Painful yet had to be done
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: North salt lake
Posts: 3,325
Painful yet had to be done
I have had a spiritual advisor (he is a Pastor) for a long time, after rehab he also became my sponsor. Right after rehab, I think I lost my mind for a few weeks and did some really ****** stuff besides drinking again. Long story short, he left me, told me he couldn't be my advisor/sponsor anymore and it really hurt me. Oh but I didn't give up, I kept texting and asking questions. He kept saying he couldn't advise me. That went on for a bit. Hurt me every time I did it. Last night I erased all his texts, deleted his number and sent one last text saying goodbye. Well I learned a few things, just because you are a Pastor, you are just a person, with scars and flaws like the rest of us. Not to get all religious with you, but there is only one who will always be there and never let you down, the same yesterday, today, tomorrow and forever. I know this.
So my heart hurts but I'll be ok. By the way, this doesn't make me want to drink. It's just life. Love you guys bunches.
So my heart hurts but I'll be ok. By the way, this doesn't make me want to drink. It's just life. Love you guys bunches.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,498
I'm sorry you're hurt, Raider.
I think, bottom line, some of the stuff we do while under the influence, just can't be undone. It's a sad reality that I had to deal with, too. I found I had to turn it around and look at it, not as a loss, but, as an opportunity. Keep yourself open and see what comes into your life now.
I think, bottom line, some of the stuff we do while under the influence, just can't be undone. It's a sad reality that I had to deal with, too. I found I had to turn it around and look at it, not as a loss, but, as an opportunity. Keep yourself open and see what comes into your life now.
Closing the gates of Oblivion
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: OK, USA
Posts: 273
It is tough to lose someone that you think will always be by your side. I lost my sponser last November due to a new love interest who was an alcoholic. Go figure. I am sorry for your loss of a special person in your life. There is someone greater out there though with caring, compassion, kindness and forgiveness. You are doing great right now so props to you! Keep the positive attitude; everything will fall into place.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
I found out the hard way that peoples capacity for forgiveness, their tolerance, and their patience was not bottomless, raider.
I don't know the circumstances here so I'm not blaming anyone, but sometimes people had to let go of me, and sometimes I had to let go of them.
Looking back it seems now such parting of the ways worked for both our benefit
I hope you find another sponsor and mentor soon
D
I don't know the circumstances here so I'm not blaming anyone, but sometimes people had to let go of me, and sometimes I had to let go of them.
Looking back it seems now such parting of the ways worked for both our benefit
I hope you find another sponsor and mentor soon
D
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Gulf Coast, Florida USA
Posts: 5,731
Healthy people have healthy boundaries. I understand why he did that. He can't save everyone.
I am sure if you are doing everything to help your self that he may step back in the picture, but he can't help people who are unsure of their own commitment.
Nothing personal Raider just my opinion and I do luv u
I am sure if you are doing everything to help your self that he may step back in the picture, but he can't help people who are unsure of their own commitment.
Nothing personal Raider just my opinion and I do luv u
Magsie
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,666
Hi Raider, these old hearts of ours, get so scarred then healed then scarred then healed.
Our heart has the ability of healing and the scars, they just show we've lived and loved and cared.
Love and Hugs, Raider xx
Our heart has the ability of healing and the scars, they just show we've lived and loved and cared.
Love and Hugs, Raider xx
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Christchurch
Posts: 451
Lots of love to you Raider. You sound like a really nice lady and you are doing really well in difficult circumstances. There will be someone more able to support you through this and by letting go of the pastor you have left an opening for that person to come along.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: North salt lake
Posts: 3,325
Thanks to all you guys. Dee and Deeker, I think you are right. I told him everything, and I think I told him some things he just couldn't handle. And yes, not only was he unsure of my commitment to help myself, I wasn't even committed to help myself. There are times that someone just has to throw up their hands and say, go do what ya' gotta do. I think this was one of those times. But understanding why it happened doesn't make it hurt less, but it does give me some peace. So thanks for all that. Love you bunches.
Poison Eater Extraordinaire
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: East Coast, USA
Posts: 1,031
Originally Posted by Raider 
Thanks to all you guys. Dee and Deeker, I think you are right. I told him everything, and I think I told him some things he just couldn't handle. And yes, not only was he unsure of my commitment to help myself, I wasn't even committed to help myself. There are times that someone just has to throw up their hands and say, go do what ya' gotta do. I think this was one of those times. But understanding why it happened doesn't make it hurt less, but it does give me some peace. So thanks for all that. Love you bunches.
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