I am trying to help my son with his pain meds./herion addiction
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Deland, Fl
Posts: 3
I am trying to help my son with his pain meds./herion addiction
This is my first time on here so please bear with me. My son is 29, moved back in with us because of his addiction to pain meds.now herion. He says he wants help,but I'm not sure he knows how to get it.
He checked himself in to a crisis center which lasted one day because it was cold, too many people,etc.etc. He goes to meetings,so he says. Bottom line is hes been here about 3 months, I thought he was doing good,but come to find out he has still been using. I dont know what to do anymore, he says he wants help but unless he truly does I dont see how we can help him.
Theres so much I can go on about. Can anyone share some kind of light at the end of the tunnel?
He checked himself in to a crisis center which lasted one day because it was cold, too many people,etc.etc. He goes to meetings,so he says. Bottom line is hes been here about 3 months, I thought he was doing good,but come to find out he has still been using. I dont know what to do anymore, he says he wants help but unless he truly does I dont see how we can help him.
Theres so much I can go on about. Can anyone share some kind of light at the end of the tunnel?
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Hello phuddy25, Welcome to SR!
I'm so sorry for all the brings you here, but I am glad you found us. This is a wonderful and supportive place!
I won't lie to you...heroin is a tough nut to crack. Your son has to really want to be clean more than he wants anything else--enough to do whatever it takes. You are right, there really isn't much you can do except put boundaries in place about acceptable behavior around you and in your home. You can continue to encourage him to do that next right thing.
I am worried about you, and the fact that you now have an active heroin user living with you--son or not.
I hope you will spend some time reading around the boards here. It was really an education for me when I first arrived. My stepson is one of several alcoholics/addicts in my life.
Here is a thread about how many times through the recovery process it takes for a heroin user to finally kick their habit--for those who are finally successful.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-10-times.html
This thread was very helpful to me when I first arrived and thought you might get something out of it as well:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html
Please make yourself at home here!
I'm so sorry for all the brings you here, but I am glad you found us. This is a wonderful and supportive place!
I won't lie to you...heroin is a tough nut to crack. Your son has to really want to be clean more than he wants anything else--enough to do whatever it takes. You are right, there really isn't much you can do except put boundaries in place about acceptable behavior around you and in your home. You can continue to encourage him to do that next right thing.
I am worried about you, and the fact that you now have an active heroin user living with you--son or not.
I hope you will spend some time reading around the boards here. It was really an education for me when I first arrived. My stepson is one of several alcoholics/addicts in my life.
Here is a thread about how many times through the recovery process it takes for a heroin user to finally kick their habit--for those who are finally successful.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-10-times.html
This thread was very helpful to me when I first arrived and thought you might get something out of it as well:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html
Please make yourself at home here!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Chicago,il
Posts: 71
Welcome and best of luck. Can't help with the heroin part as I'm a recovering alcoholic. A few points though given my experience and through what I've learned on SB
- tons of support and help here on SR. Read the stickies up above. Read the many threads of countless people that have been or are in the same place
- get yourself some help through alanon.
- read up on codependency and enabling. You might be both and contributing to challenge
- read about 'detaching with love' so you can learn how to remove yourself from the active addiction
- you didn't cause it, you can't control it and you can't cure it. He has to want to stop on his own for himself.....if not....efforts to stop using are near worthless
This is a painfully long journey. He needs your support but in ways you probably don't realize.
Good luck
- tons of support and help here on SR. Read the stickies up above. Read the many threads of countless people that have been or are in the same place
- get yourself some help through alanon.
- read up on codependency and enabling. You might be both and contributing to challenge
- read about 'detaching with love' so you can learn how to remove yourself from the active addiction
- you didn't cause it, you can't control it and you can't cure it. He has to want to stop on his own for himself.....if not....efforts to stop using are near worthless
This is a painfully long journey. He needs your support but in ways you probably don't realize.
Good luck
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Chicago,il
Posts: 71
Also - make sure to read the next threads under the heading 'Friends and Family of Substance Abusers' as you will more discussion on drugs rather than alcohol.
I've seen some nasty Stuff in my outpatient program that has heroin users as well. Bad, bad drug that can be extremely difficult to break the addiction. Ones that have been successful went to 30-day type inpatient pr
I've seen some nasty Stuff in my outpatient program that has heroin users as well. Bad, bad drug that can be extremely difficult to break the addiction. Ones that have been successful went to 30-day type inpatient pr
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 1,407
What was the discussion when your son moved back in? What time limit was he given? What boundaries were set? I ask because those who truly want help can find it. Your son sounds a lot like my brother. Numerous opportunities for rehab, but there was always something wrong with each program. Always a reason why he left that particular one. Never about him. Always back to my parents house.
As long as your son has a safe roof over his head, and no consequences, nothing much will change for him. There is nothing you can really do to help him, he needs to seek out the experts. But you can enable him, however well intentioned it is. The best thing you can do is get out of his way. If he's still active in his addiction, let him know he needs to find somewhere else to stay. Set a boundary of no active addiction in your house. Then be ready to enforce it, and get out of his way.
My parents let my brother back again and again. Never got out of his way, never let him hit bottom. Helped him avert each crisis that may have turned him around. He is now 50 yrs old, still active in his addiction, and still living with them. Nothing changes if nothing changes.
You don't want that, trust me. Find a AlAnon/NarAnon group near you. Read everything you can on this site. Keep posting. (((hugs)))
As long as your son has a safe roof over his head, and no consequences, nothing much will change for him. There is nothing you can really do to help him, he needs to seek out the experts. But you can enable him, however well intentioned it is. The best thing you can do is get out of his way. If he's still active in his addiction, let him know he needs to find somewhere else to stay. Set a boundary of no active addiction in your house. Then be ready to enforce it, and get out of his way.
My parents let my brother back again and again. Never got out of his way, never let him hit bottom. Helped him avert each crisis that may have turned him around. He is now 50 yrs old, still active in his addiction, and still living with them. Nothing changes if nothing changes.
You don't want that, trust me. Find a AlAnon/NarAnon group near you. Read everything you can on this site. Keep posting. (((hugs)))
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