Aarryckha

Looking back, I knew I had an issue with alcohol back in 2008. I was like everyone else; if I drank, it was occasionally on the weekends. It turned into a once in a while glass during the week which turned into a bottle a night a couple of times a week. After a while it was a bottle a night, sometimes two bottle a night, almost every night of the week. Fast forward. This escalated to where I landed at the end of February of 2014, at least a fifth of vodka almost every night.

I realized then it was a problem because I distinctly remember at some point in 2009 making a list of goals which included cutting out drinking during the week. I think no one really said anything at the time because, hey, it's only wine, right? My behavior wasn't erratic and I was very high functioning. If I only knew then what I know now.

I guess we are all on this journey for a reason, right?

Taking5

Looking back, I had an issue with alcohol in 1984. I didn't do anything about it until 8 years ago.

chaos34

I've been doing some journal reading myself lately. I've come across an entry from Jan '07 when I noticed I had a problem. I was 27. I wish I had listened to myself back then. Do you journal/diary write often?

Aarryckha

Actually, no. I've been meaning to start. I just find it hard to focus and collect my thoughts. The brain fog thing makes me feel stupid.

Lance40

Thanks for sharing. I relate to what you wrote.

least

It took me over a year to do anything about my drinking.

GreenEggsAndHam

My denial was off the charts.

For years and years I could not figure out what was wrong with me (acting out in ways alcoholics tend to do, apathetic, etc). I would google all kinds of personality disorders but never found one that fit me well. I was more willing to believe I had some mental disorder before I'd believe I had a problem with alcohol. Giving up drinking was just not on my radar.

Once I came out of my denial, I was so embarrassed.

Looking4Help123

Thanks for that Aary.

I guess we are all on this journey for a reason. Maybe we can all make our own in the end. Not sure what my reason is, other than having had enough of feeling like crap and messing up all the time.

Ill think about it in bed later...

FortWorthsober

I'm relieved to look in the mirror after a sober day and actually like what I see! Too many days of hating myself, wasted time!