Went to AH's dr. Appt today
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 153
Went to AH's dr. Appt today
Before I made AH leave I had insisted he make an appt. for both of us to see his psychiatrist. He is on meds for add and anxiety. I was concerned about this and the drinking and was sure he hadn't told her...he said he did. Anyway he agreed and we went today.
It was validating for me. She was great - didn't accept his BS. For instance she asked how long since he drank- "um idk 3 weeks" - of course a lie. She said what do you mean you don't know - that's a big part of AA. If you weren't drinking you would know. She also said at one point "you can play games all you want with the breathalyzer but your wife isn't lying she took time to come in and see me out of concern for you."
She also described how he has an addicts behavior - refusing to face reality, pretending everything is fine, trying to change the subject, not taking responsibility for anything.
He hadn't told her that he wasn't living at home anymore, is losing his business and only admitted to a little slip up drinking. She told him he needed eval for treatment.
Now I am not kidding myself that this is going to do any good but it still felt good to get it out there. I think she needs to know if she is treating him.
Each day he isn't here is a little easier....it's more peaceful. Still heartbreaking. This site helps a lot. I keep reminding myself of the craziness - that I was lonelier when he was here...
It was validating for me. She was great - didn't accept his BS. For instance she asked how long since he drank- "um idk 3 weeks" - of course a lie. She said what do you mean you don't know - that's a big part of AA. If you weren't drinking you would know. She also said at one point "you can play games all you want with the breathalyzer but your wife isn't lying she took time to come in and see me out of concern for you."
She also described how he has an addicts behavior - refusing to face reality, pretending everything is fine, trying to change the subject, not taking responsibility for anything.
He hadn't told her that he wasn't living at home anymore, is losing his business and only admitted to a little slip up drinking. She told him he needed eval for treatment.
Now I am not kidding myself that this is going to do any good but it still felt good to get it out there. I think she needs to know if she is treating him.
Each day he isn't here is a little easier....it's more peaceful. Still heartbreaking. This site helps a lot. I keep reminding myself of the craziness - that I was lonelier when he was here...
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
that must have been very validating for YOU chelsea! and heartbreaking too....
think about your AH's situation...yes he is technically IN therapy....but he hasn't been forthcoming with his therapist AT ALL. how on earth can anything close to progress be made if he is presenting a completely false image of himself, not being honest, and not listening??
this is exactly why when the A finally goes to a meeting, or calls about rehabs, or gets a counseling appointment we caution that the hard work has just begun! nothing will be fixed or remedied in short order and they are light years from being "cured"! i imagine you see that all too clearly now!
think about your AH's situation...yes he is technically IN therapy....but he hasn't been forthcoming with his therapist AT ALL. how on earth can anything close to progress be made if he is presenting a completely false image of himself, not being honest, and not listening??
this is exactly why when the A finally goes to a meeting, or calls about rehabs, or gets a counseling appointment we caution that the hard work has just begun! nothing will be fixed or remedied in short order and they are light years from being "cured"! i imagine you see that all too clearly now!
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