Is this Alcoholism
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 15
Is this Alcoholism
I lied to myself all last week. I said that I wouldn't have a drink at the weekend, in fact the thought of a drink would have made me sick, but I did, and I hate this feeling.
I feel so bad after drinking, anxious, intrusive thoughts, blackouts, chronic insomnia, crippling depression, and Irritable bowel syndrome, but that's the least of my worries.
Why can't I stop? I just want my life back, to be panic free, to laugh, to sleep. I don't feel addicted. I drink less that ppl I go out drinking with.
What does this sound like? Am I dependent on alcohol, or an alcoholic? Why cant I say enough is enough?
I feel so bad after drinking, anxious, intrusive thoughts, blackouts, chronic insomnia, crippling depression, and Irritable bowel syndrome, but that's the least of my worries.
Why can't I stop? I just want my life back, to be panic free, to laugh, to sleep. I don't feel addicted. I drink less that ppl I go out drinking with.
What does this sound like? Am I dependent on alcohol, or an alcoholic? Why cant I say enough is enough?
sounds pretty much like what I experienced for a long, long time.
Some days I am soundly in the camp that it is TOTALLY alcoholism.
Some days.... I just don't know whether 'alcoholism' or some other term... but I do firmly know this;
Whatever it is, whatever the label, it is not a cycle that serves me, nor my loved ones, nor the world around me.
That's why I choose the path of sobriety and why I go to AA and why I'm working the steps and coming here and striving to live the best life I can free of booze because it's VERY clear that is a better path for me.
Some days I am soundly in the camp that it is TOTALLY alcoholism.
Some days.... I just don't know whether 'alcoholism' or some other term... but I do firmly know this;
Whatever it is, whatever the label, it is not a cycle that serves me, nor my loved ones, nor the world around me.
That's why I choose the path of sobriety and why I go to AA and why I'm working the steps and coming here and striving to live the best life I can free of booze because it's VERY clear that is a better path for me.
I used that label on myself to signal what I was up against. I experience a lot of what is going on with you. It's not that you can't get off the cycle. You just haven't found what works for you.
I wouldn't get lost in the definition. Alcohol is a problem or you wouldn't be quitting. You want to quit and you can't. That's a problem too.
Physical dependance can be addressed with detox. Staying quit takes recovery. Recovery from alcoholism is addressed in the AA Big Book, available online. Why don't you read it and see what rings true for you?
No one can diagnose you as "alcoholic". But by your post, it seems to be bringing you a certain degree of misery. You may want to give sobriety a go. It's not easy but bunches of people have done it.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Charlotte
Posts: 50
I am still wondering what to call myself, too. What I do know about myself is that I have tons of regrets over my behavior while drinking. I have had the need to drink every night for several years. But, now I have stopped for 29 days and so maybe I start to think I'm not an "alcoholic", because that sounds too permanent.
Doesn't matter what you decide to call yourself. You are on this forum because there is something about your drinking that is concerning to you. Don't call yourself anything while you figure out how long you can do without it. Maybe that will be forever and it won't matter what label you chose or didn't choose.
Doesn't matter what you decide to call yourself. You are on this forum because there is something about your drinking that is concerning to you. Don't call yourself anything while you figure out how long you can do without it. Maybe that will be forever and it won't matter what label you chose or didn't choose.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
I lied to myself .
I feel so bad after drinking, anxious, intrusive thoughts, blackouts, chronic insomnia, crippling depression, and Irritable bowel syndrome, but that's the least of my worries.
Why can't I stop? I just want my life back, to be panic free, to laugh, to sleep. I don't feel addicted. I drink less that ppl I go out drinking with.
What does this sound like? Am I dependent on alcohol, or an alcoholic? Why cant I say enough is enough?
I feel so bad after drinking, anxious, intrusive thoughts, blackouts, chronic insomnia, crippling depression, and Irritable bowel syndrome, but that's the least of my worries.
Why can't I stop? I just want my life back, to be panic free, to laugh, to sleep. I don't feel addicted. I drink less that ppl I go out drinking with.
What does this sound like? Am I dependent on alcohol, or an alcoholic? Why cant I say enough is enough?
In the beginning this made sense to me: "If we don't pick up the first drink we don't have to get sober again."
Hang on and keep coming, it will get better.
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
I am still wondering what to call myself, too. What I do know about myself is that I have tons of regrets over my behavior while drinking. I have had the need to drink every night for several years. But, now I have stopped for 29 days and so maybe I start to think I'm not an "alcoholic", because that sounds too permanent.
.
.
BE WELL
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)