Stress Relief
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 196
Stress Relief
Here I am sitting at my desk and I can feel my calm spiraling out of control yet again. I'm post surgery for my knee and things seem to be going well but I'm not allowed to do anything besides walking which doesn't burn enough steam as my life has me walking 10-14 hours a day as is. I can't get out and enjoy the sun thanks to Mr. Polar Vortex. My boyfriend has done a soft move in which is going great for everyone but our dogs. One of mine is very hyper and his is apparently very concerned with her (we brought in a professional after one situation to make sure it was done right). I realize that it may not take long for them to adjust and have a peaceable house with the new rules.
However, because of how I grew up with so much stress I have always worked very hard to keep my home stress free, and my dogs are a remarkably large portion of that. Things are going well but we have to constantly watch them to assure only good interactions.
Basically I'm exhausted as I start to pick up more hours at work to pay off old bills, when I used to pay everything on time. My full relaxation mode is temporarily on hold, and I'm unable to truly burn off the excess energy.
Today I realized that I am definitely doing an ACOA spiral because I am not feeling sufficiently safe to completely relax which for me is very important otherwise I overcompensate and start to try and control everything to get there.
My boyfriend was very understanding and has asked if he could take the two trouble dogs for a VERY VERY LONG outing this evening to give me the house to myself to completely relax with my other two. That will be helpful but I know that if I can't remove this excess energy I will climb back to hyper stress in a few minutes. I am going to attempt a full upper-body workout to blow-off as much steam as humanly possible this afternoon. However I'm looking for some serious assistance on helping to calm and keep calm.
Also, if the advice is to remove the boyfriend and the dog, please don't, we are very happy as a couple and the dog is as important to him as mine are to me, to be a happy family this is something we will eventually have to do, all that would do is delay the inevitable and keep stress in the back of my mind. I'm only attempting to solve the problem of a flare-up of my stress before there is a problem, he is remarkably understanding but I do acknowledge this is my own issue he can help me mitigate some by assisting my relaxation but I must take responsibility and control of me and be able to handle this stress in a positive manner.
However, because of how I grew up with so much stress I have always worked very hard to keep my home stress free, and my dogs are a remarkably large portion of that. Things are going well but we have to constantly watch them to assure only good interactions.
Basically I'm exhausted as I start to pick up more hours at work to pay off old bills, when I used to pay everything on time. My full relaxation mode is temporarily on hold, and I'm unable to truly burn off the excess energy.
Today I realized that I am definitely doing an ACOA spiral because I am not feeling sufficiently safe to completely relax which for me is very important otherwise I overcompensate and start to try and control everything to get there.
My boyfriend was very understanding and has asked if he could take the two trouble dogs for a VERY VERY LONG outing this evening to give me the house to myself to completely relax with my other two. That will be helpful but I know that if I can't remove this excess energy I will climb back to hyper stress in a few minutes. I am going to attempt a full upper-body workout to blow-off as much steam as humanly possible this afternoon. However I'm looking for some serious assistance on helping to calm and keep calm.
Also, if the advice is to remove the boyfriend and the dog, please don't, we are very happy as a couple and the dog is as important to him as mine are to me, to be a happy family this is something we will eventually have to do, all that would do is delay the inevitable and keep stress in the back of my mind. I'm only attempting to solve the problem of a flare-up of my stress before there is a problem, he is remarkably understanding but I do acknowledge this is my own issue he can help me mitigate some by assisting my relaxation but I must take responsibility and control of me and be able to handle this stress in a positive manner.
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Hello there Payne 
I hear you, I totally relate to that tension that just feeds on itself. I have some serious health issues that keep me down and stuck in the house for days at a time. On one occassion I wound spending a whole month in a hospital. As a child my number one survival mechanism was to run away from home. Now, as an adult, I find that a road trip cures _all_ my emotional ills. Imagine that.
Being unable to run away, even if in the form of a road trip, escalates my tension levels worse than a nuclear reactor going into meltdown.
What works for me is a whole bunch of different things. Isometrics and yoga for starters. With my iPod blasting my fav music without bothering the neighbors. YouTube, just as a means to "turn off" the brain. Adventure books from the library, nothing intelligent, garbage really, but they serve as "potato chips" for the brain and keep it distracted. Juggling, no really, I really suck at it but it takes a lot of concentration. Highly detailed hobbies, I restore antique cameras, doesn't cost much but it takes a huge amount of time and total concentration to work with those tiny parts. When I get tired of that I think I'll do old mechanical pocket watches, or maybe Bonsai trees.
