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Thoughts after 3 weeks

Old 03-06-2014, 09:34 AM
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Thoughts after 3 weeks

I've noticed that it hasn't been a straight-line progression. I'll be fine for a few days and then, inexplicably, have a very strong craving. Most useful tools to date have been the concept of the AV or 'addictive voice' that I've heard here. It helps me put the craving in perspective and it's not 'me' that wants a beer, it's that thing that I've let take up residence in my heart/soul/mind for 30 years. It's not being fed now and it acts up on occasion. Another useful tool is early bedtime and a good book. Also, long walks and workouts.

Changes I've noticed - first and foremost, quality of sleep and mornings are awesome. I have been more moody, irritable on occasion, I'll admit. Although didn't help when wife said, 'you probably wouldn't be as grouchy if you had a beer in your hand' (wait, did you really say that?)

I've also noticed root beer tastes pretty damn good with pizza! Also, I really enjoy driving home from a restaurant (smaller bill, btw), and not being the least bit concerned about being pulled over.

My original intent was to go 100 days, and then reassess. I'm not looking too far in thefuture right now, but I'm starting to think I could just stop altogether and it might not be the end of the world.
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Old 03-06-2014, 09:56 AM
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This is wonderful. I remember how awkward it was for me to drive at night after getting sober. Something felt strange. It dawned on me that the "strange" was the fact that I was driving at night. I would never drive at night due to drinking. It was elation to say the least! Take each day as a new day and see where it leads you. Congrats on the 3 weeks. You are doing a wonderful job!
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Old 03-06-2014, 10:02 AM
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Great to hear about your progress.
I came here wanting 30 days and now I don't want to go back there to drinking anymore. I can't handle it. I just can't handle it at all. I'll never have new hobbies or friends or my health. It's not easy being sober but it was really hard being such a drinker everyday - it was work.
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Old 03-06-2014, 12:50 PM
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I can relate Alkaline...

I can go 1 week...two weeks...and sometimes more feeling fine. Sober and in control, feeling great and thinking YES !!! I CAN do this...and then...like a bolt out of the blue...it hits. And hits hard. I want to drink !!!

I cant explain it. I cant resist it either. Not yet anyway.

Just being honest. I HAVE to be honest with you. If I cant be honest with you, I can never be honest with myself.

Thanks for your post. Best of luck to you.

Dave
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Old 03-07-2014, 07:37 AM
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^dave - thanks for the post. Question - when you have gone a couple weeks and then you get the urge that you can't resist - do you find that actually having that drink isn't as great as the expectation that you've built up?
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Old 03-07-2014, 07:50 AM
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I always try to focus on the day at hand. If I think about not being able to use drugs or drink for X amount of time it's too overwhelming. But for today I won't use. That's a lot easier for my mind to handle.
I used to drink a lot back in my party days, it was never my drug of choice, but now that I've stopped using opiates I want to drink. That's just my addiction trying to weasel it's way back to the surface, and I won't let it (out of pure stubbornness if nothing else). I've tried to fill that void with sex, drugs, drinking, shopping..so much obsession & compulsion.
Congrats on three weeks, you're doing great!! Try not to overwhelm yourself and remember, every night you go to bed and haven't used is a successful day.
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Old 03-07-2014, 01:06 PM
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Question - when you have gone a couple weeks and then you get the urge that you can't resist - do you find that actually having that drink isn't as great as the expectation that you've built up?

Hi Alkaline. I never enjoy a "slip". It's part of the insanity. I think I try to talk myself into how "nice" it would be and can make myself really believe it but...it never really is.

It's just the same ole' drunk and the same ole' beer buzz that I have experienced before, thousands of times but it's made worse after a period of sobriety due to the inevitable remose, guilt, dispair and feelings of doom and dread because..."I blew it again".

You'd think I would have learned by now...

Something has gotta change and I'am still looking for that "Something".

I guess the important thing is never, Never, EVER give up !

Dave
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Old 03-07-2014, 01:30 PM
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Congrats on three weeks sober!
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