I Knew It!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 976
I Knew It!!
You know that nagging feeling in the pit of your stomach. It's telling you something isn't right but you just can't put your finger on what it may be. I've had that feeling for 2 days and now I know why...
I came home from work today and guess whose truck isn't in the driveway. Shortly after, I received a text from "R"AH stating I drank today. There was just something off about him for the last 2 days. I asked him if something was wrong, but he just said no.
But here's the kicker. He's been on Antabuse for the past 5 months. Last week he high fived me all proud of himself for hitting the 5 month mark. I of coursed chimed in and told him I was proud of and happy for him. Asked if he was still taking his rx and he told me yes, every few days (it's a pretty expensive med). It supposedly takes up to 2 weeks for this medication to leave your system, and it will make you sick if you drink while taking it. Soooooo, how is it that he was able to drink and is not sick? He flipping lied to me!
Although I'm obviously not happy about the relapse, I am furious about being lied to. This is just unacceptable. I know he's lied to me when he's drinking, not cool, but I expect it, but this was a stone cold sober lie. Straight faced sober lie. I was just starting to feel like trust was coming back between us. I'm just so crushed.
And to make it even better, tomorrow is my birthday. Yep, he's managed to ruin yet another special day for me. Alcohol just sucks.
I don't really expect anyone to come along with all the answer to this, I just needed to vent to people who get it.
Thanks guys for always being there.
I came home from work today and guess whose truck isn't in the driveway. Shortly after, I received a text from "R"AH stating I drank today. There was just something off about him for the last 2 days. I asked him if something was wrong, but he just said no.
But here's the kicker. He's been on Antabuse for the past 5 months. Last week he high fived me all proud of himself for hitting the 5 month mark. I of coursed chimed in and told him I was proud of and happy for him. Asked if he was still taking his rx and he told me yes, every few days (it's a pretty expensive med). It supposedly takes up to 2 weeks for this medication to leave your system, and it will make you sick if you drink while taking it. Soooooo, how is it that he was able to drink and is not sick? He flipping lied to me!
Although I'm obviously not happy about the relapse, I am furious about being lied to. This is just unacceptable. I know he's lied to me when he's drinking, not cool, but I expect it, but this was a stone cold sober lie. Straight faced sober lie. I was just starting to feel like trust was coming back between us. I'm just so crushed.
And to make it even better, tomorrow is my birthday. Yep, he's managed to ruin yet another special day for me. Alcohol just sucks.
I don't really expect anyone to come along with all the answer to this, I just needed to vent to people who get it.
Thanks guys for always being there.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,582
Originally Posted by HopefulinFLA 
You know that nagging feeling in the pit of your stomach. It's telling you something isn't right but you just can't put your finger on what it may be. I've had that feeling for 2 days and now I know why...
I came home from work today and guess whose truck isn't in the driveway. Shortly after, I received a text from "R"AH stating I drank today. There was just something off about him for the last 2 days. I asked him if something was wrong, but he just said no.
But here's the kicker. He's been on Antabuse for the past 5 months. Last week he high fived me all proud of himself for hitting the 5 month mark. I of coursed chimed in and told him I was proud of and happy for him. Asked if he was still taking his rx and he told me yes, every few days (it's a pretty expensive med). It supposedly takes up to 2 weeks for this medication to leave your system, and it will make you sick if you drink while taking it. Soooooo, how is it that he was able to drink and is not sick? He flipping lied to me!
Although I'm obviously not happy about the relapse, I am furious about being lied to. This is just unacceptable. I know he's lied to me when he's drinking, not cool, but I expect it, but this was a stone cold sober lie. Straight faced sober lie. I was just starting to feel like trust was coming back between us. I'm just so crushed.
And to make it even better, tomorrow is my birthday. Yep, he's managed to ruin yet another special day for me. Alcohol just sucks.
I don't really expect anyone to come along with all the answer to this, I just needed to vent to people who get it.
Thanks guys for always being there.
I came home from work today and guess whose truck isn't in the driveway. Shortly after, I received a text from "R"AH stating I drank today. There was just something off about him for the last 2 days. I asked him if something was wrong, but he just said no.
But here's the kicker. He's been on Antabuse for the past 5 months. Last week he high fived me all proud of himself for hitting the 5 month mark. I of coursed chimed in and told him I was proud of and happy for him. Asked if he was still taking his rx and he told me yes, every few days (it's a pretty expensive med). It supposedly takes up to 2 weeks for this medication to leave your system, and it will make you sick if you drink while taking it. Soooooo, how is it that he was able to drink and is not sick? He flipping lied to me!
