LonelyDude

I get a point sometimes, like now, where I think "that's it, I'm done." I get all the alcohol in my house and dump it out. Bag up the empty bottles and feel great... For a while. By the end of the day, I run out and buy more. Hoping I'm not the only one.

least

That's happened to me also. I had the best intentions but couldn't resist the pull of the addiction. I kept trying tho and eventually was able to stay sober. My life is so much better this way.

KateL

No, I was even worse. I never threw anything away, so you can do it xxxxx

Mags1

I'm with Kate on this one, I wasted me pouring it down my neck.

Keep with the feeling, I'm done before it does you x

aasharon90

Having a recovery program to follow
will give you another option instead
of running out for more alcohol.

I had to learn that if alcohol wasn't in
my home that I wasn't gonna die. It
was having the alcohol in my home that
nearly killed me.

Did I really want to die or did I want to
stop the insanity is what I asked myself.

From the time you thru out ur alcohol
to the time it took for you to drive, get
out of ur car, go into the store, buy ur
poison, get back in ur car, drive home,
get back into the house, you had time
to do something else that is more successful
in helping you not drink.

Learning new ways to not drink will be
like learning a new subject in school.

What does it take to learn a new subject
in school? Getting a subject book, attending
classes, doing homework, taking tests, then
applying what we learn in our new recovery
career.

Staying sober each day and passing on
my own ESH - experiences, strengths and
hopes of what my life was/is like before, during
and after alcohol has become my new job.

samwitch

Yep, I did that.

LonelyShadow

I've been there many times but eventually I break that cycle, I find as soon as I have one day without drink my will strengthens and I can get back into real life again.

Notmyrealname

I'm too much of a realist/fatalist to have poured out booze. I knew myself very well.

new star

Yeah I used to do that. I wouldn't drink that night (sometimes) but by the next night id be back to it

2bhappier

Yep. That is what I did too.

HeadLump

It would have been very rare for me to have anything left to throw out - especially wine!

But there were many, many times when I resolved never to buy any and changed my mind the minute I saw the off licence!

LadyinBC

Yeah me too, there was no way I was throwing any booze out. I give big kudos to anyone that can this.

jt1234

Once I threw a half full 5th into the trash because I was "done". Later when the family left the house for some sort of errand I went and tipped the trash can over so I could fish the bottle back out. Talk about sad.

Renarde

I've done that too. Once I got down to it, I had to tell myself that I needed to just sit with discomfort for one evening. I posted on here like crazy and tried to occupy myself. I read books on recovery. Every time I felt I couldn't do it anymore I rushed to the freezer and ate amazing gourmet ice cream. The next night, the same thing - and so on until it wasn't uncomfortable anymore. Stay with us - you can do this.

2bhappier

Renarede, I've been rushing to that freezer all too often and I am getting larger than I would like. Ugh!!! I feel like I have no discipline.

Aellyce

I've done that many many times. Yes, would feel good for a couple hours afterward. But it was never true determination because I did not have the practical discipline to follow up. Knew very well what I should do, my problem was not so much denial, but lack of action and follow up. So would end up buying again as giving in seemed easier in the moment than resisting and restructuring my life. For me the real change came only when I had made a firm plan and sought connection with like-minded people, either in recovery or just mindful and moderate naturally. You are definitely on the right track discussing these patterns here with us, to start with

Dee74

I never threw any booze out.
But many many times I swore never again and literally within 10 mins I was running down the road to buy more.

There is a better way to live LonleyDude - it all starts with not running down that road

welcome to SR

Arpeggioh

Not only have I dumped gallons of booze down the sink in desperate moments of (short-lived) determination, but one memorable evening I tore the silver bag of red wine out of the box (couldn't afford bottles!), tossed it in the sink, and stabbed it with a sharp knife several times, watching the red liquid pour out...I think that's the closest I've come to killing something with my bare hands! I was drunk again the next evening, but it sure was dramatic at the time!