Pola

Hello. This is my first post to this forum and the first forum I've ever joined. I'm joining because I'm addicted to hydrocodone. I've been taking them for over 5 years. I tried to stop taking them on and off for the past 4, with no success. I finally stopped on Christmas of this past year, and I was sober for 52 days.

I relapsed and have been back to taking hydros for the past 2 weeks. I am trying to stop, but I'm having such a hard time. I'm too chicken to go to NA, but I know I need help and can't quit alone. I found this forum, and I thought it would be helpful with my recovery.

I welcome any advice, words of wisdom, or any other type of support. And if I can help other people struggling with sobriety, I will do my best to help.

least

Welcome! You've come to a very supportive site. I hope we can motivate you to stay clean. We also have a substance abuse forum further down the index page. Give it a look for more insight.

You don't have to be afraid of going to NA. They've seen and heard it all so your story won't be new. I'm sure you'll be welcome there.

Hevyn

Welcome to SR Pola. It's great to have you join us. I think it will help you to not feel alone anymore.

I'm an alcoholic & have no experience with hydros - but I'm sure someone will. Be proud of yourself for reaching out & wanting a better life. Please keep reading & posting.

UTVOLFAN

Welcome. I am new here too, but my heart goes out to you. I was addicted to Oxycontin, hydros, and all the other opiate pills I could get my hands on for several years. I eventually ended up shooting up OC's and overdosed several times. My supplier was my boyfriend and we broke up I used it as my opportunity to quit, and it was HELL on earth. I didn't do it the right way though, and I ended up laying down the pills and picking up the bottle, and now here I am on a recovery site. I am happy that you are thinking about quitting, and it sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders too. My best advice to you is don't trade one bad habit for another. It won't make things any better, and you are like 100 times more likely to relapse on pills if you are drinking or doing "soft drugs" (like weed or whatever) because your lifestyle needs to change for you to change.

What makes you scared to go to NA? I was too actually. I thought it was going to be filled with a bunch of scary homeless crack heads and ex-hooker heroin addicts, all with no teeth. It wasn't like that. But if that is what you're worried about, you might want to try out an AA meeting instead. You can always just sit and listen. I'm sure you'll hear lots of things that apply to your situation and that you can relate to.

My heart is aching just thinking about you and what you are about to experience on your journey if you decide to go forward with quitting. But I am hopeful too.

Lots of hugs and prayers!

Pola

Thanks for the warm greeting everyone. I really appreciate it.

I actually have a very dumb reason for being scared to go to NA. I really just afraid of admitting, in public, that I am an addict. My husband is the only person on Earth who knows, and I have no plans on anyone ever finding out. If anyone from my job found out, I would be fired immediately. I would not ever judge anyone else in this position, but I feel that others would not be so kind.

At this point, I will do what I need to do to be sober. If that means NA, then I will go. And I've heard mixed things about drug addicts going to AA. Some people say that it is a great experience. Others say that alcoholics feel that they have a different addiction, and that non-alcoholics don't understand (I don't like drinking and rarely do it - maybe 2-3 times per year). But it might be worth a try.

And I completely agree about not replacing one drug for another. I have done many types of drugs before, but only in a recreational manner. I am one of the rare people that hates weed (it makes me feel extremely anxious). Other than hydros, I have only been addicted to cigarettes (and maybe caffeine, but I'm not too worried about that). I plan on tomorrow being day 1 of my sobriety. Since I"m being honest, I have 2 more pills left, and I know I will end up taking them tomorrow. After that, I want to be done.

I hope that I can post on Thursday morning and say that I am 1 day clean and sober.

Thanks again for the warm welcome!

MythOfSisyphus

Welcome, Pola! I'm afraid I don't know much about addiction to painkillers but you have come to a great place. You'll find help here and more than that you will find hope. You can kick the pills!

Dee74

Welcome to SR Pola - when you're ready, there's a lot of support here.

D

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum!!