gettingbetter64

I'm only on day 13 which I have been at many times before. I have the opportunity to go on a cruise in two weeks which I know there will be a lot of alcohol there. I also am going to go to a club next weekend for a friends birthday she already told me she just wants to get kind of tipsy she doesn't know I've been trying to get sober. I don't want to miss out on certain things because of my sobriety. Should I not go to either one? I really am unsure of what to do, I keep on telling myself I don't need alcohol to have fun and I would rather remember both experiences and be sober and present. How has everyone else turned down temptations?

PurpleKnight

Well it's either a case of telling those that you are going with your not going to be drinking, so that they know and don't offer drinks or assume your drinking, you need to be upfront in social situations when it comes to friends, as it's easier turning down a stranger than a friend you have always drank with.

Or the alternative is not going (the party anyways), either way you don't want to find yourself in a situation where you feel pressured to drink, that will never end well!!

gettingbetter64

I think I'm going to just say I'm not going to be drinking,I'm not going to explain why or that I'm trying to be sober,I'm not ready to do that.

Jill23

It really depends, getting better. I've been out twice in my 27 days sober and not had a problem either time. I told my friends I wasn't drinking and they were very supportive. If you think you can resist temptation, go for it. I know I didn't want to give up fun times just because alcohol would be there. What I did do was have an exit strategy. I know that would be hard on a cruise, but if it gets to be too much, you could retreat to your cabin and have some contemplation time or call a suppotive friend or if there is internet access, get on SR. If you are really serious and committed to your sobriety, you should be able to do it. At least, that has been my experience so far. I don't want to let myself or my support group down, so even in the face of temptation, I have remained strong. Good luck on whatever decision you make.

Ruby2

When I was really early in sobriety I avoided all situations involving alcohol. Took a pass. I am still pretty early in sobriety and still am cautious about alcohol related situations. If you think you are going to be tempted and you are serious about getting sober, why put yourself in a position which may or will cause pain? If you didn't pay for the cruise, maybe take a pas this time? The birthday party you know will involve alcohol. Go early and leave early? Take your friend out for lunch?

As time goes in and you get stronger in your sobriety you will be able to take these situations in stride. It takes practice. Why tempt yourself this early?

aasharon90

In recovery I had to use the saying,

First Things First

and apply it to any situation in my life
that was questionable to my sobriety.

Many situation will come again, happen
again in my life and if I am putting my
recovery first for awhile till Im strong
enough to try them again, then i'll wait
till later. Meaning, if there will be other
cruises to experience later in my life,
then i'll work on my sobriety first and
formost which is extremely important
to myself and well being.

There will always be many things in life
I can enjoy or experience, but doubt I
have another chance in me to get sober
again because I tried so many times to
control my drinking at one time in my
life, entered recovery 23 yrs ago, and
for me to pick up a drink today, let's
just say, one drink will never be enough
to satisfy my craving or addiction to it
in the entire world.

Ive put off a many things to put my
recovery first, so that I can enjoy many
things over the yrs. sober and will ccontinue
to do so.

Take care of yourself and what's more
important to you and ur life today
so that you can experience many
more sober days and events down
the road.

ReadyAtLast

I wouldn't have gone to a club with drinking friends in early sobriety. For me, clubs are for drinking and if I'm not drinking I'll be pretty annoyed as would want to drink and wouldn't enjoy the night. Early sobriety is about getting through it, not putting myself in difficult situations. It's hard enough as it is without making it harder

The cruise-not sure. Is it a holiday with a loved one /low drinker or a girly/guy jaunt which will probably be full of booze? You know what type of holiday it will be and whether it is worth putting yourself in that position,

Nothing is worth losing your sobriety over imo. I had to turn down tempting situations because honestly the only thing tempting me was alcohol

If you keep doing the same things and going to drinking events then it will continue to happen many more times. Stopping drinking isn't just about putting the booze down,it's making life changes over time

Forghetti35

If u r serious about quitting forever, I'd be careful if I were u in high risk situations. You r in the early phases of sobriety. Be careful of the voice of addiction trying to rationalize your appearance at high risk events. Good luck!

