I finally understand.....
Getting there!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
I finally understand.....
The meaning of so much wisdom that has been shared with me. It has taken almost 2 years for it sink in though.
Please help share what you have learned.
I will start with..
We can not love them clean and sober, if we could, none of us would be here.
Addicts don't love, they only take hostages....if we let them!!
Let go or be dragged. I didn't let go, and boy was I dragged.
Addicts don't use drugs and love people. They use people and love drugs. That one took a while because my husband was different, lol.
Asking an addict for the truth, was simply asking them to lie to us....then blaming them. Insanity?? Uhmmm yes!!
I didn't cause it....like most like to say.
We can not control it......take their money, etc
We can not cure it. Its a chronic disease.
AND, the best one of all.....I am powerless over people, places and things.
Please help share what you have learned.
I will start with..
We can not love them clean and sober, if we could, none of us would be here.
Addicts don't love, they only take hostages....if we let them!!
Let go or be dragged. I didn't let go, and boy was I dragged.
Addicts don't use drugs and love people. They use people and love drugs. That one took a while because my husband was different, lol.
Asking an addict for the truth, was simply asking them to lie to us....then blaming them. Insanity?? Uhmmm yes!!
I didn't cause it....like most like to say.
We can not control it......take their money, etc
We can not cure it. Its a chronic disease.
AND, the best one of all.....I am powerless over people, places and things.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In a good place
Posts: 4,482
What angers you controls you.
What consumes our thoughts, controls our lives.
What you resists, persists.
A goal is not a plan, hope is not a strategy.
We write our own destiny, we become what we do.
What consumes our thoughts, controls our lives.
What you resists, persists.
A goal is not a plan, hope is not a strategy.
We write our own destiny, we become what we do.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Nobody else holds the key to our happiness, we alone carry that key and have all along. Anything else is an illusion.
Never argue with insanity.
Let go and Let God. This one finally saved my bacon.
Never argue with insanity.
Let go and Let God. This one finally saved my bacon.
Getting there!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
Ann's signature line
“Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” ~Winnie the Pooh
Kindeyes old signature line
Don't invite insanity to the party and expect sanity to show up!!
“Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” ~Winnie the Pooh
Kindeyes old signature line
Don't invite insanity to the party and expect sanity to show up!!
Curmudgeon, Electrical Engineer, Guitar God Wannabe
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
Posts: 3,403
When something appears to be wrong or not make sense, pay attention because you're probably right.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Vale...you never fail to make me smile until my lips hurt. 
Winnie the Pooh has long been an inspiration to me.. .I recently bought a set of these books for my great nephew. He shall be wise with Pooh just like his aunt.
A few others I love from Pooh...
Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day.
If the person you are talking to doesn't appear to be listening, be patient. It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear.
Sometimes, if you stand on the bottom rail of a bridge and lean over to watch the river slipping slowly away beneath you, you will suddenly know everything there is to be known.
Winnie the Pooh has long been an inspiration to me.. .I recently bought a set of these books for my great nephew. He shall be wise with Pooh just like his aunt.
A few others I love from Pooh...
Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day.
If the person you are talking to doesn't appear to be listening, be patient. It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear.
Sometimes, if you stand on the bottom rail of a bridge and lean over to watch the river slipping slowly away beneath you, you will suddenly know everything there is to be known.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 873
Asking an addict for the truth, was simply asking them to lie to us....then blaming them. Insanity?? Uhmmm yes!!
This comment hit a cord in me. I married someone that has all the qualities I despise.
A wolf in sheep clothing is what I ended up with.
I was holding on to the fact that maybe despite all the heartache, anxiety and tears there has to be something decent in him as a human being.
I could ask him questions all day long and he was great at telling me what I wanted to hear, but couldn't walk straight to save his life. Looking back at wedding pictures I can see it in his eyes now. He was on drugs on our wedding day. Our whole relationship wasn't build on a concrete foundation, it was built on sinking sand.
Why didn't I understand before? My rose colored glasses weren't just colorful they were polarized. But now they are off and I can see exactly what I am dealing with and that is very enlightening.
I don't need to ask my soon to be exhusband 1 more question about faithfulness or if he loved me at all.
It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter.
For this moment I feel at peace.
This comment hit a cord in me. I married someone that has all the qualities I despise.
A wolf in sheep clothing is what I ended up with.
I was holding on to the fact that maybe despite all the heartache, anxiety and tears there has to be something decent in him as a human being.
I could ask him questions all day long and he was great at telling me what I wanted to hear, but couldn't walk straight to save his life. Looking back at wedding pictures I can see it in his eyes now. He was on drugs on our wedding day. Our whole relationship wasn't build on a concrete foundation, it was built on sinking sand.
