therealthisguy

Thanks for taking the time to read my post.

I am a weekly binge drinker and have decided it is time to stop this nonsense. My problem is I get to drinking hard alcohol on the weekends to the point of black out. I wake up the next morning with little recollection of the last night's events and am embarrassed to even think about what happened.

This started once I turned 21 in college and has persisted on and off ever since. It's already basically ruined my first marriage. I am now in an amazing relationship and I don't want this one to end the same way. I get to drinking hard alcohol (vodka is my preference) and won't stop. My tolerance is pretty high and I won't stop. I've never been in trouble with the law or my career, but I know it is only a matter of time. I've came pretty close though.

I don't hardly drink during the week, usually a drink or two a few nights a week...especially if I'm bored. I'll start drinking liquor on Friday and Saturday evenings around 6pm and just keep drinking. I feel like hell the next morning and swear that I am going to stop but I don't. I'm over it. I have too much to lose by keeping up this lifestyle. I'm not in college anymore and I am killing myself by drinking this much.

It seems like I am always around alcohol on the weekends and this fuels my urge to drink. Nearly everyone I know drinks, but most do it in moderation. I just can't seem to do it in moderation. I haven't talked to anyone in person about how I feel...I'm too embarrassed and am afraid to be judged. I haven't read any books or attended any type of sobriety meetings (yet). I just need a place to vent and to talk to people who may be going through the same situation as me.

Thanks for reading.

least

Welcome to SR! There is a lot of support here but maybe some support in real life would be helpful also. Have you considered going to some AA meetings? There's a lot of support there.

And if you feel like drinking you can always come on here and talk yourself down off the ledge. We are here to help you get sober.

Betterlife1

Hi TRTG!! Besides the problem with the first marriage, your story is extremely similar to mine. Especially your drinking patterns. Welcome to SR and you'll find tons of support here. I found the book "The Easy Way to Quit Drinking" by Allen Carr very good and changed my perspective on drinking! Good luck!!

Aarryckha

Welcome!

You sound just like me. I'm glad you're here to get some help. There are tons of great people here.

keithurbanfan

Welcome to SR!

Hevyn

It's great to have you join us therealthisguy. You'll find the support & friendship you need here - we all understand.

therealthisguy

Thanks for the replies everyone! It is much appreciated. I'm looking forward to kicking this thing and moving on with a more productive and happy life.

Aarryckha

So how are you doing today? When did you last drink?

therealthisguy

Aarryckha, I'm doing fine today. I drank pretty heavily Saturday night, was hungover most of the day yesterday, and am fine today. Got a workout in with no issues today. The weird thing is though I don't usually feel an urge to drink during the week. I bounce back and forth between my girlfriend's house and my own. At my own house I have zero desire to drink. At her place sometimes I will want a few during the weeknights to get that buzz before bed. It's the weekend that kills me. Come Friday/Saturday night I'm ready to rage.

I'm pretty sure Saturday night was bad though because my g/f is being really stand offish. Didn't bring it up yesterday when we woke up, but I can tell by her mood that she isn't happy. She got really drunk too though. I just always take it one step further. We have been together for a little over 3 months now and I have done this a couple of other times. She's been drunk when I've came over there though too like after a promotion or bridal shower. No excuse for me to act the way I do though.

silentrun

Welcome. It is scary how fast I started with once a week binges and slowly started adding a day during the week. Good for you getting a handle on this now.

therealthisguy

Yeah I can feel it coming on during the week but keep pushing it back due to my job and not wanting to ruin it. I have had other jobs where I would drink quite a bit the night before but not enough to have it affect me the next day hangover wise. It's just too much now. I'm over it!

Aarryckha

Well, I'm glad you're not having withdrawal symptoms anyway. My detox felt like hell. So, if you don't drink during the week, come up with a plan now to stay away from it on the weekend.

therealthisguy

I am glad I do not get withdrawal symptoms either. I'm very lucky.

The latest update with my g/f is she finally told me she is upset with the way Saturday night went. I get embarrassed to talk to her about it but told her I was sorry. I feel discussing my feelings of wanting to quit and how embarrassed I am about it is hard. It makes me nervous to think about it. I really don't want to lose her because she is really amazing...but I have all of this weird nervous tension built up and the shame/embarrassment of my actions. I am sure that is not the most attractive thing in the world though. I have been given such an amazing opportunity in life and hope I won't blow things.

Aarryckha

You should talk to her about wanting to quit. Maybe she will want to also and you're giving her some motivation to do so.

therealthisguy

I am talking to her tomorrow. I will keep you posted on how it goes. Thanks again for all of the replies. They definitely help!!

Aarryckha

Good deal! Glad I could be of assistance.

UTVOLFAN

Just wanted to chime in and tell you congrats on making a great healthy decision. I've been sober since the Thursday before last, so less than two weeks. It isn't the easiest thing I've done, but I'm sure unit is one of the smartest most mature decisions I've made in my life.

I can relate because I had a habit of getting super wasted and being a hysterical disaster of a wife every so often... Always with an awkward few days to follow. I also think it is great that you identified that you always seem to take it one step further... Keep that at the front of your mind going forward, because it might save you when your AV (addicted voice) starts telling you it is no big deal to have just one.

You should go over to the 24 hour club feed on this site and sign your name agreeing to 24 hours of sobriety. I like taking it one day at a time... I'm a newbie too so I just thought I'd tell you what I've figured out so far

Hugs and prayers

therealthisguy

Thanks UTVOLFAN! I will go over to the 24 hour club and sign my name! I'm glad you can relate to the awkward couple of days afterwards too...I'm definitely feeling it right now. Congrats to you so far on your road to recovery and the hugs and prayers are sent back to you!!

Aarryckha

UTVOLFAN, I can totally relate to the awkwardness also. I would have to try to test the waters of the people around me to see if I had done something stupid (which I almost always did) after I had blacked out. It sucks! I'm never going back to that.

Dee74

Welcome therealthisguy

There's a good few days before the weekend - what about figuring out some things to do that won't involve alcohol?

Make a plan