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Sin City Sobriety

Old 02-19-2014, 05:37 AM
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Sin City Sobriety

Fifty-Three days for me today, and so far one day / one night in Vegas behind me.

I've got over a week left.

LAAAAASSS VEEGAAASSSSSS..... the very epicenter of alcohol and it's allure and glorification! Free booze everywhere.

Yesterday I had a couple of fleeting thoughts - not quite 'gee maybe I could drink just a little' thoughts, but more like brief images of joining my colleagues and it being "fine". Had to consciously refocus my thoughts to playing out the tape and reminding myself where that would lead.

I'm sure I will make it through this trip without drinking, but I hadn't expected to have those images crop up so soon and sudden. Anyway, gonna find myself a meeting this evening and start my day out going to the gym and I know that I will honor my sobriety and I know that the days ahead will hold a lot of insights as I watch others' partake of alcohol and the activities of the events revolve around alcohol. I know too that these probably won't be the last of the images or the feelings that arise about my own use, my own alcoholism, perhaps even temptations.... but I am going to log on here when I can. I am going to get to a few meetings. I am going to fade the situations that are really high-risk and focus on my sobriety and my health throughout this trip.

I will appreciate thoughts, prayers, intentions being sent my way by any of you who are so-inclined.... I count you in the mysterious circle of influence that I consider my Higher Power.

Have a great SOBER day everyone.

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Old 02-19-2014, 05:39 AM
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Remember, if you can stay sober there, you probably defeated it.
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Old 02-19-2014, 05:41 AM
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Cyber-prayers are winging their way to you right now, FreeOwl. But I somehow think you won't be needing them!
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Old 02-19-2014, 05:41 AM
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I imagine that is very difficult, especially on a work trip, where you cannot really skip certain activities or dinners, or just walk away.

You sound very determined, mindful and focused, with a plan to go to meetings. I think you will succeed.
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Old 02-19-2014, 05:42 AM
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well.... funny you should say that. A couple years ago I did 10 days sober here and it was a really rewarding experience. Then, I made the decision to go back out and practice 'moderate drinking'.

The following year I came here and was an absolute train wreck. I'm fortunate nothing horrific came of it and I somehow managed to not totally blow my career.....

But, there again; I had perhaps 'defeated it' at the time but then I chose to stop defeating it.

It showed me how easily we can go from 'defeating it' right back into an ever-worse place.
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Old 02-19-2014, 05:42 AM
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I was in Vegas last year. Please do better than I did.
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Old 02-19-2014, 06:42 AM
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Oh Vegas. Yes, I recall (modularly) my last visit there included 2 days in bed after an all nighter.

No, AO, you can not keep up with the big dogs because you don't supplement with cocaine and amphetamines.

I never really could "hang". Pun intended.

Next time I go will include hiking, spa treatments and more Cirque than you can shake a fist at.

My favorite sober time to people watch was around 7:00 am when I went down for coffee. What a motley crew and melange of left overs still trying to keep their buzzes going from the previous night.

****{shudder}}}
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Old 02-19-2014, 07:43 AM
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When I get that jealous feeling about everyone else drinking, why can't I, I tell myself, 'you have already spent more time than anyone should be allowed, partying, now you get to enjoy the other things' And there are lots of other things. I like Alpha's idea of people watching at 7 a.m., take in some great shows, do some light gambling (if its safe), enjoy the fat buffets, and the best part, remember and reflect on your day. Be grateful that when you wake up, you won't have to try to remember all the things you did and said in front of your colleagues. No need to be that guy. I am 'betting' on you! Best wishes.
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Old 02-19-2014, 07:54 AM
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Originally Posted by NJNikki View Post
When I get that jealous feeling about everyone else drinking, why can't I, I tell myself, 'you have already spent more time than anyone should be allowed, partying, now you get to enjoy the other things' And there are lots of other things. I like Alpha's idea of people watching at 7 a.m., take in some great shows, do some light gambling (if its safe), enjoy the fat buffets, and the best part, remember and reflect on your day. Be grateful that when you wake up, you won't have to try to remember all the things you did and said in front of your colleagues. No need to be that guy. I am 'betting' on you! Best wishes.
thank you!!

And yes! That's one of the strategies I use too... I tell myself "listen; you've had more partying and boozing and whooping-it-up in your lifetime than a lot of people could pack into four lifetimes.... you're not missing anything and you KNOW where it leads... enjoy the next half of your life in a different, deeper way"

That does help me refocus.

Thank you all for your words and thoughts and support.

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Old 02-19-2014, 11:58 AM
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I am in Vegas at least once a month, albeit not on the Strip. When on the Strip it is a lot harder to remain focused and sober. I know that the walk through the casino floor in the afternoon after meetings, the thought of drinking can be pretty overwhelming. I try to get out for a run then shower and treat myself to a nice dinner. Hard in the moment, but you will be very thankful in the morning (especially when you see someone in the morning that has been up all night drinking and they look/smell like death).
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Old 02-19-2014, 05:15 PM
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You sound determined and mindful and I know you will get through it sober!!

