AuntieSoso

I'm trying to understand the difference between being an enabler and being a co-dependent. Could you share your own definition of what the words mean to you?

I'm also really struggling with compassion vs. a kick in the pants. I guess it is a control issue for me in wanting to control others' behavior. How do you hold a feeling/sentiment of compassion for someone when you really want to tell them to get their **** together? How can I improve myself here? Am I supposed to not care about someone, or not be disappointed when they make the same mistakes over and over again, or have bad behavior and get away with it or just take up too much of my mental energy?

How do I distance myself from the situation without hiding out in my house forever and ever? I really try to not get involved with people on too deep of a level because I don't want to be pulled into their story and dysfunction - I have few "real" friends because of this, although plenty of friendly relationships.

Is this part of a "step" that I would learn about if I went to AA? Any suggestions or books or stories that would help me?

least

To understand those terms I think an AlAnon meeting would be more helpful than AA.