soberlife123

So Day 1 (again, how many more day 1's do I have to go through?)

I'm super anxious and nauseous and shaky, drank a LOT this weekend. My fiancee doesn't understand why I can't drink 'like a normal person'. I Just don't want to drink ever again, I'm terrified I've done permanent damage to my body (All liver enzymes were normal but GGT was elevated- but I'd had alcohol in the 24 hours before the test, which apparently can skew it)

I just want to be healthy and I'm scared I'm not. Doctor couldn't feel my liver which she said was a good sign on physical examination. I'm just so scared , and the anxiety leads me to drink and the cycle repeats itself.

Any words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated.

Raider

You will go thru as many day one's as it takes for you to get it. You can do this if you commit to it and really want it. Good luck to you.

DoloresHaze

i can relate 100%. I was just looking at the texts from last night that I don't even remember sending. I want to quit so bad, but when my anxiety flares up I just want to feel numb.

I think just toughing it out is what we have to do. It sucks...

soberlife123

I'm just sitting here crying, I'm so freaking scared, but I know if I drink anymore I'll die and I don't want to die. The irony is i'm a huge hypochondriac but here I've been poisoning myself for ten years!

CMF76

All I know is that I hear what you are saying. This is day one for myself so tired of waking up sick not remembering going to bed. I am nervous and excited. I just wonder what can I do to till the time what I used to spend drinking. All I know is one step at a time that's all we can do.

soberlife123

Yup. I made my fiancee hide his beer before he left for work so I wouldn't be tempted to drink it. I'm sober now so I guess that's what is important.

trying to be a little happier!

Nonsensical

It is 100% possible to get what you want.

What's the plan?

Lorax1981

Give it another go lawgirl! The first couple weeks are hard but then you'll start to build a new routine. Reach out to family, friends, your doctor, support groups. I told my mom on day one and I've been open to my family and shared my struggles, here is good too (SR). I like to think of the waste of money drinking is and say to myself "I'd rather have the cash in my pocket". Keep trying, you can do it!
-Ted

FindTheAnswer

Lawgirl: I think being a hypochondriac is a big reason for drinking. It numbs those feelings that something isn't "right" with ourselves. Even though the alcohol has the potential to create much worse illness in our bodies, that immediate relief from what is causing us anxiety is what is enticing about it.

soberlife123

Not to pick up a drink

I'm trying to find an addiction counsellor in my area to go and speak too as well, I'm hoping SR can be a big part of getting better. This madness needs to end. I can't live like this any more.

PurpleKnight

Trust your doctor, he's the expert . . . keep trying, you'll get there in the end!!

Nonsensical

That's how I started. Somewhere along the way it transformed into enjoying my sober life. Be on the lookout for that. It's mega-cool when it happens.

Best of Luck!

JackieC

When I first stopped (11 weeks ago), it didn't take long for anxiety and sadness to overwhelm me completely. I started seeing a counselor and it was so, so helpful so I highly recommend it. And what she keeps reminding me is that I'm feeling all the stuff I used to numb. Feeling it utterly and completely almost for the first time ever, you know? So here's the thing -- it's work. It's work to get through it, to not just skirt around it with wine and beer. Being sober means having to face things head-on and that can be really scary.

Here's the good news: Even however scary that seems right now, I can tell you without a single doubt that it is a thousand times less stressful, scary and anxiety-inducing than what you're going through right now. That want-to-stop, know-I-need-to-stop, think-I-can't-stop, drowning-in-worry-and-shame feeling you're experiencing (which all of us here know so, so well) makes you feel worse than when you stop drinking. And here's why -- even with all the difficulties and challenges and pain you have to face and work through when you're sober, when you get to the end of the day and put your head on that pillow without having had a drink that day -- that is a feeling of joy, peace and happiness that makes it all worth it a hundred times over. Then? You wake up the next morning and you get the feeling again when you realize you aren't hungover.

I highly recommend a counselor to help you work through all the stuff we all used to suffocate with alcohol. The good news is that when you work through it with a counselor, it improves and starts to go away. When you numb it with drinks, it not only doesn't go away -- it gets worse. Every single time.

We are here for you. You can do this.

Jackie

soberlife123

It's a relief to know I'm not the only person whose experienced this...... I Know I never ever want to go through withdrawal again....

The things we do to ourselves. It's insanity.

I was able to quit smoking and recreational drug use cold, but alcohol seems to be the one that's harder for me to kick!

FreeOwl

Lawgirl....

get yourself to a meeting.

It will really help.

also, read this;

Big Book On Line - Table of Contents - Linked with the permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

If you find yourself objecting - ask yourself why you would object to anything that might free you from this?

Nothing to lose, your life to gain.

Welcome.

jbass

only day 2 myself and feel like hell right along with ya, but it'll be worth it. keep reminding myself I'm choosing the discomfort to get past it and don't plan to go through it again. hope you feel better before long

soberlife123

jbass how old are you? How long have you been drinking for? Congrats on Day 2!

I'm just taking it easy today, lots of water, resting on the couch and no alcohol I think if I just hide from the world and take it easy will make it easier to get through every other day.

soberlife123

Thanks FreeOwl! I don't know if I'll make it to a meeting today (feeling very fragile) but I was planning on attending the SoberRecovery meeting it looks like they are held every night it looks like

jbass

[QUOTE=lawgirl82;4507818]jbass how old are you? How long have you been drinking for? Congrats on Day 2![QUOTE]

40 yr old, retired from 20 yr drinking career - whiskey and beer daily

bernice07

I'm sorry you hurt so bad, it will be o.k., Take 5 minutes at a time, just five minutes and breathe, read or just look outside and pray. Every minute seems like an eternity, I know but just take it slow and get some great books, they help keep your mind occupied and inspire you to make it, and you can, make it