Acceptance
instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
There is a slight variation in embracing sobriety unconditionally.
The unconditional part is important. There is always the part of me that wants a drink. I accept it is there, but it can be persistent and patient
The unconditional part is important. There is always the part of me that wants a drink. I accept it is there, but it can be persistent and patient
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Center of Mass
Posts: 622
That acceptance is such a huge step. It's down in the core, no question. Realizing that drugs (including alcohol) don't make us well but instead mask our pain is part of becoming whole. Thank you for posting.
Closing the gates of Oblivion
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: OK, USA
Posts: 273
Like being between a rock and a hard place. Except, then you realize that you have the power and capability to move that rock out of the way and get out.
Sobriety is yours for the taking!
Sobriety is yours for the taking!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,431
Before I accepted what I am I was trying to climb a steep rocky hill backwards...
after I accepted the reality of myself and my life, the road got a lot less steep and less rocky...and I turned myself around so I could see where I was going.
You can too Liss
D
after I accepted the reality of myself and my life, the road got a lot less steep and less rocky...and I turned myself around so I could see where I was going.
You can too Liss
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,480
Originally Posted by least 
I had to accept that drinking was no longer an option for me. When I was able to do that, when I wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink, then I could stay sober.
I fought for so long to keep something in my life that was slowly killing me, and then the time came where I stopped fighting; I surrendered. It was the first real peace I have ever known in my life.
Love you so much liss. ♥
V xx
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,031
Originally Posted by venuscat
That is how it was for me as well. I fought for so long to keep something in my life that was slowly killing me, and then the time came where I stopped fighting; I surrendered. It was the first real peace I have ever known in my life. Love you so much liss. ♥ V xx
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
Acceptance is key but it can be more complicated than it first appears. I have grown to believe that acceptance is a process, not a decision or single event. It can be like a hard rain falling on rocky ground; most of it runs off before it gets a chance to soak in. Acceptance seems to reach me in waves, little by little in small incremental steps. And just when I think I'm completely there I find there's farther to go.
I have made my Big Plan, and I know intellectually that I can't ever drink any amount ever again. If I do I'm 100% certain I'll fall back into my old routine, and it will probably be worse. But for all that I occasionally fantasize in front the wine display, and sometimes that sneaky old AV/Beast will say c'mon, how realistic is it that you're never gonna go back to the wine again? All I can do at that point is to remind myself that I'm making that decision, not my Beast.
The part of acceptance that I'm struggling with now is accepting that I must finally take some steps to live as a grownup!
In some ways being drunk daily for decades had me in a state of permanent adolescence; I made no important decisions, entered few meaningful relationships and avoided any meaningful examination of the future. Now, it would seem the future is already here.
I have made my Big Plan, and I know intellectually that I can't ever drink any amount ever again. If I do I'm 100% certain I'll fall back into my old routine, and it will probably be worse. But for all that I occasionally fantasize in front the wine display, and sometimes that sneaky old AV/Beast will say c'mon, how realistic is it that you're never gonna go back to the wine again? All I can do at that point is to remind myself that I'm making that decision, not my Beast.
The part of acceptance that I'm struggling with now is accepting that I must finally take some steps to live as a grownup!
In some ways being drunk daily for decades had me in a state of permanent adolescence; I made no important decisions, entered few meaningful relationships and avoided any meaningful examination of the future. Now, it would seem the future is already here.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,467
Interesting and enlightening words written here, Im on day three so still mentally battered but I still desperately want a sober life. After nearly four months sober before my last slip Ive realized wanting it and living it are two different things, a part of me however small 'wanted' to drink more than i wanted to be sober. I have a lot of soul searching to do and I hope and pray we can both do this liss. Wish you all the best my friend. Lx
Mini Novel Post Writer
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
Acceptance is important but even more important is unconditional acceptance.
Working towards sobriety is not unconditional. It leaves the door open and as long as that's the case the AV will always have it's foot in there so you can't close it.
There can be no acceptable excuses. It's that decision that brings tremendous relief.
Working towards sobriety is not unconditional. It leaves the door open and as long as that's the case the AV will always have it's foot in there so you can't close it.
There can be no acceptable excuses. It's that decision that brings tremendous relief.
No quitting on yer quit eh!
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 3,874
Well liss, from 7:54pm till 11:36pm, you made over 3 hours sober on a Saturday night, now just to make 4, 5, 6, 7 etc etc. You know you can do it, you did it before, you just need to come to terms with how satisfying life can be without drinking! We're all here for you, keep coming back!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,031
1step we can do this I just know it in my heart I have fallen to many times , now it's time to live life a sober life. I have taken something from each slip relapse I am truly alcoholic I have done a lot of research now I believe it with all my heart, we deserve a sober life full of goodness this exsisting is so painful xxx
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