Being alone, trigger?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Leeds
Posts: 8
Being alone, trigger?
Going back over things. I know for a fact that being alone or the prospect of being on my own even for a night is one massive trigger for me.
If I know I will be on my own for a period I get the butterflies in my stomach and thoughts about drinking. As good as my life is going these triggers always trip me up at some point even if I haven't thought about drinking for months I'm stopping and picking up booze and the whole thing starts again.
The cycle continues..
Anyone else get that?
If I know I will be on my own for a period I get the butterflies in my stomach and thoughts about drinking. As good as my life is going these triggers always trip me up at some point even if I haven't thought about drinking for months I'm stopping and picking up booze and the whole thing starts again.
The cycle continues..
Anyone else get that?
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Yeap, majority of my drinking was on my own, I now can be on my own but there are times when I'll still be driving home from work and feel a craving,.
I now rather than sitting in, upon arriving home, head straight out for a long walk in the fresh air with my ipod for some music!! . . . it generally passes by the time I get back!! . . . also works up a bit of an appetite too, which then passes some more of the evening, through cooking, before bed!!
You gotta break the cycle somehow, doing what we usually do will lead to the same result without fail, changing things up and the pattern of life can reap a different conclusion!!
I now rather than sitting in, upon arriving home, head straight out for a long walk in the fresh air with my ipod for some music!! . . . it generally passes by the time I get back!! . . . also works up a bit of an appetite too, which then passes some more of the evening, through cooking, before bed!!
You gotta break the cycle somehow, doing what we usually do will lead to the same result without fail, changing things up and the pattern of life can reap a different conclusion!!
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 64
Being/feeling alone is definitely a trigger for me. Where I moved to and have lived for 9 months, the social circle I developed here largely revolves around the restaurant/bar scene (everyone's in the business) and, subsequently, drinking. Since deciding to not drink as much (if at all), I have been/felt really isolated, both physically by staying in and emotionally because I don't feel I have any real friends here (sans maybe 1 or 2). My real life closest friends are nowhere nearby, so I find myself turning to the online world/community for a feeling of connectedness.
On the flipside, the notion of being with someone alone at home (especially someone I am interested in) when I am having a hard time is equally as anxiety-inducing and contributes to the isolation. I don't want to be around anyone when I am in a bad/anxious mood. I almost feel like I don't know what to do with someone or myself spending time at home, alone, and only with that person. Hello intimacy issues haha.
On the flipside, the notion of being with someone alone at home (especially someone I am interested in) when I am having a hard time is equally as anxiety-inducing and contributes to the isolation. I don't want to be around anyone when I am in a bad/anxious mood. I almost feel like I don't know what to do with someone or myself spending time at home, alone, and only with that person. Hello intimacy issues haha.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Leeds
Posts: 8
Its like I know whats going to happen and I have an idea what to do but in the heat of the moment it all goes out of the window. Its like training for a fight or learning exercises in music lessons, once the band starts and you freeze/panic you forget all those things you were certain you'd be able to do.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
yes..... in fact, one of the worst times for me was Friday nights when my kids went back to their Mom for her week with them....
A big dark pit of emptiness and grief would settle in and being alone felt all the more alone - even when I wasn't alone at all.
It seems to be a pretty universal commonality that we have emotions and issues and things that surface in solitude from which we are seeking to escape or bring relief with booze.
When we begin to understand, confront and work on processing those things, alone time actually begins to be quite healthy, nurturing and rewarding.
It won't always be that way if you work your sobriety.
A big dark pit of emptiness and grief would settle in and being alone felt all the more alone - even when I wasn't alone at all.
It seems to be a pretty universal commonality that we have emotions and issues and things that surface in solitude from which we are seeking to escape or bring relief with booze.
When we begin to understand, confront and work on processing those things, alone time actually begins to be quite healthy, nurturing and rewarding.
It won't always be that way if you work your sobriety.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Whitehaven Cumbria
Posts: 2
Being alone isn't the problem, its your frame of mind, do you need a drink more when you are alone, and when you are going back to that place where you feel alone?
I stopped smoking, but smoke in the toilet at home because i'm ashamed to admit i smoke, but i get up every day go to work for 10 hours without smoking, but as soon as I go home i need a smoke so sneak into the toilet so nobody can smell my guilt.
I stopped smoking, but smoke in the toilet at home because i'm ashamed to admit i smoke, but i get up every day go to work for 10 hours without smoking, but as soon as I go home i need a smoke so sneak into the toilet so nobody can smell my guilt.
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: London
Posts: 369
I am currently home alone until Sunday and had a massive hankering for a drink earlier this evening. It's passed now but I totally get what you mean about being alone and how it can be triggering. Unfortunately it's one of those hurdles in recovery we have to get used to at some point otherwise , as you said, the cycle will continue.....
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,385
Hi and welcome Switchesnash 
I'm not sure whether it's a trigger for you because it's an opportunity or because you don't like being alone...
I never liked being along cos I was not my greatest fan - I got a lot of my self worth by hanging out with others.
It was rough for a while, but I gradually got to know myself and to feel comfortable in my own company. I have no worries with being alone now
If it's still hard for you right now, remember we're always here - there's no need for you to be alone
D
I'm not sure whether it's a trigger for you because it's an opportunity or because you don't like being alone...
I never liked being along cos I was not my greatest fan - I got a lot of my self worth by hanging out with others.
It was rough for a while, but I gradually got to know myself and to feel comfortable in my own company. I have no worries with being alone now
If it's still hard for you right now, remember we're always here - there's no need for you to be alone
D
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: PA
Posts: 695
Actually, I am the exact opposite. I love being alone. I think it stems from my childhood. I come from a very large family who lived in a very small house. So now that I am an adult, when I have my house to myself, I am in heaven!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Leeds
Posts: 8
Originally Posted by Dee74 
Hi and welcome Switchesnash
I'm not sure whether it's a trigger for you because it's an opportunity or because you don't like being alone...
I never liked being along cos I was not my greatest fan - I got a lot of my self worth by hanging out with others.
It was rough for a while, but I gradually got to know myself and to feel comfortable in my own company. I have no worries with being alone now
If it's still hard for you right now, remember we're always here - there's no need for you to be alone
D
I'm not sure whether it's a trigger for you because it's an opportunity or because you don't like being alone...
I never liked being along cos I was not my greatest fan - I got a lot of my self worth by hanging out with others.
It was rough for a while, but I gradually got to know myself and to feel comfortable in my own company. I have no worries with being alone now
If it's still hard for you right now, remember we're always here - there's no need for you to be alone
D
That has really got me thinking. Thanks for the reply
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