Newbie - Don't know if this is the place for me.
Not feeling Froggy right now..
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Stuck in The, Midwest
Posts: 6
Newbie - Don't know if this is the place for me.
I feel pretty awkward here. Maybe I shouldn't be here....I'm not in recovery but want to get better. I have used multiple drugs since the age of 16. I am almost 33 yrs old now. I don't drink much, just here & there on certain occasions. I find other things to make me feel better. I have used pot, coke, crank, acid, shrooms, lots of pills and last but not least, the most addicting thing and the one I prefer is meth. I didn't start using meth until I was 25 yrs old but have been on a constant seek & find mission of meth since then. I love it and I hate it. For four years now I have been trying on my own to get away from it. I always fail. I am married and my husband is worse than me. He knows where to get it and the right kind too. If it's not at home, it's easier for me to say no but if I know it's there, I'm in it and I want more and more and more. I can't stand it when it's gone. When it is, I'm sick for a week and the guilt is overwhelming. Geez, I could go on & on...I guess I should quit with that and wait to see if I'm even welcome here or in the right place to vent about this. Today is a bad day and it's bad because the last month has been a binge situation for me and today is day 3 of not having any. Day three is always the worst. I hope this isn't inappropriate for this board, if it is, please just let me know gently and I'll go away without being offended. Thanks to anyone who takes the time to read this. I appreciate it and will let you know that upfront.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,709
Welcome!
Yep. You should be here. No doubt. My name's Dan, I'm an addict.
You're in recovery when you say you are. Period.
Gotta do some work though. So stick around and get comfortable.
Oh, and that sound you hear... It's the gang coming to say hi!
We love to do that
Yep. You should be here. No doubt. My name's Dan, I'm an addict.
You're in recovery when you say you are. Period.
Gotta do some work though. So stick around and get comfortable.
Oh, and that sound you hear... It's the gang coming to say hi!
We love to do that
Paused
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Michigan
Posts: 5
always welcome
hello
I am new here myself, but already have had some good advice and suggestions from the people here. I think this is a great place to start if you truely want help. also, there are a lot of us here with the same obstacles that we are all trying to overcome.
keep your chin up, and turn here anytime you need it.
I am new here myself, but already have had some good advice and suggestions from the people here. I think this is a great place to start if you truely want help. also, there are a lot of us here with the same obstacles that we are all trying to overcome.
keep your chin up, and turn here anytime you need it.
Paused
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Washington
Posts: 5,093
Toad
Welcome, sounds like your at the right place indeed. You are very lucky to have come and poked your head in the door. I think you'll enjoy the company and you'll find there are many who are just like you. Anyone who uses Meth and continues to seek it out, has a big problem. This is the first step in learning the tools to eleviate the use of drugs.
My name is Talia, an alcoholic. It's nice to meet you. I hope you'll stick around and we can share are knowledge. Through that, we help one another reach and maintain sobriety.
Welcome, sounds like your at the right place indeed. You are very lucky to have come and poked your head in the door. I think you'll enjoy the company and you'll find there are many who are just like you. Anyone who uses Meth and continues to seek it out, has a big problem. This is the first step in learning the tools to eleviate the use of drugs.
My name is Talia, an alcoholic. It's nice to meet you. I hope you'll stick around and we can share are knowledge. Through that, we help one another reach and maintain sobriety.
Paused
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Tucson, AZ
Posts: 15
This is a great place for you to be. You'll find nothing but support here. You know where you want to be, and its the same place we all want to be.. sober. Being here and posting means you're in the fight.
We all battle, we don't always win. But it helps to share everything - wins, losses. Your struggle is understood here. You have an army.
And hugs too, whenever you need them. big hugs
We all battle, we don't always win. But it helps to share everything - wins, losses. Your struggle is understood here. You have an army.
And hugs too, whenever you need them. big hugs
MEMBER FOREVER
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: WAY OUT THERE.........
Posts: 2
Welcome,
It Takes Alot To Say What You Have Said And It Sounds As Thou You Are In The Right Spot.... You Are Definately Welcome Here, And I Will Be Looking Foward To Hearing More About You Again Sometime. It Does Get Better.
