SingledadPolo73

It has been a couple of months since I posted, but as a reminder, I am a dad of 3 girls that basically walked away with nothing but my girls.
During these couple of months, we have moved to a larger place that fits us all, new furniture, tv, beds, clothes, etc...
Regarding AW, she has her days of silence then she turns on the anger... She just turned on the anger/hate but is visiting us on saturday. This will be the second time she see's the kids in almost 6 months! Just to be clear, she is all over the place about how she is fighting for the kids ...

Anyway, during these past months, the girls and I have have super great days and some bad days. Lately, my eldest 14yr old has agreed with her younger sisters that she wants a cat and my 10 & 8 yr old want a hamsters.
The girls were brought up with two dogs ( a german shepard and a golden retriever) that they loved dearly. They miss them badly...which really sadens them.

But here I am trying to fix our lives and want to show them that we are a great team, with summer coming up, I want to show them different places, have random trips...I tried explaining that we should discuss the cat/hamster issue after summer, but they have been very persistant. I kinda agreed to getting hamster cages and that they would have to prove they would be able to look after empty cages.

I think its a bad idea to get a cat and 2 hamsters ... how the heck do I convince the girls? I feel like darth vader saying no

Florence

They should choose: cat or hamster. Remember cats live for twenty years. Hamsters live about two.

Raider

I don't know about that. I would take any animal coming my way. But if you really are going to travel this summer, sure a lot easier with no animals at home.

SingledadPolo73

I agree...but they each want a pet. Thats the tough part. So the cat is for my eldest, while the younger sisters get hamsters...thats their plan.

JustAGirl1971

Singledad, is the question whether to get a cat or hamsters? Or, is the question how to talk the girls out of getting either right now? If it's cat or hamster, I vote cat... but I'm a cat person!

Getting both is probably not a good idea. We had finches and cats (plus a dog and a turtle!) when I was a kid. It was an excellent lesson on the food chain! I can't tell you how many times we came home to beaks, feathers, and feet scattered around the house We finally gave up on the birds and stuck to the cats and dog

MissFixit

My sister and I grew up with just our dad for about 10 years. During that time we had a dog usually 2 cats and at one time a hamster too. Dad got a house sitter when we went out of town, or paid a neighborhood kid/neighbor to feed them when we were on vacation. My cat lived 17 1/2 years. My sister's cats kept dying of various injuries (dog attack, car). We stopped getting her cats. Her hamster died when we were away. She is jinxed.

KateL

You are doing a grand job xxxxx

SparkleKitty

Hey there -- I think there is probably a great temptation to give the girls whatever they want right now because of how stressful the last few months have been, but don't forget you're still their dad and you get to make the kinds of decisions that are best for everyone. Having pets is primarily a responsibility, not a privilege. Having one pet for everyone should be enough, rather than everyone getting their own. As the girls prove their ability to care for and be responsible for one animal you can reconsider the option of getting more.

Finding reliable pet care if you decide to go away should not be that hard. There will always be a reason not to get a pet in that case.

Recovering2

You're doing a great job. But don't let any guilt about the situation push you to make a decision you don't feel good about. You are the Dad. The girls can all agree on what they want, but ultimately you make the decision. If you have travel plans and don't think this is the time for a pet...then this is not the time. Maybe set a time to revisit the issue, like next fall when summer is over and they're in school. Pets are a huge responsibility.

hopeful4

Have you ever had a hampster? They are sure not much trouble and very easy to care for. We currently have a family dog and a guinea pig which is the best and easiest pet I have ever had. She lives in a cage in my 8 year old daughter's room who is responsible for her. I told her if she does not take care of her I will take her to the Humaine Society and she will have to pay me back the $ I have invested in the pig. So far, so good.

Cats are pretty easy too, they really look after themselves. It's a matter of feeding and cleaning the litter box.

I dunno....I guess I am a pushover but they have went through alot and pets can be very comforting. I would give in, but that's just me.

We had two hampsters and they both died. One lived a couple of years, the other only a few weeks. The guinea pig is alot better!

