BrentSC

I have been binge drinking for the past 6 years on a regular basis. I'm not a daily drinker, but I look forward to going out and getting drunk every weekend. I only drink once per week and have continued to drink at this frequency, but I have no ability to stop once I start. I can attribute this partially to the group of friends and drinking buddies I've had during this time frame since they have similar or worse drinking habits. But, I can also recall my own lack of self-control prior to my association with this group. So far, I've luckily avoided any major consequences, but I've been close many times.

I have made attempts at moderation, but this is a futile effort. It only works once or twice and I feel worse stopping after two or three drinks than I do when having no drinks. I always drink to get drunk. I don't really know what drinking is like for responsible drinkers. I assume that they drink to get a very mild buzz and know to stop at that point.

I have tried to stop drinking multiple times in the past. I don't feel any particular craving for alcohol on the weekends, but I get very restless and don't know what to do with myself. Nothing seems to compare to going out drinking with friends, so my life becomes miserable and dull. I'm naturally an analytical, negative, and sarcastic person. Drinking makes me more sociable, easy-going, and less annoyed by those who I normally wouldn't want to talk to.

My friends (some friends and some just drinking buddies) have similar drinking habits with no intent to change, so they are great at making convincing arguments on how our drinking habits are normal or a typical stage of life. Most of my drinking buddies are doctors, high level managers at large companies, engineers, and other successful people who have the same drinking habits and see no issue with it. Obviously, it's possible for anyone to have a drinking problem, but it's more difficult to convince myself that I need to distance myself from this crowd than those who can't get their life on track because of obvious alcohol problems. It's also very difficult to distance myself without making major life changes due to their close proximity on a regular basis.

If you can provide any advice, it will be appreciated. It's easy to come here the day after drinking and make a post, but the challenge for me will be to stick with this on Friday or Saturday night when I'm bored and have friends with similar drinking problems who are trying to convince me that I need to stop overreacting and come hang out. Or, a month or two from now when my social life dissipates since most "friends" beyond the age of 21 are actually just drinking buddies. I hate to sound overly negative, but I know from experience that these are things that have made sobriety difficult in the past and they will need to be dealt with for long-term success. There are also positive effects. My confidence while sober increases as I become less dependent on weekly alcohol binges for social settings. My mood improves in day-to-day life. My interest in different hobbies returns.

Thanks for reading. I hate to be that guy who makes a long-winded post about no longer drinking the day after a night of heavy drinking, but I've been wanting to post this every weekend recently. I need something to motivate myself to change.

MyTime86

Everything you just said is me to the T.. I'm only 28 days sober so I don't have much advice for you yet but I feel your pain.

Pedro1234

I started that way then it went From Friday and Saturday nights to include Sunday nights. Then if it was good enough for Sunday nights why not Monday Tuesday Wed............ You get the idea. Deal with it now before it becomes a major issue. It may effect you social life but if your drinking buddies don't accept you for what you are, are they really friends anyway? You will meet new friends that you have common interests with in the long term. Good luck and keep posting it really does help

EndGameNYC

With all you wrote, it all depends on what you're willing to do to get sober. For me, this meant making wholesale changes in the company I kept, the way I thought about things, the way I managed my feelings, and my willingness to take risks in order to first achieve and then maintain my sobriety.

Being "an analytical, negative, and sarcastic person" makes it tough to get sober, and even more difficult to live well.

SoberLeigh

Welcome to SR, BrentSC. You will find a lot of support on this site.

Sobriety is a major commitment and quite often entails significant lifestyle changes. Making this commitment early in your life could spare you the heartache and personal devastation experienced by many alcoholics. Congratulations on your desire to stop drinking.

Dee74

Welcome Brent

My life was pretty drink sodden, so for me to get sober and stay that way I had to change my life.

I know how scary that sounds but if your drinking is eating away at your soul the way mine did me, you already know that you don't have much of a choice.

Don't fear - life after drinking can be good - very good - it's not a life of self sacrifice or denial like I thought it would be, Instead it's empowering and freeing...I hope you give it a try

Confused106

You and your friends sound like my friends and I. Financially secure, professional, hard binge drinkers.
Eventually I got tired of feeling like crap every Monday because I regretted the weekend binge.
I quit drinking dec 1. I'm telling myself I'm giving myself a year off, but after a couple months I feel so much free er, healthier and happier that I guess I have embraced indefinite sobriety.

Try it, you might be surprised!

