mauihope

I stumbled upon this site last year one day when I was searching co-dependency and it really has helped me become clear about what I am dealing with.
Long story short, I always new my husband had an issue with drinking. He would (and still does) have binges of drinking in excess, usually over the weekend. He never seems really drunk and rarely gets sick, nor misses work because of it (he is self-employed). There have been incidences related to drinking (car accident, false arrest, rumors of infidelity) that just seemed to "happen". He would say he was sorry and we go to counseling (actually a life coach). But it never got "fixed". I would even join in on the drinking, because I thought I needed to be with him/hang out with him. That doesn't work....as I get violently sick when I drink.....and the cycle continues on........we have 2 kids and last night they witnessed him acting out (after a weekend of drinking after he had been sober for about a week or two because of a cold) and they started crying....I am at my wits end and so tired of this roller coaster. I have been doing a ton of reading about addiction and have looked into going to alanon. I am detaching and letting go of worrying about him, but being with him is beginning to be very difficult. He will be leaving for a trip (which I am sure drinking will be involved) and I am looking forward to it, as I need some time to truly think about what I need for myself and my kids. I have no idea what will happen, and I have faith that everything will be ok in the end.

I really appreciate all of the threads on this site. I always thought I was the problem. I know that I contribute to it, but the real problem is the addiction.
And I can't control it or cure it.....
Thanks for listening....mauihope

fedup3

I use to think I was the problem too, keep posting we're here for you.

Hopscotch

Hi Mauihope!

Welcome aboard! We all have different and yet similar experience with addiction.
I feel that reading about them helps me. Hope it can be of some help to you too.

Recovering2

I do hope you find some AlAnon meetings near you. It will truly give you a place of support, and help you sort through all of this. (((hugs)))

spiderqueen

You are witnessing the inevitable progression of alcoholism -- unless the addict abstains forever, and works a serious, consistent and LIFE LONG program of recovery. Even then, the probability of relapse is very high.

You can't make those choices for your husband. You can only choose what you are willing to live with, and expose your children to. Your mission (if you choose to accept it!) is to turn the focus off your alcoholic husband, and on to you and what it will take for you to have a safe, peaceful existence.

I'm so sorry to read about yet another family being torn apart by this damn affliction. We understand and are here to support you. Please keep reading up on addiction, and get yourself the help you need.

mauihope

Thank you for your support!

Spider queen...I couldn't agree with you more. My mission is to take the focus off of the AH.

He has been super nice and attentive. I'm not buying it, as this isn't the first time he's acted up then regretted it. I'm taking each day as it comes.

CodeJob

MauiHope- welcome. It sounds like you are well on your way with reading and are starting to grasp the addiction issue and the role you play in it. I recommend giving AlAnon a try - well several tries. I'm curious about the life coach approach.