zombiegirl

Not been on properly for a while as I've had an awful lot of stuff going on
Wish I had been on as I've started drinking again n need to give my head a shake.
4 weeks ago my mum who suffers ms had several strokes and then a massive one where she was put on end of life pathway.
I never left her side. She is still here as the doctors got her to agree to be tube fed.
She cannot speak cannot eat and is paralysed except for her left arm n she can nod.
I've also had problems with family emptying her home and taking things from her.
Right now I feel rock bottom.
I've started to put weight back on as my back has now gone again n I'm waiting to find out about surgery or steroid injections in my spine.
I'm 28 I shouldn't be going through all this.
We are just getting through cancer with my beautiful uncle n now all this.
Didn't know where to turn so stupidly I drank.
I need u lot more than ever.
Sorry for waffling on just feels like because u don't know me it makes it easier.
Sorry once again for messing up just have no hope right now

mecanix

Hey ZG ,
nice you're back . Alcohol never gave me any answers or comfort . It just made me pass out , took my money and made me feel sicker . So with it i had even less time to deal with things and less time to learn how to deal with things .
Even sober lives have their up's and downs , i believe it to be worthwhile though as my life has improved through not drinking .

Keep on

Bestwishes, m

Vandermast

hey there

relapse is often precipitated by great stress, which you have been under by the sounds of it

dust yourself off, courageous warrior, and keep punching

you know you can do it

v

venuscat

So many hugs zombiegirl ~ first of all, so glad you are back love.
You need to lean on other people right now; it's a lot to deal with ~ your mother's stroke and family issues, and your back as well.

Is there a counsellor you can call? Someone who might be able to help you to deal with all of this?

In the meantime, please stay and talk to us, and let us help you through this.
The drinking is not going to help you though, I know you know this.
It will only exacerbate the pain.

When my mum's illness became so bad that my sister took her out of my care, I lost my mind. I drank for months, and I nearly lost myself for good.

So I am glad you are here with us...

Love Venus xx

zombiegirl

I have therapy but while mums been in i've been with her n missed my sessions.
I will be back on Tuesday as I cannot mentally cope anymore

venuscat

Glad you're going back to see the therapist love.
And I'm just so sorry this happened to your mum.
Life really throws it at us sometimes!

Sending more love, and prayers for you and your mum.

Love V xx

newme2day

Hugs and glad you are back. Praying for you to get through everything.

Spinach

That's a lot all at once. I wish you all the best, it sounds like now is the best time to start again I know I couldn't cope with drinking and all that turmoil.
You sound like you have been a complete star helping your Mum.
You will cope and therapy will be a great help I'm sure.
Keep strong.
John.

zombiegirl

Thanks guys.
Just wish I could sort my silly brain out.
Can't even get to the pharmacy on Time to pick up my anti depressants. Just feel like I'm failing at everything at the moment

Lind

So glad you are back and will be going to therapy! I realize it is hard with so much going on but you need to take care of yourselve! Your mom is so fortunate to have such a caring loving daughter and I'm sure she would want you to get better!!! You will be in my prayers!

InTheEnd

My Mom's illness was the hardest thing I've ever had to cope with mentally. Sending many prayers your way and just wish I could give you a real big hug right now.

sunshinescooby

hugs to you, your mom, and your uncle. That is so much to deal with at 28. Better days will be ahead, so don't let alcohol ruin them.

tootsl1

ZG, you have so much going on at the moment it is hardly surprising you turned to the one thing that always 'helped', but as you know, all the emotional turmoil and life problems are so till there waiting to be dealt with. Stopping drinking will be the first step. If you have time to buy drink, you have time to get your prescription, so prioritise that. Can anyone share the visiting with your mom? Was she church? Or in a social group? There may well be others who would like to spend a little time with her but perhaps feel it would be intrusive.
As for the vultures, all you can do there is leave it to Karma to sort, or if you feel strongly enough, go to the police. Your mom would hate to feel any way responsible for you drinking again, and you will hate yourself if you are not completely 'there' for her. Keep close here for support honey. You are cared for. X

least

I hope you will stop drinking.

forabetterlife

Such great support and advice you have been given already here. I cannot imagine how hard things must be for you, but I do know that drinking will not make things any better, only worse.
My heart goes out to you....

Anna

Zombiegirl, I'm sorry about your mother's health situation, but I do hope that you take care of yourself. It's important for you to take the time to get to the pharmacy for your medication. Prayers for you and your mother.

malcolmsloan

Hi Zombiegirl. It's good to see you back. So sorry about these struggles. Hard, so very hard indeed. You have some good advice and many helpful suggestions here.I hope that you can find some way to make or find a little time for yourself, as hard as that may be. Take care of yourself. It looks bad, but it will pass. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Keep us posted. I'm really pulling for you, Zgirl.

ReadyAndAble

Sorry to hear about your family's pain. I lost my dad in November after a long illness. It's not easy, I know. I guess if there's any real comfort—we all know alcohol only makes it worse, that's the reason you're here after all—the comfort is that the pain is proportionate to the love. She's your mom. It's supposed to hurt. That pain is also part of how human beings handle tragedy—it's healthy, it's OK. It won't last forever. You'll get to a point where you'll start to smile again, it just takes a while. Glad you're here.

Dee74

(((ZG))) I'm sorry to hear about whats going on.
I agree with Anna tho - it's vitally important you take care of yourself in all of this.

D

Thepatman

I lost my mother to cancer in 2007 after taking care of her for 6 months.
I totally understand the pain you must be feeling. Don't loose yourself in this like I did.

Be kind to yourself, my prayers are for you and your mom.