Sruggling with a alcoholic Mum and my own sobriety

Old 02-23-2014, 08:05 PM
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Hey everybody. My mother has always been a drinker... This past year, became a full-fleged dysfunctional alcoholic due to a death in the family. I, myself have attempted to refrain from my own drinking habits. I drank daily and wayyyy too much sometimes. I am only 31, but I do not want to get problematic + I can't really afford my drinking habits. My mother landed herself in the hospital recently because of her alcoholism. She spent over a week in there, while they tested her for everything and pumped her full of magnesium,potassium, & electrolytes or whatever. I was pretty sure she would resolve to quit, but I talked to her a few times this week & she does not sound sober at all. I'm so afraid to confront her about it, but I want to help her. Any suggestions on how to handle my predicament?
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Old 02-23-2014, 09:21 PM
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I think the first thing is what people on SoberRecovery often say to newcomers who are dealing with alcoholism in people they love:

You didn't cause it;
You can't control it; and
You can't cure it.

Your mother's life is hers to live, and she has the right to make her own decisions, good or bad in other's eyes, and live with the consequences.

So I'd suggest taking a look at your own drinking and figure out how you want to live. You're young and you have a potentially very full and happy life ahead of you. Your mother does not have to be a role model for you, nor do you have to absorb emotionally her problems or take on trying to solve them for her.

You are in good company here on SoberRecovery; so many people here have been dealing with alcoholism in loved ones. And many on the Friends and Families of Alcoholics are what we call double winners - both alcoholics themselves and family to other alcoholics.

There's a lot on this site to read, and many forums to visit. Welcome

ShootingStar1
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Old 02-24-2014, 04:10 AM
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Thank you, shooting star. I was really hoping that my mother and I could accomplish sobriety together. Dealing with the stress makes me want to drink even more:/ I don't know why she won't help herself. I want to help her so bad but I live too far away to check up with her daily. Thank you for your support! I need you all in my life.
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