Why didn't I understand before? My rose colored glasses weren't just colorful they were polarized. But now they are off and I can see exactly what I am dealing with and that is very enlightening.
I don't need to ask my soon to be exhusband 1 more question about faithfulness or if he loved me at all.
It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter.
For this moment I feel at peace.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Listen to my gut instict...it never lets me down.
When I put my AH first EVERYONE suffers, including him, but especially my kids and myself.
That I have to keep myself sane and healthy and have a productive life outside of my AH.
That I cannot control his actions, but I can control my reactions.
The 3 C's of course!
That I am much stronger than I think I am, and while I have days I fall apart, I have the ability with God's help to pick myself back up and do what is right for my children b/c they are #1.
That when I stop opening up to those around me and if I don't attend CR for myself and my own support I start to fall apart. I need support, and deserve that for myself.
That SR is a wonderful outlet and that when I do feel alone I can come here and realize that is not so.
The list could go on and on and on...I like this. I like to see I have made progress and that I have the tools to help myself!
God Bless!
When I put my AH first EVERYONE suffers, including him, but especially my kids and myself.
That I have to keep myself sane and healthy and have a productive life outside of my AH.
That I cannot control his actions, but I can control my reactions.
The 3 C's of course!
That I am much stronger than I think I am, and while I have days I fall apart, I have the ability with God's help to pick myself back up and do what is right for my children b/c they are #1.
That when I stop opening up to those around me and if I don't attend CR for myself and my own support I start to fall apart. I need support, and deserve that for myself.
That SR is a wonderful outlet and that when I do feel alone I can come here and realize that is not so.
The list could go on and on and on...I like this. I like to see I have made progress and that I have the tools to help myself!
God Bless!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,103
Red flags are not party favors. (wish I could remember you shared that one)
Always trust your gut instincts, it will never fail you.
awareness, acceptance and actions....and they must come in that order.
A good indicator of someone's future behavior is their past behavior.
Actions not words are what count the most.
Always trust your gut instincts, it will never fail you.
awareness, acceptance and actions....and they must come in that order.
A good indicator of someone's future behavior is their past behavior.
Actions not words are what count the most.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Dallas TX
Posts: 2,282
So now Ann compares me to a fat bear of (can we be
honest) "limited" intelligence!?!
I am formulating a suitable retaliatory response commensurate
to the outrage perpetrated against me ..........
And it will flow through this keyboard like hells own
wrath. But all things in good time-----first I must finish this
peanut butter and honey sandwich.......
.....But I seem to have misplaced the honey........
honest) "limited" intelligence!?!
I am formulating a suitable retaliatory response commensurate
to the outrage perpetrated against me ..........
And it will flow through this keyboard like hells own
wrath. But all things in good time-----first I must finish this
peanut butter and honey sandwich.......
.....But I seem to have misplaced the honey........
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Dallas TX
Posts: 2,282
To LMNs original thread.
I guess sometimes it does take two years for lessons
to sink in.Hard truths are very difficult to face.
The truth is-----if she were able to call -----tell me she
ran out out gas and desperately needed help...would I answer?
Well, I didn't for the year between my finding SR and
finding out she lost her battle.
But the truth is.....I don't know and I'm glad I will never
face the press to test on that one.
There is nothing fun about being ensnared in this godawful
net of addiction.But like all things that suck------they suck a little
less when the suck is shared by others that care.
It's a crappy club we belong to......the entry requirements
are AWFUL ------but better than facing it alone!
Thanks,SR!
(from Vale's TAO of SUCK)......all rights reserved
I guess sometimes it does take two years for lessons
to sink in.Hard truths are very difficult to face.
The truth is-----if she were able to call -----tell me she
ran out out gas and desperately needed help...would I answer?
Well, I didn't for the year between my finding SR and
finding out she lost her battle.
But the truth is.....I don't know and I'm glad I will never
face the press to test on that one.
There is nothing fun about being ensnared in this godawful
net of addiction.But like all things that suck------they suck a little
less when the suck is shared by others that care.
It's a crappy club we belong to......the entry requirements
are AWFUL ------but better than facing it alone!
Thanks,SR!
(from Vale's TAO of SUCK)......all rights reserved
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Dallas TX
Posts: 2,282
I was considering sending each of you an advance
copy of TAO of SUCK.......but that was BEFORE Ann
compared me to "Pooh"(poo) Bear.
In what universe can this be interpreted as
anything other than "excrement bear"?!?!?!?
copy of TAO of SUCK.......but that was BEFORE Ann
compared me to "Pooh"(poo) Bear.
In what universe can this be interpreted as
anything other than "excrement bear"?!?!?!?
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