My Name Is Kerry, Welcome Home.
It Takes Alot To Say What You Have Said And It Sounds As Thou You Are In The Right Spot.... You Are Definately Welcome Here, And I Will Be Looking Foward To Hearing More About You Again Sometime. It Does Get Better.
My Name Is Kerry, Welcome Home.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Syracuse, NY
Posts: 110
Toadly, welcome!
Dan (who is da man) is so right - you came here, you want to get better - you're in recovery. Sit down, buckle up and hang on - you're in for quite a ride, but if you work it as if you're worth it (and you are), it works.
James
Pothead alkie, and originator of the patented so intense it's nearly radioactive program.
Dan (who is da man) is so right - you came here, you want to get better - you're in recovery. Sit down, buckle up and hang on - you're in for quite a ride, but if you work it as if you're worth it (and you are), it works.
James
Pothead alkie, and originator of the patented so intense it's nearly radioactive program.
Not feeling Froggy right now..
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Stuck in The, Midwest
Posts: 6
Wow...you guys rock! Thank you so much for the warm welcomes. Tears just roll every time I read one. I am sure you will hear plenty from me, maybe more than you want at times but I have a lot of things to work on and I do realize that. Unfortunately like you probably know, just because you know it, doesn't make it easier. So with that, I will say thanks again and I look forward to many posts and replies. I am so glad I found this place but I was scared to death to post that first thread. We'll be talking soon.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,497
Hi toady,
I'd like to welcome you too! We're not very scary here - just a bunch of people who help each other to get through the ups and downs of recovery. I hope you'll join us.
Anna
I'd like to welcome you too! We're not very scary here - just a bunch of people who help each other to get through the ups and downs of recovery. I hope you'll join us.
Anna
Little Girl Found
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: North Andover, MA
Posts: 567
Welcome Toadly...not to sound like a broken record...but you're definitely in the right place and there is so much love and support here, it's pretty amazing! Like I said in another newbie's post (me being one too...actually LOL) you'll find that you can write anything you want, if it's still a little awkward telling someone face-to-face. I've been going to AA meetings for over a week, and I found that this place is easier to fully express myself right now. You should check out the online meetings we have here...there's times for every day under the Miscellaneous Forums. You'll meet some really great people there too...even if you don't want to "say" anything, it's just nice to know that you're not alone.
Danielle
Danielle
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: east coast
Posts: 2,440
Toadly,
Welcome to SR. This is a wonderful place to come. I like what Danielle said about being able to say things better because we're not face to face. There are things that some of us embarrassed to say at a meeting for fear that we will be judged. Stick around and you'll find out that there are people who have been where you've been, where you are now, and where you will be in the future. We take it one day at a time. You have taken the first step by looking honestly at yourself. I have used all the drugs you mentioned and then some. I've only been clean for 53 days, but it just keeps getting better. You might want to go to an NA meeting. There are people in the rooms who can help you on a more personal level. It's through the recovering addicts I've met there and here at SR that I am able to learn how to live life on life's terms. I wish you the best and look forward to reading more of your posts.
Recovering Addict named: Sherry
Welcome to SR. This is a wonderful place to come. I like what Danielle said about being able to say things better because we're not face to face. There are things that some of us embarrassed to say at a meeting for fear that we will be judged. Stick around and you'll find out that there are people who have been where you've been, where you are now, and where you will be in the future. We take it one day at a time. You have taken the first step by looking honestly at yourself. I have used all the drugs you mentioned and then some. I've only been clean for 53 days, but it just keeps getting better. You might want to go to an NA meeting. There are people in the rooms who can help you on a more personal level. It's through the recovering addicts I've met there and here at SR that I am able to learn how to live life on life's terms. I wish you the best and look forward to reading more of your posts.
Recovering Addict named: Sherry
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Never, Never land
Posts: 2,851
Toadally,
It's Toadally cool that you are here. Welcome to SR. You will find all the help you want and need here on the boards. Like Sherry said, I have used all the drugs you mentioned and more, you are not alone.
