?
This client is raising her 2 grandkids because their mom (her DD) is an active addict who has had multiple relapses & still has an ongoing enmeshment with her ex who is also a drug addict in addition to the alcohol. This woman is pretty well together, has enough to provide for the kids & is happy to do so out of love but is always concerned about what *might* happen if she passes away.
She has taken the time to do all of her estate planning, discussing with both of her own siblings about taking over for her in the case that it becomes necessary. Except now there has been a big drama with the daughter & the siblings are terrified to be put in the position of having to deal with her & her addiction. (I gather that she showed up drunk & belligerent to a family event) They are now refusing to accept the responsibility of handling the estate, trust & kids' future care because they are simply too afraid & feel like they are too advanced in their own age to deal with it.
She was BESIDE herself with grief & panic here in the office... torn between understanding their POV and sheer terror at how unprotected this leaves the kids, and how her out of control addict DD may somehow end up with the control over the money & property which should last long enough to put both kids through college & put sizeable down payments on their first homes. I was a bit worried that she'd work herself right into a heart attack then & there.
My boss lady was so visibly relieved that I was able to gently offer a printout of the local alanon & alateen groups & talk a bit about what they can help her with... it was obvious she has covered the legalities but ignored the emotional support she needs. When I interupted their meeting Boss was looking like a deer in headlights... no clue how to handle this woman, no understanding at ALL of the issues/fears. But I totally recognized all of it, was able to calm her down, put things into the context of what she could control & what her next steps are and then get her in with an amazing estate attorney right away that will help her understand & establish guardianship & trusts for the kids.
It felt so good to be able to help someone in that way in this environment. (and bonus! I really showed my value in ways that can't be measured but that my boss really appreciates... my job is to make our client's needs are taken care of & that isn't always a simple matter of signing forms...) You just never know how many people are struggling on all sides of addiction, do you?
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