Djdj

My story begins when I was in adolescence, drugs and alcohal were everywhere. I have been smoking MJ for about 6 years on a consistent basis. I have ruined friendships, closed myself out, and generally have not been the person I want to be. I've realized I must be a good example for nephews and nieces. I can be the eccentric relative that I never had. I lost my great career due to a failed random drug test at work. That hit hard and I was upset with myself. About two weeks later I was involved in a pedestrian auto accident where I was the pedestrian. After that I was beat up mentally, physically, and depressed. I lost my job, I was hit, and I stopped caring about moving forward. I began to drink and smoke excessively everyday and every night. Smoking until
I passed out and when I would wake up smoke until I passed out again. I would smoke 2 joints before work everyday come home and do the same thing. My life has been a horrible repetitive wash cycle. I quit my job in January due to...pot idk I was unhappy with where I was working. I reapplied to my former employer to see what would happen and they called me back. At first they asked if I had been clean to which I lied and said yes. They also asked if I had been through any counseling which to a "pothead" is almost a joke. But I let them know my desire to work again for them. They told me to go and seek help for the issue needed addressing, I didn't think there was an issue. Now I have gone through several "group" meetings and properly applied and received funding for more intensive " outpatient" therapy and I feel good. I have been wondering how years of sober will feel after so many years of addiction. It's been a big help to have a rewarding goal such as a great career being offered. I wouldn't consider myself jumping through hoops for the employer. It's an earned position. Today is day 5 of no pot, I have drank several beers but I don't drink more than 3 a day. I'm not sure if anyone can relate but I am excited for the future and just being on day 5 I feel a lot better. Day 1-3 were hell
Cheers dj dj

least

Welcome to the family. You'll find a lot of support here. I'm glad you joined us.

PurpleKnight

Hey Djdj, I didn't smoke myself, my vice was alcohol!!

With any addiction, 1 day at a time is the way to go, great job on 5 days!!

Welcome to the Forum, it's great to have you onboard!!

Djdj

Thanks the groups help and It good being able to think and talk about it responsibly. It's been easier to tell friends and relatives about the steps I'm taking and that yes I'm an addict and that's ok. It's a weakness that can be strengthened. I hope to continue posting and helping others in the common goal. Because we are fighting the good fight

Aarryckha

Welcome, Djdj!

Like purpleknight said, one day at a time!

KateL

Welcome DJdj xxxx

Djdj

Thank you everyone. Today is day 6 and I will keep everyone updated with progress. I have begun normal sleep schedule again so insomnia isn't the problem. A friend of mine was looking for some pot yesterday and I told him I could help. Luckily I couldn't get ahold of anyone and just stayed at home. Drank a few beers and read the rest of Cannery row by john stienbeck. Going out and being active during the day is great. Also great not to sit at home all day just puff puffin. I'm posting this now in a little coffee shop surrounded by people. Today I calculated that I'm 25 percent clean. Next week will be 50 and I cannot wait for 100 percent. I will beat this addiction and make it mine instead of the other way around.

sugarbear1

Why not give up the beer, too and be truly sober?

Dee74

Hi djdj

welcome - a lot of us have a history with pot. I smoked for 30 years.
You'll find a lot of support here.

I would be careful with the beers tho. Its very easy to get cross addicted and pick up a new bad habit. I did it myself.

D

Djdj

Yes I agree. To be 100 percent sober is attainable. I spoke about this with my couselor and living healthy is a goal. I do like the flavor of craft brews. But I'm also willing to replace beer with water. How has everyone here attained 100 percent sobriety? This group and my couselor help so much. Also the thought of all my co workers cheering for me. I have been fighting with my dad because he have me an ultimatum saying of I wasn't clean I wasn't going to be hanging out with him. But generally he's not supportive, or supportive in the tough love kind of way. I do want 100 percent sobriety and I will achieve my goal.
Again thank you all for even posting and keeping me engaged. I will report tomorrow about day 7.

Djdj

In the coffe shop I drank 2 med coffees and have a little caffeine buzz....

Raider

Djdj, everyone here is not 100% sober....but most try. Good luck you're doing great Buddy!!!!

Djdj

Days 7-8 went well. No real urges to get stoned. Been busy with my entire day. Wake up around 8 am and sleep by 10 pm. Normally I couldn't sleep without pot and now it seems like a distant memory. Looking forward to starting outpatient treatment but am anxious to be admitted. Maybe the anxiousness is from the pot. Today is day 9. It feels good to not wake up in a haze and stay in a haze. When I was smoking it would take hours to "wake up"
Again I'm in a coffee shop posting this.

Dee74

For me it boils down to two things - enough support, and being prepared to make the changes in my life necessary for a 100% commitment to sobreity and recovery

D

Djdj

Today was the first day at the outpatient program. Took a UA and now I must call each day to check on UAs. It could be 1-3 times a week for those. My first day with my long term counselor will be on the 20 the and I can't wait. I haven't had any urges to smoke and today is the 16 th day I think. Over st Patricks day weekend I did drink and got drunk however no smoke.

Thanks all