horriblethisis

This is our third break up in seven months (I know, I am crazy). However, it has taken me some time to figure things out. He and I don't live together, so I was not always with him. He made me think that he "didn't" have a problem, and that his drinking is "normal". So, my goal was to figure it out for myself. We had a conversation Sunday about how his excessive drinking really bothers me. He told me he understood and respected my feelings. The very next night , I had a gut feeling and showed up unannounced to find him passed out on the couch in the dark at 7:00 pm. He told me he only drank 4 glasses of wine (ya right)....I had been doing an "analysis" for the last seven days of how much he drank (and this is what I know for sure)...meaning he may or may not have drank more. Seven days equaled: 20 cans of beer, 1/4 of a half gallon of scotch, and 10 glasses of wine. Now, I am no expert here on alcoholism (just opiate addiction)...so, would you tell me if that is a lot to consume in one week...he says it's not.

SparkleKitty

You don't need to quantify his intake to see that this is obviously a problem for you.

That is the only thing you need to know.

FeelingGreat

Hi, I'd go with your gut instinct on this. Normal healthy drinkers aren't usually passed out on the couch on their own at 7pm.
He's a heavy drinker, he's in denial, and it's a problem for you. It probably won't spontaneously improve so moving on might be the best choice.

spiderqueen

He almost certainly did drink more, and if he didn't this week, he will next week. That's the way this cookie crumbles.

I'm so sorry you are still in the ugly throes of "figuring" this stuff out. I remember those days, when I was counting and frantically trying to make things add up, and listening to his minimizing and excusing, because I so desperately wanted it to be manageable. But it wasn't.

I hope you continue to stay away, and get help for yourself, and imagine a day when you are permanently free of the insanity of trying to make logical sense of addiction. It's an equation that never adds up.

AnvilheadII

you two have incompatible lifestyle choices. it's that simple! I bet you have a lot better ways to occupy your time than to try and deduce how much someone has had to drink? that's like calculating somebody else's calorie intake.

3 breakups in 7 months really says it all. let this be the last one!

BlueSkies1

You are not ok with how much he drinks. He's quite fine with it, and he's not going to come around and see things your way.
He's ok with it! He likes it! He likes to get hammered and pass out on the couch! We watch and think, oh, they couldn't possibly be enjoying that...ummm...YES THEY DO.

His drinking bothers YOU.
His drinking doesn't bother him at all, in fact, he prefers it.

Let that soak in. That's the type of thing that might help you find that support within yourself to stay away.