Although I'm obviously not happy about the relapse, I am furious about being lied to. This is just unacceptable. I know he's lied to me when he's drinking, not cool, but I expect it, but this was a stone cold sober lie. Straight faced sober lie. I was just starting to feel like trust was coming back between us. I'm just so crushed.
And to make it even better, tomorrow is my birthday. Yep, he's managed to ruin yet another special day for me. Alcohol just sucks.
I don't really expect anyone to come along with all the answer to this, I just needed to vent to people who get it.
Thanks guys for always being there.
You can control whether your birthday is ruined or not. If you have no expectations from him (I know its hard) he cannot mess it up. What are you going to do for yourself tomorrow? How will you celebrate? Dinner? Cake? Massage?
As far as being lied to when he is sober. Yep. They do it. I get it. One thing looking back that I see clearly now, is that "I" compartmentalized the ex's lying. I thought it only pertained to when he was drinking. Nope. Then I thought it was only about him or covering up drinking. Nope. They lie about EVERYTHING under the sun. Don't know why. But, if you can manage your expectations of him, maybe you will get hurt less.
Hugs!
Happy Birthday!!!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 565
Originally Posted by HopefulinFLA
Although I'm obviously not happy about the relapse, I am furious about being lied to. This is just unacceptable. I know he's lied to me when he's drinking, not cool, but I expect it, but this was a stone cold sober lie. Straight faced sober lie. I was just starting to feel like trust was coming back between us. I'm just so crushed.
BUT...weirdly, I don't think it's personal at all - it is simply the overwhelming compulsion to drink winning out over everything else. He would lie to God in that moment, a judge while under oath, his mother, his children, HIMSELF.
Time for detachment! And maybe time to re-evaluate how to get YOUR needs met.
I hope you have a peaceful, wonderful birthday.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: nh
Posts: 339
Sorry your feeling disapointed. Hopefully he got reminded that it does"t work anymore and gets back on the wagon. I am sure you know, but just forgot, that A"s lie, active or sober because that has become their way of life, and it takes a while of working a program to get "rigirous honesty". But thats his side of the street. You have to keep in mind that They dont do this stuff TO US...they do it TO THEMSELVES! So its your birthday...why do you feel like HE ruined it? Plan something that you will enjoy because that, my friend you can control! Recovery doesn"t happen over night for either side of the street, so the universe just handed you (both) an oportunity to work that program! So get on with what you can control and let him do whatever it his he decides to do...and believe me, been there done that for a year. As for my A, he finally "got" it and is really finally working that program and I am so happy for him! Remember...More will be revealed!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Nashua , MN
Posts: 27
As a recovering alcoholic and having been on anti-buse, I had done the same thing. No, I am certainly not proud of it but some people can use it and still drink a little. Talk about lying, he is lying to himself more than either of you know. I even went as far as switching out the med with aspirin, "oh yeah, I take it everyday" and I still drank everyday. Alcohol is cunning, baffling and powerful, we do ANYTHING to get it. I have been sober for 21 yrs and look back and see just how much damage I did to everyone around me. yes, alcohol sucks!!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Southern USA
Posts: 93
Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you!! You DESERVE to enjoy this day!
As far as the antibuse in concerned......my AH is on that as well. He actually admitted to me that he would plan to drink on a certain day that week and would purposely not take the antibuse several days prior to this. Crazy, I know!! Since I DO NOT monitor his medications any more, I had no idea.
It always amazes me what they will do to get their alcohol fix.
As far as the antibuse in concerned......my AH is on that as well. He actually admitted to me that he would plan to drink on a certain day that week and would purposely not take the antibuse several days prior to this. Crazy, I know!! Since I DO NOT monitor his medications any more, I had no idea.
It always amazes me what they will do to get their alcohol fix.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
I'm so sorry, I completely get it... RAH's relapse last fall was just before my 40th & it really sucked all the life out of celebrating.
I still made time for me & indulged myself as much as possible, so I hope you find a way to do the same for yourself today. Lunch with friends, a pedicure, a nap?
Happy birthday!
I still made time for me & indulged myself as much as possible, so I hope you find a way to do the same for yourself today. Lunch with friends, a pedicure, a nap?
Happy birthday!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
Although I'm obviously not happy about the relapse, I am furious about being lied to. This is just unacceptable. I know he's lied to me when he's drinking, not cool, but I expect it, but this was a stone cold sober lie. Straight faced sober lie.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
