lynfromct

Someone in a group for addicts told me that I should use the ocean or a mountain as my house higher power. I can see using the ocean house that's it is how brilliant how bold how it takes over the earth. I can see that being more powerful than me stronger than me. I can see it and when I lived in Florida I could feel it. So not sure I have spirituality persay... But I believe the power of the ocean... It's fast beauty how it covers the earth Could bring me back to sanity.

And I saw my sobriety counselor today and we talked. And the way she explained it to me I can do it. She said "Don't think that you have to stop forever" Just stop for now. Stop so that your parents can enjoy you for the rest of their lives. Then when they're gone if you want to pick up and use go ahead.

Believe it or not for me knowing that someday if I want to use again I can makes all the difference in the world. But maybe not what most aa or na people want to hear. But it makes my life my ability to stop more bearable. And right now I'm the only person that matters at least when it comes to this. I have a dual diagnosis. And I have to do it the way its best for me.

People have asked me What kind of counselor would offer me a solution to stop now.. only to use later date in the future? I'll tell you what kind? A person counselor or otherwise who knows me well enough to know that if i have to give up something forever i will never even start. I have been seeing her for quite some time. And decision making is not my best specialty. I tend to sit on the fence. By giving me this alternative... I can get OFF the fence. Even if its just for today Or tomorrow For the next 6 months or the next 6 years. But the idea of knowing that I can always go back Makes it easier to say no today. Maybe some people don't understand that but I'm stopping for me not for the court or for any law... Not because I hit rock bottom.. Not because I'm homeless or hungry. Because I want to stop for my mom and my dad Who are in their 80s. My dad wants me to stop. So for him for today I will.

Notimetoloose

Hi and welcome Lyn,
I have actually heard of this as a treatment for addiction. I am very vague about it but it works on the theory that a very old part of our brain, in evolution terms, the reptilian part, hates the word never, it is designed that if something is good, feels, tastes good it wants more. For example, I love chocolate and if you said to me I could never have chocolate again, I would just want it all the more and that part of my brain gets freaked out but if you said I could have chocolate in a year, it doesn't freak out any where near as much and I am satisfied that I will get to have chocolate again.

I am for what ever works for you.

Nonsensical

Welcome to SR! Congratulations on your decision to stay sober for a while. Who knows, you might even find out that you LIKE it.

Some people might have a problem with it, but every sober day for an addict is a win in my book.

Best of Luck on Your Journey!

Betterlife1

Hi lyn, I'm that way as well. I like to keep it in the back of my head that some day I will be able to drink again. Maybe it's a game I play with myself, and maybe not the best thing. But it works for me and I'm doing very well so far. I'm hoping that once I get several months under my belt, that "game" I play will diminish and I can fully accept that I will never drink again! I guess whatever keeps us presently sober is a great thing!!

least

I'm glad you found us and joined the family. There's lots of support here.

SayAnything

Welcome! I can understand how that word "forever" is a daunting one. Trust me - you are not the only one to feel that way. My best to you!