MRSH4

Sitting here being blamed for everything under the sun... it's your fault I spilled my last bottle of pain meds, you always take my stuff, you move my things, you throw out my meds, your'e trying to control me....blah blah blah. He's getting help but apparently not fast enough or the right kind. I refuse to do this "dance" with him. I just keep replying, we are happy to drive you for inpatient or outpatient help at any time. It's tricky with my son. He actually had a valid script for a pain med - his last one per his pain dr. He abused it earlier last week so we took it to dole out the dosing. This morning, while he was sneakily transferring it to another bottle, he dropped and spilled it.......Does he honestly still have pain? He does have a few diagnoses but his behavior contradicts that there is still pain or pain requiring meds anyway. At this point he is trying anything at all to get a "rise" from someone in the house. We may actually have to change our original statement from, " you can stay as long as you are sober and taking positive steps by getting help" to inpatient or out of our house....ugh.

Ann

It's your home and you get to change the rules any time you like. One of the first and foremost rules I had in my home, clean or not, was "you will respect all members of this house and treat them as if you are grateful to live here...even if you have to fake it." That last part usually stopped any arguments dead.

He's blaming you as an excuse to use and as an excuse to not blame himself. Don't take the bait.

I hope he opts for rehab soon, for all your sakes.

Hugs

Firefall

ugh is right.... But 'tis true...your house your rules. We feel they are so helpless. Trust me, they are smarter and more proficient than we are. After all, my A sis is living in my house with all her needs met... While I am the one with real responsibilities like bills, shopping, cooking, etc... so who is inept and stressed and feeling (if you can believe it) like the uncaring mean sister because I set boundaries which get broken repeatedly.

Then when my A sis feels the axe is about to fall.. she either gets "sick" or is so loving and kind that I back off, feeling I need to be more understanding, more patient.
At 5 years and counting... I know I am full of baloney. My A sis has driven almost everyone close to me away. Don't let that happen. Try to deal from love and not resentment before you act. We are not responsible for our first thought, but for our first action.