Vegas is a big trigger for me - a big one - and even though I've got time and no desire and I'm doing well at almost 1.5 years I've made a conscious decision not to ever step foot in that city again with friends or by choice. I commend you for your resolve in a place where it is soooooo challenging.

I too will have to hit Nevada for work - albeit not the strip but close - and I know that will be fine but it is definitely a challenge.
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Old 02-19-2014, 05:41 PM
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Prayers your way. Heard about this Vegas place, sure I'm not missing much

Glad you are taking steps to maintain your sobriety.
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Old 02-19-2014, 05:59 PM
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I'm sure you'll be OK FreeOwl. Just focus, and remember at all times you're a non drinker

D
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Old 02-19-2014, 06:03 PM
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Originally Posted by LeeD82 View Post
Remember, if you can stay sober there, you probably defeated it.
I used to think that, Lee.

I remember being on vacation and committing to not drinking...I got through a few days of pubs clubs and casinos with no problems staying sober, so I thought I'd defeated it too...

I thought 'just one celebratory victory beer'....

Don't remember too much of the rest of the holiday.

Addiction is patient and relentless.

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Old 02-19-2014, 07:26 PM
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Originally Posted by alphaomega View Post
My favorite sober time to people watch was around 7:00 am when I went down for coffee. What a motley crew and melange of left overs still trying to keep their buzzes going from the previous night.

****{shudder}}}
I was often one of those people. I would stumble back into my hotel around 7:00 or 8:00 in the morning and somehow find my room. I'd then sleep all day an wake up with a horrible evening hangover. Ugh, looking back it was truly horrible.

Next trip I'll be back to being the sober person sipping coffee and watching others stumble back to their rooms.
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Old 02-19-2014, 07:34 PM
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Stay strong FreeOwl. Alcohol is a big temptation in Las Vegas, but there are other things to do. You could treat yourself to a few meals at some of the many great restaurants that line the Strip (I'm assuming you're on or near the Strip). Shows are also an option. Personally, I've always enjoyed just walking the strip and checking out the new hotels that had been built in my absence.

Honestly, before I started having problems with alcohol, one of my favorite things to do in LA was to get up early (easy to do since I was on East Coast time), buy a paper, and sit in the hotel's coffee shop restaurant or buffet and eat, drink coffee and read the paper cover to cover.
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Old 02-19-2014, 08:47 PM
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Thanks so much for this thread, Owl. I'm going to Austin next week for a vendor convention and am getting emails every, flipping day about this casino night, that happy hour, this wine tasting event, etc., etc. I'm getting my plan in place & these responses & suggestions will fit nicely in the toolbox I'm packing to take along with me.

Keep on trucking & checking in. I'm here cheering you on!!
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Old 02-19-2014, 09:21 PM
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thanks everyone..... HeartsAfire!! Austin!!! Yeah, there's another town that makes it very difficult!! I will keep you in my thoughts and send you prayers and energy for that one.

But - I've done Austin without booze or trouble and had a fantastic time. One way I did that was by getting up early and hitting Central Crossfit in the am's and starting my day off healthy.

Which I did here in Vegas today. After a very long day of sessions, the whole crew including a rowdy pack of Aussies were keyed up to hit the pub for some "serious beer drinking".

I took a cab to a whole foods market and bought piles of fresh fruits and veggies for morning smoothies, water, probiotics and healthy snacks.

Now... I'm going to bed.

At 9:30.

Two days down!!!

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Old 02-20-2014, 07:24 AM
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Another beautiful sunrise.... a 5am start.... a great workout in the gym.... enjoyed the morning outside for a bit....

A healthy raw-fresh smoothie.....

Here we go; Day Three.

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Old 02-20-2014, 08:44 PM
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well.... today was a little bit harder. Several times throughout the day, as others all talked about beer, beer, beer... drinking, drinking, drinking....

I kept having plaguing thoughts about how all of this business culture seems to so revolve around booze.

Being in situations where all the "power players" view drinking as a part of the business lifecycle and transaction. Expectations that you drink if you're to be seen as capable or worthy.

I vacillated between feeling sad about it and angry about it.

It's really frustrating to me that a group of professionals can't seem to go an hour without a reference to booze as the central focus of life, our jobs and everything.

I was able to play out the tape several times in counter-response to my AV trying to suggest that I could surely just have a beer here and there to keep up appearances....

But no. That's not how I roll. If I allow "a beer here and there", the line defining the boundary of "here and there" just grows and grows and grows. And frankly, if I am seen as lesser or not worthy by anyone because I choose not to drink - they're not anyone I want to be valued by.

I bagged out and did my own thing for dinner and headed back to my room to post this and read and go to bed early again, and I feel good and I feel strong but it was unsettling to have to wrestle through those feelings.

Haven't been able to get to a meeting yet so keep the good vibes coming my way if you will please. Thanks all.

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