Basically, I am just distracting myself. I find that if I let my mind wander the desire to run away turns into a need, and soon into desperation. Forcing myself to focus on something else, _anything_ else, really does help.
If I get totally crazy then I turn to my last resort, which is to ask for help. As an ACoA, I'm not very good at that. I call a friend from one of my al-anon meets or ACoA meets and ask for a ride to a meet. That works wonders, and what's really cool is my friends _thank_ me for getting _them_ out of their house because they were also getting squirrely.
Mike
I hear you, I totally relate to that tension that just feeds on itself. I have some serious health issues that keep me down and stuck in the house for days at a time. On one occassion I wound spending a whole month in a hospital. As a child my number one survival mechanism was to run away from home. Now, as an adult, I find that a road trip cures _all_ my emotional ills. Imagine that.
Being unable to run away, even if in the form of a road trip, escalates my tension levels worse than a nuclear reactor going into meltdown.
What works for me is a whole bunch of different things. Isometrics and yoga for starters. With my iPod blasting my fav music without bothering the neighbors. YouTube, just as a means to "turn off" the brain. Adventure books from the library, nothing intelligent, garbage really, but they serve as "potato chips" for the brain and keep it distracted. Juggling, no really, I really suck at it but it takes a lot of concentration. Highly detailed hobbies, I restore antique cameras, doesn't cost much but it takes a huge amount of time and total concentration to work with those tiny parts. When I get tired of that I think I'll do old mechanical pocket watches, or maybe Bonsai trees.
Basically, I am just distracting myself. I find that if I let my mind wander the desire to run away turns into a need, and soon into desperation. Forcing myself to focus on something else, _anything_ else, really does help.
If I get totally crazy then I turn to my last resort, which is to ask for help. As an ACoA, I'm not very good at that. I call a friend from one of my al-anon meets or ACoA meets and ask for a ride to a meet. That works wonders, and what's really cool is my friends _thank_ me for getting _them_ out of their house because they were also getting squirrely.
Mike
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 196
Last night I got home, my dog was in the kennel because they didn't want to deal with it, I had just worked a 14 hour day, my whole body hurt. So I made an expresso, said not a word to my roommate or boyfriend and walked into the pet room with a box of treats, calmly placed up a baby gate to keep the other dogs out and focused on a difficult trick for me and my hyper dog. We struggled and laughed together (yes you can laugh with your dog) and went through half a box of treats. It gave me something to focus on and with my goofy dog there it forced me to relax in order to accomplish what I needed to do. I then let the dog out to spend time and read a book. I'm still pretty twitchy today but the urgency is gone, and I'm hoping a few more days similar to that will help take some of the edge off. Hopefully on March 14th my surgeon will allow me to do SOMETHING more than I am.
Thank you very much DesertEyes, it's always wonderful to be reminded that my responses while maybe no what I want are appropriate to feel until they get fixed. Thank you.
Thank you very much DesertEyes, it's always wonderful to be reminded that my responses while maybe no what I want are appropriate to feel until they get fixed. Thank you.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,437
Hope you are well soon Payne. I am soon having my knees done, not looking forward to that confinement feeling either.
Road trip! Love them. I can drive 250 miles and then home again in a day trip. Love driving, somehow it just clears the mind. Distraction is great. When I can't get a road trip in I get on google maps and "walk" through Hawaii or Paris when I am stressed.
Road trip! Love them. I can drive 250 miles and then home again in a day trip. Love driving, somehow it just clears the mind. Distraction is great. When I can't get a road trip in I get on google maps and "walk" through Hawaii or Paris when I am stressed.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 196
That's an awesome idea Kailua. I'm currently way to broke to.buy gas I don't NEED that may help. After a few days I feel all we have accomplished is my beautiful.sweet hyper dog looks dejected.and barely comes into the livingroom because everytime she does he growls and.we yell at him. My nervous energy has gotten me to lose nearly 14 lbs since Wednesday (not necessarily sad I have 75 to lose) but this morning I chose to "sleep in" in my bedroom with my girls a little longer than.necessary.
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