Supervised visits it is

Old 02-24-2014, 01:04 PM
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Supervised visits it is

As some of you may know, I have been debating on going with supervised visits only with my ex SO, and father of my toddler.

Yesterday he visited. He was over an hour late. Toward the end of the 3 hour visit he was reading a book to our son. He started passing out during this. At noon. Ugh.

I cant trust him to be alone with him. My boy would not have a clue what to do if he passed out. He is only 19 months old and needs constant supervision.

Ex SO doesn't even seem mad about it. Not yet anyway. This sucks.
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Old 02-24-2014, 01:09 PM
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I am sorry. Tight Hugs.
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Old 02-24-2014, 02:09 PM
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I'm so sorry.
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Old 02-24-2014, 02:42 PM
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This is one of the very situation why supervised visits are necessary. It's not about you and it's not even about him...it's about what is best for your child and a 19 month old child can never safely be left with someone who is not responsible in every way.

Please don't feel guilty, you are doing the right thing. Yes, it's sad it has come to this but it is what it is and it's up to you to protect your child...and it sounds like you're doing a pretty good job of that.


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Old 02-24-2014, 02:50 PM
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I completely agree with the supervised visits. I wish I had done that with my son. If I had a choice (as a parent) of supervised visits or no visits at all......I would be very appreciative of those supervised visits.

Co-parenting with an active addict is difficult at best.

Been there. Done that. And wish I had done what you are doing.

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Old 02-24-2014, 03:48 PM
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It' always about your kids. You've thought long and hard on this, you've hoped for better...don't hold any guilt about your decision. Everything you're doing is only for them, nobody else. Everyone else can be expected to take care of themselves.

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Old 02-24-2014, 04:05 PM
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Wow, that is so sad. Remember to always think about what is best for your child, not the addict. It is a difficult choice, but I think it is a good one. I hate to say this, but I would make legal arrangements now, because it will probably just get worse. Poor kid. Sending many blessings your way!
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Old 02-24-2014, 07:23 PM
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Thank you all very much. It wasn't an easy decision to make. But I know it is for the best. He also has partial custody of his twin boys. (they are 7) I contacted their mom today, and told her. I wanted her to make sure they knew what to do if they cant wake him up. I love those boys too. I hurt for what they have to see.

Legally I think I am ok for now. I never filed anything with the state. (Child support or anything, and he does give me almost what the court would order, minus medical) So since we were unmarried I retain sole custody until the courts get involved. So at this point I will keep detailed records, in case he does decide to go to court. But I really don't think he has the cognitive ability right now to get that process going anyway. Sigh.

Thanks again, everyone. Addiction is crappy. I live in a small rural city with a huge heroin problem. But I never thought it would affect me so personally (not sure if he has crossed that line or not, from pills to heroin). I know many children that have been orphaned by this epidemic. (Either thru death or imprisonment or just on the streets) They are going to be building a methadone clinic here now. (Currently people must travel an hour away for it) Not sure if this will help, or make it worse.
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