Hey all!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Oshawa Ontario
Posts: 3
Hey all!
Hey everyone. I'm new to this forum but I am hoping I can get the help I am looking for on here. A bit about myself....I am 37 years old with 2 kids. My boyfriend is a recovering alcoholic who has fallen off the wagon. The drinking has become so bad that we don't see each other and hardly talk. I'm just looking for any advice or suggestions on how to handle this situation or help him get the help he needs. Anything at all because right now I am at a loss. 
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Hey Lexxus, welcome to the Forum!! 
I'm assuming he doesn't live with yourself and your kids? your first priority is protecting yourself and them from the alcoholism.
You'll hear this a lot, but until HE decides to change his ways, there is nothing anyone else can do, an addict needs to make the decision to be Sober themselves, no one can make the decision for them.
In the meantime though getting support for yourself is a good way forward. Have you looked into Al-Anon? they are for the friends/family of an alcoholic . . . we also have a specific place on the forum for friends/family which has loads of info on this type of support!!
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
I'm assuming he doesn't live with yourself and your kids? your first priority is protecting yourself and them from the alcoholism.
You'll hear this a lot, but until HE decides to change his ways, there is nothing anyone else can do, an addict needs to make the decision to be Sober themselves, no one can make the decision for them.
In the meantime though getting support for yourself is a good way forward. Have you looked into Al-Anon? they are for the friends/family of an alcoholic . . . we also have a specific place on the forum for friends/family which has loads of info on this type of support!!
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Oshawa Ontario
Posts: 3
no, he doesn't live with me and my kids. I have heard people say that I can't help him. It has to be him that goes to get the help. I appreciate the reply back. I will check the board that you mentioned on this site. Thank you so much
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,776
Welcome to the family. 
Until/unless he wants recovery himself there's nothing you can do for him. I'd suggest you look after yourself and your kids first and foremost. He's an adult. Let him make his own choices. You may also want to start thinking about what you're getting out of this relationship.
I'm glad you found us and joined the family.
Until/unless he wants recovery himself there's nothing you can do for him. I'd suggest you look after yourself and your kids first and foremost. He's an adult. Let him make his own choices. You may also want to start thinking about what you're getting out of this relationship.I'm glad you found us and joined the family.
AlmA
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Marbella Spain
Posts: 714
Welcome Lexxus,
You need to post with the FRIENDS & FAMILY.
As they are going to help you tones, they live like you in frustration and confusion on what to do...
I can not help you cos I am on the other side...
Please do post on friends & family as they can help you so much.
and guide you!
Big Hug,
You need to post with the FRIENDS & FAMILY.
As they are going to help you tones, they live like you in frustration and confusion on what to do...
I can not help you cos I am on the other side...
Please do post on friends & family as they can help you so much.
and guide you!
Big Hug,
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,560
It's great to meet you Lexxus. I'm so glad you reached out for help. I've been on both sides of this - I was the enabler once. It's a very complicated situation. Have you tried Al-Anon?
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