Laurie D
It's Toadally cool that you are here. Welcome to SR. You will find all the help you want and need here on the boards. Like Sherry said, I have used all the drugs you mentioned and more, you are not alone.
Laurie D
Still hangin` on...
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: MA
Posts: 337
Welcome
You are definatly in the right place. I feel for you--stopping anything cold turkey is very hard. Have you thought of detox? Just a suggestion--if you are able to go then you should really consider it. That is one drug I have never tried--but I heard alot about it in detox--SOUNDS LIKE BAD STUFF!!!!!
Stick around--you will have lots of support here.
Hang in there!!!!
Ann :rose
Stick around--you will have lots of support here.
Hang in there!!!!
Ann :rose
Not feeling Froggy right now..
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Stuck in The, Midwest
Posts: 6
Thanks again for all the warm welcomes. When you said "cold turkey" I thought for a min because I always quit for a little bit. It's like we do it for 1-2 weeks and then don't do any for a couple of weeks. Then get to jonesing and do it again for a couple of weeks. Sometimes just a weekend because it wasn't very good or we just didn't have the funds to get more. Even tho wanted to. Funny how everyone talks about how "bad" meth is....I guess I never have considered it dangerous. I know I've came pretty close to dying a couple of times. But I just shook it off as sleep deprivation and the warped feelings and thoughts that come with it. From 1996 to 1999 I was doing it every single day. My husband and I together could easily snort or smoke an 8 ball in a 24 hour period no prob. We had such a tolerance for it. Sometimes we didn't sleep for weeks. I got down to around 100 lbs. I looked like crap but I thought I was beautiful. ONe day I woke up and looked in the mirror and all I saw was bones with skin stretched over them. WE fought constantly, we're lucky we probably didn't kill each other and we didn't divorce. We managed somehow to make it through. we packed up and left and moved to start all over. We did but it wasn't long before we started smoking crack. I didn't like that much, hubby blew our savings on it in about two weeks flat and it wasn't a chump account. That did it for that. We started meth again. Not as often because before we had an endless supply, we were very close to where it originated from. I just feel like such an ass everytime I do it now. I don't want to but I don't seem to be able to control the urge and when it's there I gotta have it. He wants away from it too but he would never go seek help. We pulled out of our major funk back then pretty good on our own but can't seem to get away from it all together. I didn't intend to ramble on but wanted to touch base. Today is a better day, the sun is out, I'm at work and getting ready for a week of vacation next week. I know that I'll be good because we're getting together with my parents and two other siblings & their families for a camping/float trip. I'm very excited about it and there will be no opportunity to do things I'm not supposed to.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Charlottesville, Va
Posts: 632
Im Moontime and Im an Addict!! Welcome to SR!!! Your in the right place. I've tried to quit using many times by myself and got the same results. When I do this by myself my disease is too strong. We, as in NA, have never picked up. Me alone, I'm in bad company and have picked up. Keep Coming Back!
Paused
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Southern California
Posts: 9
I think it is great that you have even come to this website. That's the first step. I did meth for a while. A friend of mine said to me that they'd rather see me drive on meth then stoned (made sense to me at the time...), so I tried it. After that, it was 6 months of constant, as you said, "seek and find" situation. It is an awful habit, but you have to realize that you can get back to normalcy sober. But you have to go through the awful withdrawals and cravings. I couldn't do it alone... Also, you have to talk to your spouse...if he doesn't quit too, you're going to have a lot harder time. But I think it's great you have come here. As I was just told (because this is my first day here too--alcohol has become my vice for the last 4 years), coming here is the first step to recovery. 
Community Greeter
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Mid-Life Express
Posts: 9,930
Salut and welcome,
I'm Indigo drunk/addict and you have definately come to the right place, lots of cool people no judgements just encouragement and love. I look forward to getting to know you.
Indigo
I'm Indigo drunk/addict and you have definately come to the right place, lots of cool people no judgements just encouragement and love. I look forward to getting to know you.
