Attempting moderation has failed again what to do??
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 113
Attempting moderation has failed again what to do??
Hello everyone I was on this website a few months ago and posted my interest in quitting for good, which i did for a bit. As time went on i started to drink again and for a few months I was actually able to drink just on Saturdays and work out the rest of the days.
Life was good I felt as if I had beat this disease and couldn't be happier about it maybe i was just the lucky one?. Well cutting the story short i ended up slowly going back to drinking the way I was before one day at a time. Nothing bad has happened due to my drinking yet but its getting very close so I have decided to give it another run at the.
What is everyone's suggestion I know I cant do it alone, is AA the best way to go? i cant make more then 2 meetings a week due to my work. Is there any other tips or suggestions on how to make this happen? any help would be appreciated
Life was good I felt as if I had beat this disease and couldn't be happier about it maybe i was just the lucky one?. Well cutting the story short i ended up slowly going back to drinking the way I was before one day at a time. Nothing bad has happened due to my drinking yet but its getting very close so I have decided to give it another run at the.
What is everyone's suggestion I know I cant do it alone, is AA the best way to go? i cant make more then 2 meetings a week due to my work. Is there any other tips or suggestions on how to make this happen? any help would be appreciated
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by zoomi 
...I felt as if I had beat this disease
Alcoholism doesn't go away. It goes into remission...as long as you don't drink.
As for AA, try it. What you were doing before wasn't working so trying something that might makes good sense.
It's not the number of meeting you can go to; it's finding a sponsor and working the steps. Make the meetings you can make count.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 544
Friend-
All you have to do is not drink today. Don't worry about tomorrow, next week, next month or even think about next year. Why jump over a hurdle when you can walk over a stick? Once you reduce the goal down to a level that's achievable, sobriety doesn't feel so overwhelming.
This is all I ever ask of myself. Nineteen months later, the philosophy still works. The only incentive I add to it are rewards. Every 30-60 days I do something nice for myself, such as a road trip, a new pair of shoes, or a small gift. It's important to keep that proverbial carrot in front of you at all times.
Hope this helps.
I'll be praying for you.
All you have to do is not drink today. Don't worry about tomorrow, next week, next month or even think about next year. Why jump over a hurdle when you can walk over a stick? Once you reduce the goal down to a level that's achievable, sobriety doesn't feel so overwhelming.
This is all I ever ask of myself. Nineteen months later, the philosophy still works. The only incentive I add to it are rewards. Every 30-60 days I do something nice for myself, such as a road trip, a new pair of shoes, or a small gift. It's important to keep that proverbial carrot in front of you at all times.
Hope this helps.
I'll be praying for you.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,414
My advice is quit trying to moderate, stop for good, and realize
life can be absolutely wonderful sober.
There is freedom and peace when you walk away from the bottle.
I also thought I could moderate, couldn't imagine a future without some alcohol. . .
All that is over and I feel better than I have my whole adult life.
Give it a chance and you will be amazed!
life can be absolutely wonderful sober.
There is freedom and peace when you walk away from the bottle.
I also thought I could moderate, couldn't imagine a future without some alcohol. . .
All that is over and I feel better than I have my whole adult life.
Give it a chance and you will be amazed!
SeaScape
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: California
Posts: 313
Daily diligence and having a plan....for weekends and nights out. I had a similar experience with just wanting to moderate. Now I just want to be sober and free.
Its a big adjustment.
You can do it.
Its a big adjustment.
You can do it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 113
Thank you for the replies everyone. I have tried many times to do it myself it NEVER works, I am only 23 and everyone around me seems to partying every weekend 
. I will try to actually commit myself to AA. I have a lot of anxiety and just sit very quietly at AA in open meetings. I will try to go to a closed meeting this Saturday, any suggestion on what I should do? do I have to speak? and should I try to find a sponsor right away?
. I will try to actually commit myself to AA. I have a lot of anxiety and just sit very quietly at AA in open meetings. I will try to go to a closed meeting this Saturday, any suggestion on what I should do? do I have to speak? and should I try to find a sponsor right away?
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,469
I don't use AA so can't give you suggestions for that, but I know for certain that you need to commit yourself to never drinking. If people around you are partying, then you need to look at the situation and if it will work for you. I couldn't be around people who were drinking for most of the first year I was in recovery.
The main thing is to know for sure that you can do it.
The main thing is to know for sure that you can do it.
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Originally Posted by zoomi
is AA the best way to go?
This website is a great resource for learning about the variety of options available to you. Read around the various forums. See what you discover.
Best of Luck on Your Journey!
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
For me the most important thing was accepting that I cannot drink, even in moderation. And believe me, I tried every possible "moderation" tactic known to man. Every single one of them ended up returning me to regular drinking.