MidnightBlue

Hi, gettingbetter) Congrats on your 13 days!


I'd rather say that sobriety will give you just tons of opportunities if you give it a chance to grow stronger and mature.

In my early sobriety I avoided such straightforward temptations, even literally ran through a supermarket not to be tempted by wine aisles.

Back then I would never believe that there will be time when I can just stare at a bottle of wine and not be triggered by it. And wine was my poison of choice. Or when I am having a dinner in a nice restaurant with a friend of mine, who is drinking wine and then my ex-fav Irish coffee and I don't care about this at all. Or that I will ever have fun celebrating New Year and my birthday without Champaigne...

It is not your last cruise, or party. There will be always some party coming, some holiday approaching, or something else to celebrate.

Your sobriety is fragile and vulnerable now, like a baby - protect it my any means necessary. And later it will surely protect you.

I may be missed some parties during these 500 days, but take my word, it was worth it.


Stay strong and look at it as not as restriction, but rather as gaining your freedom, real freedom back.

Best wishes to you)

least

If you go to the party you can come late and leave early. The cruise, not so much. I'd pass on the cruise if it were me. Don't think I was strong enough at two weeks sober to deal with that sort of 'stimulation'. If you do go, I hope you can find the strength to stay sober.

gettingbetter64

Thank you for all the responses I'm still undecided about both events,the club is the least of my concern I'm more worried about being on a boat and not being able to leave and being surround by drinking even though it's just for a few days. I really want to go on the cruise because a change of scenery would be nice. I feel like I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't.

aasharon90

I go with my gut feeling. Not my head.
My gut, deep within me, knowing that
the decision I make, even if I shouldn't
do it or I may not like it, but will be
better for me in the long run.

Anna

I wouldn't have been able to do either of those things in the first two weeks of recovery. I would have been resentful and miserable, at best.

Give yourself some time.

Mountainmanbob

in early sobriety I would not go to either
but
usually we drunks are not good at taking direction

yes - for I will be much smarter than the average recovering one

Mountainman

EndGameNYC

I wouldn't have attended either event during at least my first year of sobriety after a three-year relapse. Wouldn't even meet someone where alcohol is served. I wanted to drink, was obsessed with drinking, much of the time, but I really didn't want the horror show that comes with it.

Dee74

I didn't want either. That kept me drinking.

I dunno about you but much of my life and all of my friendships revolved around drinking by the end.

I was trying to stay sober in a life geared to getting wasted.

I needed to change my life gettingbetter - and that meant a few tough decisions.

You're not missing out of life by not going on a booze cruise or a wasted weekend...there's hundreds of those over a life time...but you will be missing out on life if you continue to drink, I think.

Give yourself a chance to build some 'sobriety muscles'...in a few months, once you feel secure in your recovery, if you still want to go to such things then you can...

D

seeks

For celebrations/parties I offer to be the designated driver these day or go early and leave early. I noticed I get bored talking to people once they start getting drunk so I leave. Booze cruise? I couldn't do it. I haven't developed the "sobriety muscles" as Dee put it. Best of luck!

jakec

It's up to you.

Do you honestly think that you can go to these events without picking up?

If not, are you willing to go to any lengths to stay sober? There will be plenty of opportunities for social gatherings in the future when you're more stable in your recovery.

gettingbetter64

I think it would be best for me to turn down the cruise I feel like I would do good for a day or two then eventually give in. It's not worth it, at least with the club I can sip on water or coke and no one would really question it.

LadyinBC

I don't go anywhere unless I have a plan in case I need to leave asap. If I don't have an out, I don't go. Simple.

No event or place should be more important than my sobriety.

Sometimes we really need to look at why we think it is okay to put ourselves in these kinds of situations so early in sobriety. I really think it is something that one really has to think about. I personally did it so that it would give me an excuse to screw up again. Not saying that is what your doing. It's definitely something that I did because I had a hard time realizing that I needed to change things. Things couldn't stay the same.