Indigo
Paused
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: left of center
Posts: 68
Toadly-
I am Amanda and I am an addict living a life free from active addiction... it CAN be done! I was reading what you wrote about how you got down to 100 lbs and looked at yourself and used to think you looked good/beautiful even! I remember me some 2 1/2 years ago... actually longer, but I have only had 2 1/2 honest years of complete clean time in a row... but probably 3 1/2 years ago I was at my worst... I have always been curvatious in my build, and I always thought that meant I was overweight... I really had a bad self-image (still struggle with that). Well, my final drug of choice REALLY took care of that for me... suddenly I was in belly shirts and the works and I thought I looked good too! I keep some of those old shots of me and every so often another addict in recovery will be over and it is appropriate and I pull out those pictures... and we will BOTH look at what I thought was beautiful with my warped vision!
I was just aching for you in your fear when I read your first post here... saying if you had said anything wrong please for us to just gently tell you and you would go away... tears...
You are one of the most important people here, you know! The person who is asking for help, who is scared, who realizes how unmanageable their life is but doesn't know how to stop - that is soooooo many of us, and those of us who aren't there today... well... we WERE! And we are all subject to/not exempt from that happening to us again if we don't reach out for help to do this - NOT ALONE!
I am sorry for you that your husband would never go out and seek help... you will be on your own in that respect... but you can also be a living example and if he really does want to stop, he will see the path being paved by YOU! Your life can be so much more fulfilling. If you keep on posting here and reaching out, you may discover that meetings will be a great enhancement as well. NA is my fellowship of choice, and I thought I would NEVER say that I wanted to be a member of any place where they say prayers at the beginning and end, where they all hug each other and call themselves by name and who we are - ADDICTS - we share our pain and we find sponsors who have gone through this process before us and are willing to guide us... and a day at a time we discover that there is LIFE after using!
Welcome - and a big hug to you - - - - - please keep coming back... and feel free to PM me if you would like some additional support - I will be signing off for the day in about 15 minutes, but will be back at 8:30 Eastern time tomorrow and will make myself available if you need ... we are all here for you!
hugs, amanda
I am Amanda and I am an addict living a life free from active addiction... it CAN be done! I was reading what you wrote about how you got down to 100 lbs and looked at yourself and used to think you looked good/beautiful even! I remember me some 2 1/2 years ago... actually longer, but I have only had 2 1/2 honest years of complete clean time in a row... but probably 3 1/2 years ago I was at my worst... I have always been curvatious in my build, and I always thought that meant I was overweight... I really had a bad self-image (still struggle with that). Well, my final drug of choice REALLY took care of that for me... suddenly I was in belly shirts and the works and I thought I looked good too! I keep some of those old shots of me and every so often another addict in recovery will be over and it is appropriate and I pull out those pictures... and we will BOTH look at what I thought was beautiful with my warped vision!
I was just aching for you in your fear when I read your first post here... saying if you had said anything wrong please for us to just gently tell you and you would go away... tears...
You are one of the most important people here, you know! The person who is asking for help, who is scared, who realizes how unmanageable their life is but doesn't know how to stop - that is soooooo many of us, and those of us who aren't there today... well... we WERE! And we are all subject to/not exempt from that happening to us again if we don't reach out for help to do this - NOT ALONE!
I am sorry for you that your husband would never go out and seek help... you will be on your own in that respect... but you can also be a living example and if he really does want to stop, he will see the path being paved by YOU! Your life can be so much more fulfilling. If you keep on posting here and reaching out, you may discover that meetings will be a great enhancement as well. NA is my fellowship of choice, and I thought I would NEVER say that I wanted to be a member of any place where they say prayers at the beginning and end, where they all hug each other and call themselves by name and who we are - ADDICTS - we share our pain and we find sponsors who have gone through this process before us and are willing to guide us... and a day at a time we discover that there is LIFE after using!
Welcome - and a big hug to you - - - - - please keep coming back... and feel free to PM me if you would like some additional support - I will be signing off for the day in about 15 minutes, but will be back at 8:30 Eastern time tomorrow and will make myself available if you need ... we are all here for you!
hugs, amanda
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