If you have access to AA meetings that would be a great way to get started. As others have mentioned, AA is more about the steps than the number of meetings you go to. Some groups and sponsors try to pitch the 90 meetings in 90 days to get started, but if that's not physically possible then do as many meetings as you can.
I personally use SR as my primary support resource. I read here daily and post on almost a daily basis and it works very well.
Don't forget other local options like counseling, rehab center offerings like outpatient, etc. As well as the other self-directed recovery programs like AVRT, etc.
If you have access to AA meetings that would be a great way to get started. As others have mentioned, AA is more about the steps than the number of meetings you go to. Some groups and sponsors try to pitch the 90 meetings in 90 days to get started, but if that's not physically possible then do as many meetings as you can.
I personally use SR as my primary support resource. I read here daily and post on almost a daily basis and it works very well.
Don't forget other local options like counseling, rehab center offerings like outpatient, etc. As well as the other self-directed recovery programs like AVRT, etc.
Phoenix Rising Again
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 3,079
I know there is no way I could moderate. It's a slippery slope to return to binge drinking for me and trying to "just have one" would be taking the first step over the line.
Looks like a bunch of folks have given you some great advice already. Just take it one day at a time. Like Scott said, at least for now, SR is my main source of support and it is a great place for support.
Welcome and I'm glad you decided to join us!
Looks like a bunch of folks have given you some great advice already. Just take it one day at a time. Like Scott said, at least for now, SR is my main source of support and it is a great place for support.
Welcome and I'm glad you decided to join us!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Omaha,NE
Posts: 372
I can tell you I'm starting from the same place. I've been in denial and trying to moderate my drinking to no end. I've never been a daily drinker, but once I have one, it's anyone's guess how many I will have.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: LITCHFIELD
Posts: 15
Anxiety? Me too! It can be quite hard to relax our brains. Running and running on. I ended up trying behavioral therapy to retrain my brain. It took quite some time. I did it. Believe me, my mind still gets loose, but when you learn how to use your own brain to get your own brain to quiet down, it's awesome! Some of us are like that. I work everyday at it. But it's needed. It works and makes me feel good.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
Hi zoomi. I'm so glad you came back to give this another shot. We know you can do it.
I tried to moderate many times over a 30 yr. period. I was sure it was just a matter of willpower. I allowed my life to be destroyed because I was too stubborn to admit I had no control once it was in my system. I'm very glad you've learned this valuable lesson. At 23 it is hard - but you'll be saving yourself so much drama and grief down the line. Be proud of yourself for reaching this conclusion.
I tried to moderate many times over a 30 yr. period. I was sure it was just a matter of willpower. I allowed my life to be destroyed because I was too stubborn to admit I had no control once it was in my system. I'm very glad you've learned this valuable lesson. At 23 it is hard - but you'll be saving yourself so much drama and grief down the line. Be proud of yourself for reaching this conclusion.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Hi. I was never able to moderate my drinking. But I sure kept trying. Over and over with no success. It just didn't work. AA meetings and coming here and talking to or texting people I have met in AA help me. If I have learned one thing it is that I cannot do this alone and asking for help was the hardest bit. I've taken to heart the adage that a problem shared is a problem halved.
A woman I know said tonight in an AA meeting that when she first started going she only went to open meetings. For five years. It was only when she started going to closed meetings that healing really began. You don't have to do anything other than to have a desire to stop drinking. The meeting I went to tonight had one person attending who had never been to a meeting before so we all shared what brought us to AA rather than following the usual format which is a Big Book study. After we all told our stories the newcomer was asked if they wanted to share and they did but didn't need to. The newcomer was a woman and the women at the meeting gave her contact numbers to call if she felt she wanted to talk to anyone.
If you are interested in going, look around for meetings. Not all young people are out drinking...some of them are going to AA meetings. I've seen 19, 20 year olds at meetings. If you are near a college or university some of the meetings near them may have more younger people. Or areas where there are a large number of young people living.
And post here. There are always people here to lend support.
A woman I know said tonight in an AA meeting that when she first started going she only went to open meetings. For five years. It was only when she started going to closed meetings that healing really began. You don't have to do anything other than to have a desire to stop drinking. The meeting I went to tonight had one person attending who had never been to a meeting before so we all shared what brought us to AA rather than following the usual format which is a Big Book study. After we all told our stories the newcomer was asked if they wanted to share and they did but didn't need to. The newcomer was a woman and the women at the meeting gave her contact numbers to call if she felt she wanted to talk to anyone.
If you are interested in going, look around for meetings. Not all young people are out drinking...some of them are going to AA meetings. I've seen 19, 20 year olds at meetings. If you are near a college or university some of the meetings near them may have more younger people. Or areas where there are a large number of young people living.
And post here. There are always people here to lend support.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 113
Thank you all. I know I can not do this alone I have tried many times and failed. So this week starting tonight I plan on going to four meetings one open which I have went to before but for the first time I will be going into a closed one as well
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
