GreenEggsAndHam

I'm one week sober but only because I am on Flagyl and can't drink with it so I feel it's a hallow victory. I've wanted to drink every day but don't want to be ill. Last night in the restaurant I sat and googled side-effects because I wanted a beer so bad but managed to worry enough not to get one.

The meds will be gone in another day and I'm so scared I'm going to drink. I've made a total mess of my life and really want to drink to avoid the reality of it. I've basically white-knuckled it the entire week. I'm going back to AA today hoping that will help. I went 21 days before in AA but that's the longest I've gone without drinking in the past few years (daily drinker starting in the a.m.).

I have only three adults in my life who love me and, because I'm not on skid row or dying, it's hard for them to understand the madness in my head and how sick my brain is. Two of them told me just to smoke pot instead, and one is a total enabler who drinks with me. I need support from those who understand the alcoholic mind (and the shame/fear/guilt/etc). Will do a noon meeting today and hopefully feel a bit stronger after.

PurpleKnight

Hey, if it's a means to a Sober end then 1 week is still an achievement!!

The thing is though the reality of life won't change through drinking, it's only temporary, we wake up with all the same problems, only with a hangover, which makes things feel even worse.

Going to meetings is a good idea, your gonna need plenty of support to get you through.

But it can be done, many of us where in the same dark place, life won't automatically change by eliminating alcohol, but it's definitely a great first step to turning things around, SR is full of people that have come through it!!

. . . and you can do it too!!

ErikT

Maybe you should look into rehab.....I know Ive said this before...but...it DID save my life....

Nonsensical

Hang in there GE&H!

I know all about white knuckles. The key for me was to start building a sober life. I stopped drinking a hundred times, but I only started building a sober life once. It made ALL the difference.

AA helps some people build that sober life. Others, like me, walk a different path.

Best of Luck on Your Journey!

Ruby2

Keep going to AA if it helps. Kick start sobriety while you have the chance and go to as many meetings as you can. Look into rehab if you really are struggling. I did rehab and then AA and it really was great for me.

And don't drink right away after finishing the flagyl if you do drink as you will get sick. Flagyl is nasty stuff. I once tried to have a beer two days after finishing a course and took a sip and was horribly nauseous on the one sip.

Best to look at it as great incentive to not drink, period. You can do it!

Amajorityofone

You're doing a GREAT JOB!

Remember, all you have to do is get through today and today only. Nine hours down, only fifteen more to go.

You got this!

scintillady

This is why I think that antabuse would help me. It would take the "choice" out of the equation and I would get used to not even having the option of drinking until I get a lot of sober time built up.

doggonecarl

Contrats on one week. Awesome.

There you will find those that understand. If you had some success with AA before, just imagine how well you'd do if you put all your heart into your recovery.

Mountainmanbob

sounds like a good place for you to be
I'm about ready to leave for my 9:15 AM Jumpstart AA meeting
I don't have to go anymore so as to stay sober
but - why stop doing what I have been doing to stay sober for 6 years ??

AA is not my whole Program
but - a big piece of it

good luck with your day
M-Bob

GreenEggsAndHam

Thanks everyone.

I feel very proud of myself today because I put myself first in a relationship that I am always guilt-tripped on. I'm going to have to be selfish right now and not feel guilty about it. Easier said than done!

bigsombrero

One week sober = one week sober, no matter how you dice it. Congratulations on the achievement.

abcowboy

G&H, you can take credit and should! I was once on prescription meds not to be mixed with alcohol, and I drank anyway! So you did beat back your AV, great work!

ScottFromWI

I think the most important question you need to ask yourself is why you have waited an entire week to go back to AA. I think it's a great decision to go today especially since it helped in the past, but look long and hard at your commitment to this...do you really want it ( sobriety? ).