FeelingGreat

Hi BrentSC, it's irrelevent what you friends think is ok or normal behaviour because you know it's damaging and you've had enough. One challenge is to trust your own judgement on this.
I'm not sure of your age, but in any group of hard drinking men some drop out along the way as they mature, while others don't modify their behaviour at all. Middle aged heavy drinkers are not the most attractive people, and tend to have problems with their health and relationships.
My son was a binge drinker in his early 20s. At some point one of his friends suggested they go out and get p1ssed, and he said 'sorry I can't tonight, I'm mature'.
Most of us have found we have to give up alcohol completely which means big life-style changes. I found the easiest way to step away from the drinking culture was to tell people I was giving up for a year and I didn't want to be tempted. I was surprised how many people said they should do the same, although none actually did.
Next challenge; plan you weekends to include some non-drinking activity. I'm sure you can come up with a heap of things to try, especially as you'll have some spare cash.

KateL

Welcome BrentSC. Like Dee, I was sodden as was my life and everything had to change and it worked fortunately for me xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

BrentSC

I appreciate the support. I feel terrible that I'm back at this point saying the same things that I've said before. I know I can go weeks without drinking, but once the guilt fades and I forget about my lack of self-discipline or chalk it up as just an overreaction after a rough night, the temptation returns. So, I know that going 2-3 weeks with no alcohol is nothing special in terms of progress or recovery and it bums me out to be starting over completely.

But, I suppose the best approach to maintain a positive mindset will be to evaluate prior failures and the common triggers for these failures. I know that previous relapses were due to peer pressure from friends with similar drinking habits and not replacing drinking with other activities to keep my mind off of alcohol.

SoberLeigh

Going 2-3 weeks without drinking IS something special - so special, in fact, that it is worth repeating again and again.

least

Welcome to SR! I hope the support you find here can help you stop drinking for good.

Hevyn

Welcome Brent! I know you'll benefit from all the support & encouragement you'll find here.

Like Pedro, I started out being a binger - but ended up completely dependent on it. I never dreamed it would take over my whole life. I had to admit that once it was in my system dangerous things could happen - and willpower alone was not going to save me. I'm very glad you made the decision to reach out for some help.

angel23

Welcome Brent, i'm so glad you're taking these positive steps into kicking you're binge sessions before it really does become a massive problem like it did for me..really hope you find a better substitute as drinking yourself into a mess isn't the way forward! And be thankful you've not suffered emotionally or mentally from the devils brew like I have and So many others have!!
all the best.xX
Love and light

Goldcoastgirl

Hi Brent, fellow binge drinker here. I suggest you start a word document and copy and past all your posts on there like this one, then read them when you feel complacent as they reflect the pain and anguish you are obviously feeling. It is a good reminder when you think, "Oh well, maybe I wasn't that bad after all, I can handle drinking". After slipping on the weekend (after 37 days of being sober) and going through that pain of beating myself up again, feeling useless, helpless, awful, shameful (the list goes on and on) that to me is the worst feeling on earth.

Just remember you posted here for a reason, and that was obviously to deal with something that is hurting you. You can always hibernate for a few weekends or go hiking or some change of routine. Let us know how you go.

HenryKrinkle

I could have written this.

BrentSC

Thanks, it helps to know others can relate. It looks like you're doing good based on your sobriety date. If I can get a few months under my belt, I will feel much better.

kleigh

Ditto, I relate with what you've said so much BrentSC! I've never been a daily drinker either, just a Friday and maybe Saturday night binge drinker, depending on how bad Friday's hangover was. Recently, I've been noticing an increase in the frequency (every weekend instead of every other) and the severity (i.e. driving drunk, calling my parents while drunk, spilling secrets, etc.) of my binge drinking. I decided it's time to just end it once and for all, before I do something incredibly embarrassing, hurt someone, get arrested, get a DUI, etc. I don't want to HAVE to hit "rock bottom" in order to decide it's time to stop...maybe that's the point you're at too?

In any case, welcome to SR, it's a wonderful place

Birdygirl

This is a problem for me...
The severe guilt after a binge
but then the shame and guilt fades.

We must keep those bad memories in the forefront of our minds
so that we are reminded of the negative consequences.

I'm keeping a blog (for me mainly) with my progress each day,
hoping to help hold myself accountable for my actions.

Day 4 - seems so small - but so big considering I was a daily drinker.

We are here with you.

SoberLeigh

Congratulations on 4 days, Birdygirl; it IS big.