amy55

I Got Flowers Today
(Dedicated to Battered Women)

angel

I got flowers today!
It wasn't my birthday or any other special day.
We had our first argument last night;
And he said a lot of cruel things that really hurt;
I know that he is sorry and didn’t mean to say the things he said;
Because he sent me flowers today.


I got flowers today.
It wasn't our anniversary or any other special day.
Last night, he threw me into a wall and started to choke me.
It seemed like a nightmare.
I couldn't believe that it was real.
I woke up this morning sore and bruised all over.
I know he must be sorry.
Because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today!
It wasn’t our anniversary or any other special day;
Last night he threw me into a wall and then started choking me;
It seemed unreal, a nightmare, but you wake up from nightmares;
And I woke up this morning sore and bruised all over—but I know he is sorry;
Because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today!
And it wasn’t Valentines Day or any other special day;
Last night he beat me and threatened to kill me;
Make-up and long sleeves didn’t hide the cuts and bruises this time;
I couldn’t go to work today because I didn’t want anyone to know—but I know
he’s sorry;
Because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today!
And it wasn’t Mother’s Day or any other special day;
Last night he beat me again, and it was worse than all of the other times;
If I leave him, what will I do? How will I take care of the kids? What about
money?
I’m afraid of him, but I’m too scared and dependent to leave him! But he
must be sorry;
Because he sent me flowers today.


I got flowers today….
Today was a special day—it was the day of my funeral;
Last night he killed me;
If only I would have gathered the courage and strength to leave him;
I could have received help from the Women’s Shelter, but I didn’t ask for
their help;
So I got flowers today—for the last time.



By Paulette Kelly

ã Copyright 1992 Paulette Kelly
All Rights Reserved

angel

Domestic Violence





I hope no one minds that I posted this. I was just remembering all of the make-up gifts that I received through the years.

Raider

Very sad......once a man tried to choke me when we were on the floor.........I broke his robs. I was all so sad.

amy55

Raider, if a man was trying to choke you, you were fighting for your life. I have a story that I can tell you about this. I used to be on an abuse forum. I met a woman there, and I met here in real life also. She had married a navy seal. He came home drunk one day, and tried to choke her to death. First he beat the sh!t out of her, she was black and blue all over. She had a medallion on her neck. It was quite big. So he was trying to kill her, the medallion was there. Because of that it didn't block her windpipe. He always carried a gun. She pretended she was dead, then slowly reached for his gun, then shot him. She was never charged with anything after they saw what he did to her.

If you would ever like to tell your story, I would feel honored to listen to it.

Lovenjoy

Amy - so powerful. I am sitting at work in tears and so shaken by this post. I have never been a victim of DV. The chaos of my early life was neglectful, chaotic, emotionally abusive with one remembered physical altercation between parents but I have never been touched in violence. Because of early 'abuse' issues or maybe just survival instincts I have a hardwired reaction to anyone threatening to inflict violence - fight or flight, never ever stay.

This is a very courageous post. I thank you. For whatever reason my HP felt it was important for me to read. Maybe to understand. Maybe to share with someone I have yet to meet. I know it will stay with me.

I am long time sober and in all this time I haven't dated. It is something I have wondered about in the last few years. With my codie issues coming to light recently and renewed ACOA work I am beginning to know that not getting involved in a relationship has been the right thing for me. When asked over the years about this I have always responded with 'I'm not healthy enough'. And I have known in my heart that this was true. Between ACOA, AA, and Al-anon recovery there is no doubt in my mind I would not have found myself in a healthy relationship. Maybe this is why I am so touched by this? There but for the grace of God.

And maybe someday I will be healthy enough! (there aren't anymore clubs i qualify for are there?!) You are an awesome inspiration to me Amy. (((((hugs)))))

For you too Raider (((((hugs))))) - saw you got 2 months, woot woot!!! Keep up the good work! Rooting for you!

amy55

Thank You Lovenjoy,

I didn't think this post would surface again. Your post is beautiful, and thank you for sharing that.

I do understand where you are coming from. I should be in all the groups that you have joined. I understand about not wanting to have or be in a relationship. I wasn't ready for it when I did. I realize now that I didn't love myself. I was always going around looking for the love that should have been inside of me for myself, but I wanted for someone to give it me. They couldn't. That's why I got into toxic relationships.

This poem always spoke so much to me.

You see, when I was newly married, I actually thought, if you had a fight, (abuse) then to make up, I will get something. I actually made of list of things that I wanted. (Things that normal people who were married would sit down and discuss) Like a weeping cherry tree in front of the house, or a night out, or watch a movie together. The only time I got those things was after a fight, (abuse). So I made that list, and I let him see the things I wanted. One by one they were being crossed off the list. That's only because of the "make up" gifts he would give me after attacking me verbally, emotionally, and sometimes physically.

I found this poem, and I never did put I wanted flowers on my list. (lol)

When I found this poem, I saw what I have been doing. What he was doing. It was the cycle of abuse.

F50Lurker

Wow, I understand completely. My exRAbf from years ago used to pick horrific fights with me, bully and belittle me, and the next day send an exhorbitant bouquet with teddy bear, balloons, the whole works. Which he TOTALLY could not afford. All my coworkers would be delighted and jealous... "Oh... your boyfriend loves you SO MUCH, that is SO cute!" Ugh.... sickening.

Glad that was almost 30 years ago.

amy55

Even though that was almost 30 years ago, you didn't deserve that treatment. Remember, you only deserve the best. Just treat everyone else the best and treat everyone else the way you want to be treated.

Just saying ----- but to this day get me a plant instead of dead flowers. Sorry if that might offend florists.