firebolt

Welp, we've been at each other for over a week, and it all blew up the other night. Badly. He showed me who he is - again - and I finally listened.

I am desperate to find a place to live, and this town SUCKS for that. Its a college town, insanely expensive and I have 3 pets to boot. Oh I'm watching my sisters dogs for a week also, so I can't just split to a friends yet.

I am positive, and have a GREAT outlook right now. Hurt, but just feel free. Please send me prayers / good vibes / ect to find a place FAST. Being there is miserable, and semi hostile.

I am having a hard time not beating myself up for starting a relationship with an A, for staying with an A for 2 years longer than I should have, and for trying again after last summer when I wanted to leave. I'll get through that and eventually let it go - but that will be MUCH EASIER in some new digs, and with some peace.

Thank you all - it wouldn't have happened this way without you. xoxox

HopefulinFLA

Fingers crossed for you that you find the perfect place fast! In the mean time, detach detach detach.

Hugs!

dandylion

firebolt---your local DV center will have lots of information at their fingertips that can be of help to you. I suggest that you just give them a call and explain your situation to them. You will find them to be very supportive and willing to help. It is a sign of good mental health to ask for help when you need it.

Domestic Violence Contact Number---1-800-799-SAFE

dandylion

hopeful4

Good for you!

You said you are watching your sister's dogs, I assume she is away? Could you stay at her place w/ your dogs too until you find a place??

Just a thought.

Tight Hugs!

firebolt

I wish - she lives 2 hours away, or I would jump on that!

I have all my feelers out - the local paper and craigslist are defeating. I looked at a place yesterday with 80 applicants...yeah. Hoping word of mouth gets me in somewhere quick.

Dandylion - by hostile, I just meant seriously angry - hes back and forth between completely ignoring me and just making seriously snotty comments. You know, drunk as hell and saying how selfish, ignorant and evil I am. Quack Quack...oh well that just makes this all easier on me, and reaffirms this move. Abuse none the less, but at this point, I think he's in more danger than me

lillamy

Ain't nobody got time for that, my friend! Instead, celebrate that you made a very brave decision! I hope and pray that the universe encourages you by finding you a place to live very quickly!

stella27

don't stay where he is right now.

Can you call in sick to work for next 3 days and go stay at your sister's? I think you need to be the heck out of dodge. This is kind of a family emergency if you want to phrase it that way.

firebolt

3 days in a different town will just make it so i cant keep searching for a place. UGG and I just got word that really my only lead wont be open until July.

Trying to just breathe. And think of plans B and C.

Right now - handing it over to my HP - he HAS to know that this is for the best, right?!

Recovering2

You're doing everything right. Do your homework looking for a place, but trust that things will work out. Your HP has a plan for you. I agree with others, in the meantime detach detach detach! (((HUGS)))

firebolt

Thanks Recovering, I just feel SO TRAPPED which sucks because all I want to do is FINALLY take action like THIS SECOND. Trying not to get down, but slightly panicking. Trying to trust, and yes - detaching for sure! Thanks everyone.

lillamy

I have NO idea what your financial situation is but socialserve.com has affordable housing listings for a whole slew of states...

firebolt

Thanks Lillamy! I don't qualify for anything low income, and the 2 that I just called that don't say income regulated said the only openings they have are for low income - even though they list some that are not low income. WTH?!

firebolt

I swear this just must be a test to see if I am serious - lol

m1k3

Firebolt,



BTW, could you make him move from your current digs?

Your friend,

SparkleKitty

I don't suppose your sister could take your pets while you find a month-to-month lease to tide you over? 3 pets can be a lot to handle in addition to one's own, and I know you'd miss them terribly, but is that an option?

lillamy

Oh don't get me started. I had the same issue. I was like "so you're saying if I quit my job and go on welfare, I can find a place?"

The right place WILL appear. It did for me. I know it will for you too!!!

firebolt

Mike - when we moved in together, he wanted us to both buy the house. I've done that with another boyfriend, BIG MISTAKE and said no - I'll just rent from him. So the house is his unfortunately.

Sparklekitty - I can't even find one that won't take pets. This town is just awful for renters. My parents could take my cats - that helps, but still no luck. It's seriously in a rental crisis.

I even sent my resume today to 3 companies in my parents town 2 hours away. I can't stand that city, but I'll take what I can get at this point, and they have rentals. This would mean i'm leaving my job of 9 years, and my home town of 20 years just to escape this madness...and I'm willing to do it.

I know, Lillamy - its crazy!! They are basically saying i have to make less money to rent the same apartment as others that make more. Frustrating. I'm trying to keep the faith!

iwanthappiness

Sending prayers your way!

SparkleKitty

Oof. Just remember the promise of peace in your future however this plays out. Hang in there, firebolt!

dandylion

firebolt---you don't have to be physically abused to contact dv centers---verbal abuse counts, also!! If you let them know that he is an alcoholic and the abuse is escalating to the point that you have to get out--but, safe housing for you and your pets is a problem.

They have resources that are not always available or known to the general public. You can't lose anything by talking to them. So many people do not get help that is available because they assume that they don't qualify.

dandylion