rry1177

I told him on Feb 10 that it wasn't working out. He agreed and told me not to blame myself. Since he only gets paid once a month, I told him he could stay until end of month. Last few days, I haven't seen much packing going on. I told him today that I don't want this to drag on. We're very cordial to each other and he's not openly belligerent, but I feel he's testing me to see if I will really make him leave at month end. This situation is hard enough and he pulls this crap. I don't want to be too b*tchy about it, because I have to go to work and he's here all day with my stuff. This has to end and I really hate passive aggressiveness. How many ways can you say this is over?? I am so tired right now.

CodeJob

Well rry1177, at least it is not a leap year! Hope he is just one of those people who move without ever packing...

FeelingGreat

Hi, I suppose if you don't want to be too confrontational, you can only repeat calmly that he must be gone by month's end. If he's testing you, then confirming it again should get through to him.
Worst case? You might have to change the locks, pack up his stuff and leave it outside. Hope it doesn't come to that; who needs the extra expense?

Seren

Yes, he's hoping if he ignores it, you will forget about it. It sounds like denial...

I hope you have a plan in place for the end of the month! If your boyfriend is anything like my stepson, he will do things to extend his stay as long as possible so that he won't actually have to make the effort himself to find, well, other accomodations.

Is your home or apartment in your name only or is his name on the lease? And do you know what the tenant laws are like where you live? I'm not trying to be a 'Debbie Downer', but in my state, my husband had to provide his son with 30-days written notice to vacate and file that notice with the local magistrate. That way, if his son got ugly or refused to leave on moving day, my husband could call the police for assistance. I hope this is not the case for you!!

Hang in there! The month ends very soon!!

Recovering2

I think he's testing your boundary. I would probably remind him that tomorrow is the end of the month, and per your discussion on February 10th, he needs to have other living arrangements. May even want to bring home some boxes to get him started. Be prepared to change your locks. If he gets mad, remember it's perfectly okay for him to have his reaction. Doesn't mean it changes your decision.
Good Luck!

Kayak

this is coming from the landlord in me not the recovering alcoholic. check you local laws on evicting a person from your home. in some states it is against the law to change locks and put stuff out without a paper from court. these laws vary state to state and depends on the type and time of tenancy. not following the law will just add drama. you might even want to get a friend to hangout at your house while your at work as these events unfold.

i would call police, housing authority or lawyer today or tomorrow to explain local laws. it better then having them explained by a judge.

stay strong and focused

KK

choublak

Did this actually happen? I'm curious.

rry1177

Oh wow I didn't think about this and I have no plan B. Well, we have occupancy permits where I live and he is not on it. He's not here right now, so I hope he's making progress. I'd even give him some cash for his deposit or something right now. It's hard to deal with a breakup when they're still in the house. Thanks for all of your support.

Seren

I really don't know how to advise you, rry1177, because the laws in your area may be different. It might be wise to go to the library or get on the internet and do a little research. Being prepared is the best way to end this with as little drama as possible.

FeelingGreat

rry1177, he sounds pretty slack. I hope it's just laziness and you don't have to resort to the law, or give him money.
He's previously agreed to leave, make him stick to it.