BTW...I made my daughter EARN the guinea pig. She had to show me she was working at school, read so much per week, and keep her room clean. We have had it for 10 months thus far.

Good Luck and God Bless!

Stung

I agree with Sparklekitty.

I also think a small dog is easier to care for than a cat and 2 hamsters. And really if you brought home a cute little cuddly dog it wouldn't look like the older sister got her way or like the two younger girls got their way and you would have only one pet instead of three. So I vote for option C: small dog. (Yes, I'm totally aware that a dog wasn't one of the original choices.)

P.S. I think you're doing a great job! Keep it up, SingleDad!!

dandylion

Singledad----I suspect that you may have a hard time telling your sweet girls "no" about things due to some feelings of guilt about the life they have had so far. The reason that I say this is because this is sooo common. Don't fall into this trap--because they will catch on to this quickly and use it to manipulate y ou forever.....LOL. True. Don't let the bad habit start, now.

About the animals---I toootally understand the feelings involved. It is great for children to have pets, in my opinion, because they l earn so much from the experience.

This is my suggestion---how about agreeing to get a cat--to be shared by the whole family??? Tell them that it is an "experiment" to see how it goes. Remind them that the hamsters would become victims of the cat (probably) and that it wouldn't be fair to the hamsters. Also, remind them that a hamster is very lucky to live for even 2yrs. Cats are also easier to leave at home than hamsters (true). I also agree that turtles for the younger two are good alternatives.

This buys a lot of time to make further decisions..down the line about more pets. Pets can be a big logistical consideration which many people don't think about. Many animals end up in the shelters because nobody thought about what would happen in divorce, moving, etc. Very sad. (not saying that this is you.)!

I always had pets for my kids--and, glad that I did. I was always lucky enough to have a house for them and able to have people to watch them if we were traveling.

You are the dad and you make the final decisions---and explain your reasioning behind those decisions.

Good luck!!

dandylion

FireSprite

Agreed! Your girls are old enough to share in the responsibility of having a pet & it's such a great life lesson really. I would just put a positive spin on it - YES! You CAN have pets, as soon as we are done travelling so that we don't worry about or miss them while we are having fun without them.... in the meantime kiddos, how about we read up on taking care of them & what it will take & get ready, figure out responsibilities,etc. etc.

DD campaigned HARD for a dog. She loves animals, is a natural with them & really is the kind of kid that should have a dog.....but *I'm* not & I knew I couldn't handle the extra work load involved. She was about 6 & we had 3 cats, but as she pointed out, they were OUR pets that we'd had since years before she was born. She didn't have her own pet that she could bond with, ours were tolerant of her, but they were pretty old & settled in their routines by the time she came along.

So, we sat down & I honestly explained why I could not commit to a dog & we discussed exactly the work it would take. She insisted that she could handle it, lol. She saw her cousin managing her own 2 dogs so she had a vague idea, so I helped her lay it out in terms of her own daily schedule. At the end of it she sat quietly for a few moments & then looked up & said, "Can I have a cat?"

JustAGirl1971

Smart girl This is exactly why I don't have a dog!

NWGRITS

Goldfish. Easy to flush and replace without anyone noticing.

wholelottarosie

We had a hamster and a cat. hamster was soon 'missing'

Pia

IMO I wouldn't get anything right now. You have trips coming up. Plus preteen years they will always want to do is be with friends. Take a trip to the animal shelter to volunteer pet and snuggle with the animals and cleaning up the crap so they can be reminded do you want to clean this up. Just my two cents

ukiah77

Sounds like you are doing a great job! I have lots of pets and 3 daughters. Although it may be tempting to give in to their pet requests, it may not fill the void in the long run. Seems like they want something to love and play with, but the novelty wears off in time, then YOU are stuck taking care of all the pets while the kids are off with their friends. Maybe compromise, and get ONE family pet, a small dog or cat for all of them to share. Hamsters are easy to take care of, but it could be difficult finding someone to take them in while you guys are out of town. My hamster got loose and lived in my walls for a week before letting me catch him again. Good luck, I know you'll figure out the right thing to do! Keep up the good work.