natehamburg

I feel like my life is **** ....I became one of those people who I said I never would. I am currently taking online classes, unemployed, and have no car as of right now. I am 25 years old also and fighting my 2nd DUI, lost out on my enlistment to the military, I made a thread yesterday too about it. I write this because this morning my whole family pretty much told me I am a loser and to find my own rides to the jail 2x a day to breathalyze. I might be going to jail. Should I talk to a counselor or something? I really need help, I have nobody literally. Dad dont care and has not been around my whole life, my mom hates me, my brothers dont look up to me anymore and wont give me rides to the jail. everyone is sick of me and I am sick of me. I almost wish god would just kill me. I have no support from anyone and it hurts pretty bad. I have no friends or a significant other to help either. I am lost.

Longpasttime

Man, I wish I had more to offer you than moral support but it will get better. You do have lots of support from people here and we are not sick of you. I know it can seem like just a website but remember that each post is from an actual living, breathing person somewhere and most can identify with tough times our drinking has caused. Do your best every day and be kind to yourself. I would suggest AA meetings as a free, immediate and extremely helpful way of connecting with others in person. Counseling is of course very beneficial too. Don't give up, you will get through this!

SeaScape

Nate
It sounds like things are really difficult for you right now - I can understand why you feel so down and not having solid support makes things bleaker.

There have got to be resources that you can access though and a counselor is a great idea. Is there a bus to the breathe testing, walk, bike?

You have a tough battle right now but you must be really smart and strong if you were going to be a Marine. fight this battle and try not to ignore your families judgements. I know it is easier said than done. I have no job, etc right now either and I have had the pleasure of people putting me down. It can really hurt.

12mancan

Longpast said it really well, so I don't have much either, one good thing to note is that you're here, taking the first step towards a much better life... and you're young! I found myself wishing many times I would have gone through this much earlier in life. Things will get better, stick with it!

BruceSA

Hello, Nate,

Cummon, please. Is there public transport you can take? You're not a loser, you're not lost. You have the support of this forum.

How far away is the jail? Is there an alternative venue you can visit for the test? If no public transport would a taxi be a viable alternative? You must keep those appointments somehow.

Have you tried AA yet?

Please stay strong. How long has it been since the last drink? Keep positive, I know it's difficult. Visit here often and let us know how it is going / how you feel, etc, please?
Strength,

B.

PS I don't know much about the American Military but is there no way you could join a "normal" Army Unit and after a period of good service apply for a transfer to the Marines? Just a thought? I sent you a PM.

bluncain

Hold in there Dude.

FreeOwl

you're not a loser. You're battling an addiction that has taken you places that are not your True Nature nor your True Self.

I'm sorry that those around you lack the capacity to understand that right now and to back you or support you.... but it won't always be like that.

Take this challenge as the GIFT that it can be. It really can. You need to just focus on faith that from all of this can and will come a far brighter future. Keep on the sober path, do the next right thing, keep posting here, work a program..... it WILL get better.

KateL

Agree with all the above. You can get passed all of this xxxx

gleefan

Counseling is a great idea, as is AA. You can do this.

Mizzuno

Nate. I do understand how you are feeling but I would like to say a few things that may or may not make sense to you:

Your family may be tired of dealing with this issue and they are smart to put up boundaries. It is your responsibility to make it to the jail twice a day and I believe that when your family sees that you are serious, they may start to offer assistance. Do not rely on them though. No one wants to be where you are at right now, but this is this situation that you are in. Take it one day at a time. Life will not always be this way as long as you put in the effort to change all of this.

Suicide is not the answer and never will be. The one thing that is imperative in all of this is that you start to take care of you in the ways that no one else can. Show your family and yourself that you can accomplish these tasks. How far is the bus from your house? Do you have a bike? Look into alternative ways to get yourself to and from the Jail. You are fully capable of accomplishing this and you will feel better knowing that you took care of this without relying on others. You have our support on this forum.

countrygirl2014

Work on you! Find something sober that YOU like to do. Once you understand you are a strong, powerful person, everything will fall into place. I'm unemployed too after 15 years. Don't think too much. I know you can do this.

SeaScape

I meant try TO ignore your families judgments

Coldfusion

SoberRecovery is a great support of support and advice, but I found the fellowship and program of Alcoholics Anonymous to be crucial. Both my wife and I went to ninety meetings in our first ninety days of sobriety, and we're still sober a year and four months later.

Wastinglife

hi Nate,
I have been at that place where nothing is going right. People 'fall down' in life all the time but it's getting back up again that matters. At 25 yrs old, you have your whole life ahead of you. Take your punishment from the DUI and commit to turning your life around. In a year or two, things will have blown over and you can start fresh.

hypochondriac

The thing that stood out to me in your post Nate is that despite all of the shite that is going on you are taking online courses and making an effort to better yourself. That says it all really. You are not alone, you will find a lot of support here. Sometimes it is essential to have objective support outside your immediate circle of friends and family. Don't let the negative thoughts you are having turn into a downwards spiral x

natehamburg

Thanks guys, well the public transport system here sucks and I live in a town where the jail is literally on the outskirts so biking or walking is definitely out of the question. A cab would be to expensive like 15$ there and back And doing that every day is un affordable. I will be able to make it I just gotta chekc some options. It just sucks because I went through all of this about 2 years ago and here I am again.

natehamburg

btw all I have no problem not drinking during the week its just the weekend today is 4 days with no drink. I am a binge drinker when I drink I go for days.

Thepatman

You are not a looser! You prove them wrong and yes go for any help you can find!

natehamburg

any suggestions on jobs that whill hire someone with 2 dui's I imagine its going to be a **** 8.00 an hour job....I am so not used to making such a small wage I usually make 18.00-24.00 an hour.

Gakx

Not sure where you live, what jobs are available in your area or what skills you have, so giving job suggestions is tough. My best advice would be applying for positions such as mechanic, roofer, construction, lawn care or check out a temp agency to get started. I would personally apply to every job that I found. So what if they say no because there will be a few that do say yes.

Good for you on taking online classes to improve your life. The best thing you can do is keep a positive outlook and work hard to make things better for yourself. Everything will start to fall into place little by little.

Give your family time, they need to heal too. I was disowned by my family for 5 years after my drug arrest; they said I should rot in prison for the rest of my life. Now, I have been working to better my life and we are communicating once again.