lawyerjef

My first post. My last drink - March 29, 2013. Anybody else finding out that their former so-called "friends" consider you now to be an over-bearing bore?

ScottFromWI

I think what you are actually finding out is that some of your old friends were not really friends, they were merely drinking companions. Happens to almost all of us, and it is not always easy to accept. If they cannot accept your new lifestyle then they most likely aren't really friends you need anyway.

ReadyAtLast

Scott's right.they are just drinking buddies who are annoyed that you don't drink anymore and maybe realizing they have a problem too.

The only really boring thing is people who drink,drink and do nothing else but drink.
Your life is opening up for a whole world of new possibilites and adventures sober and there's nothing boring about that

Raider

Congrats on your sobriety. That's wonderful

MIRecovery

The last person heavy drinkers want to hang out with is an ex drinker. This is a huge threat to their drinking.

My advice is bid them a fond a do. Their lives are theirs and you are building a new healthy life

jackrussell

My first post, too. My friends are generally pretty well-balanced and generous, so I haven't had that problem yet. 11 days for me. So far, no real challenges, but I know from much past experience that the bottom can drop out any time, and very quickly. I get good energy from reading many of these thoughts and posts.

KateL

Not my real friends xxxxx

SeaScape

My definition of friends has changed - and continues to change as I do

lawyerjef

The only reason I can remember "11 days" is because I was sober, and in rehab at High Watch Recovery Center. I owe my life to that place, and there I'll always have friends.

least

Welcome lawyerJef and Jackrussell. I'm glad you both joined us.

lawyerjef

Thanks for the warm welcome. Least, I love your slogan. I have two dogs and two cats. Never was much of a cat guy, but after these two, I'm in cat recovery. Of course, when I hit my rock bottom (near death), my oldest dog, Cally, was the only friend I had left.

Dee74

Hi and welcome Lawyerjef - Congrats on your near year...

Like others have said, most of my friends by the end were drinking buddies. I think just by the act of giving up drinking, I offended them...

I also seem to remember I was a little bit evangelical in my fervour for sobriety... yikes LOL.

Have you made any new sober friends in the last year Jef?

D

lawyerjef

Dee74, I've made a few new friends. Perhaps not as many as I'd like. On the other hand, I've rekindled friendships with life-long buddies with whom I'd completely lost touch. You know, the kind that help you move. Surprise, surprise, a few of them are recovering alcoholics.

Anna

It sounds like you're doing well, lawyerjef and figuring out the 'friend' thing, too. I have less friends now, but the friends I have are amazing.

lawyerjef

Thanks, again, to all. Considering where I was, and where I am today, it's nothing short of a miracle. I don't always follow the AA path, but I don't drink, and try not to think. That's the best advise I ever received from my sponsor. I'm glad I found this website.

LadyBlue0527

I think that was one of the hardest parts of sobriety for me. I had willfully surrounded myself with people who had the same problem I did so that I didn't need to worry about accountability. I think that an awakening moment for me was when I began to do things that even gave them cause to pause. The thought of losing those friendships was tough. Both of them tried to put a good face on it and stay in contact but the contact dwindled more and more as time went by.

Over-bearing bore? Not at all, we make them uncomfortable.

The best part of all of this? I now have friends who want to hang out with the real me and have real conversations that have merit. As much as the alcoholic haze made me believe how close my drinking buds were it was never about friendship, it was all about the drinking. Nothing more.

Glad to be rid of it!

caboblanco

Former friends....seems more like former drink dummy stand ins

LadyBlue0527

Indeed, we didn't really care about them either, did we? It was a person to drink with to have shallow, fake, conversation with while we poured the drinks down. It's funny, I'm far enough out to realize that where I previously would hold my head up and say that we were connecting, no we weren't. We were drinking. The words were secondary.

GreenEggsAndHam

Unfortunately I'm so far gone that I've lost almost all of my friends due to my being a complete ahole when I drink. Hoping to make new sober friends one day when I'm not as crazy in my head.

Brian316

Well, I don't know if I'm an overbearing bore lol, but I do have former associates that seem to only want to hang out if it's to drink and party. For me, I've been able to keep busy enough in sobriety that it hasn't bothered me yet.