Ann

I was thinking a lot about recovery today, I've been working my program for maybe 15 years now, and trying to think of way to keep it fresh and solid. I practice 12-step but also use SR and meditation and nature and quietude all as means to keep my balance and stay spiritually connected. I went to meetings for 10 years and still go a few times a year, so I have a good foundation and built the rest on that. For me recovery is a process that embraces the best in many programs and practices and yet collectively they become a healthy way of living and staying balanced.

I work the steps all the way through at least once a year, as my life changes so does what each step means to me. I apply the steps to all facets of my life. My son has been missing for over 10 years and since then I have not had to live with active addiction, but I still have to live with my own codependency and need to be diligent about not falling into old ways.

So I thought I would ask the oldtimers here, newcomers are welcome to share too and certainly invited to walk with us on this thread...what are a few things you do to keep your recovery fresh? What works best for you to stay balanced and alive?

I'll start with a few things that help me, and then I hope I can learn from many of you so I can add some new approaches and bring life into my recovery...

I surround myself with nature as often as possible and through this have become a hobby photographer and also am adding birding to the mix. I love birds and am curious about them, so picture me with the camera, binoculars and knee socks, deep in some marsh listening for the bird calls of the osprey or the great blue heron or the double belted kingfisher...music to my ears.

I read books that make me feel good, sometimes novels and sometimes recovery books, and sometimes light reading like "A Street Cat Named Bob" that just made me smile all the way through because Bob was just like my Toby.

I listen to music that makes my spirit smile...sometimes jazz and blues, sometimes Celtic music, sometimes opera or classical music. I tend to do this when I am alone or driving a distance so that I can listen to the words, the emotion and the sound, sometimes singing along (Pavarotti and I make a great duet).

And I take quiet time to pray and meditate...to speak to God, and to listen for answers. Something that helps is to do this watching a sunrise or looking out at the stars, or by water alone with the wind and the waves.

How about you? What works and how do you do it? What soothes your soul in a chaotic world?

I'd love you to tell me.

Hugs

CAPTAINZING2000

The quiet time alone while meditating. Praying for spiritual guiding along my journey. I always know the wrong path to take but sometimes, I'm never quite certain at the fork in the road.

I concur with everything you wrote except you didn't say anything about going for a ride on a Harley or going sailing ��

LDT

Well then I will certainly mention sailing, Captainizing. That's a huge part of my recovery. Sailing and yoga keep me focused, grounded, and sober.

zoso77

I'm not an old timer...at least I don't consider myself one...

But Step 4 has been huge for me. It's really a daily thing, taking my own inventory, and getting honest with myself about some of the poor choices I've made.

If we don't get honest with ourselves about where we go wrong, then we really don't recover. We simply exist, stumbling from situation to situation. It's no way to live.

ZoSo

Ann

Water and boats are my "peace" places, not so much sailboats (my stomach doesn't like the horizon at a 45 degree angle) but I could live on a boat and the water. Perfect peace.

Yoga sounds good, LDT, my bones may not agree, lol.

Ann

Zoso, you may not be an oldtimer, but you are a fast learner and I am inspired by your recovery. And yes, Step 4 is a cleansing step and keeps me honest too.

LoveMeNow

Oh Ann!! Thank you for such a positive, refreshing thread!! I was getting so tired reading about "their" disease and what we can and can not do for "them."

Lately, I have been taking karate and just loving it. I thought I was joining a fun, new activity but I learned it was so much more then that for me. Its a great work out, its great for my concentration and really requires discipline in and out of the Dojo.

I am now eating healthier, not smoking and sleeping better then I have in years. A healthy body is a healthy mind, lol.

Ann

Wow, I am so impressed by your karate. It is a wonderful way to stay fit and also offers self protection skills.

I am thinking of taking up diving over the next year. There are some wonderful reefs and shipwreck dive sites off Key West and I promised myself this year that I would visit them next year. I have always been afraid to dive, I had a friend die diving when he was early 40's....but I am not him and thousands of people dive safely every year. It's as much about overcoming my fear as it is to explore the sea. You inspire me to check out getting licensed here and then again there for deeper water.

Congrats on the quit smoking. I quit over 3 years ago and am so glad I finally beat it.

Staying healthy and fit physically is as important as staying fit mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

I'm glad I started this, I'm not sure what I had in mind when I did but I knew I could count on you all to offer fresh ideas and inspire us all.

Hugs

LoveMeNow

Oh, I just love diving! I used to go a lot when I was with my ex fiancé. He was a one time diving instructor and his passion for it was so contagious. I drew the line though when they cut through the ice on a 10 degree morning and did a deep dive. (And that was really before dry suits were available.) The pictures were amazing and it was almost like being there.

Ann

I draw the line at ice diving. This Canadian gal needs warm Gulf waters.

I thought of something else that helps me...writing out my issues when I work on them, asking my self "What is bothering me the most about this?" and "What would I tell a good friend to do" and "Is this about THIS?" (sometimes it's really about something else that I have stuffed). Or making lists...Gratitude lists, things that make me happy lists, dreams I really could accomplish if I set my mind to it lists...these lists help keep me grounded and thinking in a positive way.

Cooking does not help my recovery, I hate cooking.

lizwig

Well I'm certainly no old timer but I love positive threads....in addition to reading whatever I can get my hands on, daily readers, recovery books etc., attending meetings and coming here...I find little mantras that I repeat to myself when I need to redirect my thoughts. My latest "go to" is "focus on what you want". It reminds me to stop putting energy into thoughts surrounding what I don't want to happen. It lifts me up. Thank you for this thread Ann, I love hearing what others do...

bookreader

Ann - Thanks for the reminder that nature can be soothing. Between the everyday stress, and the polar vortex, and falling multiple times on the ice - I have been battling nature furiously lately.... Maybe tomorrow I will just go look at the ice on the lake. And breathe...
thanks again
b.

BuddinK

Ann,

If you take up diving, you've got a dive buddy in Key West. I haven't been diving in years, I'm really thinking of getting back in.

Before I started diving, I was afraid of the water at night, until I went on my first night dive in Belize, that had to be the most peaceful, serene time I have ever spent. Every trip I took after that had to include at least one night dive.

What kept me going early was learning some new skills, Over the first few months I painted my place twice, tiled the kitchen and bathroom and took an old entertainment center and repurposed it into a new stand for my aquarium. Watching the fish swim around relaxes me more than anything on stressful days.

LoveMeNow

OMG, I just realized I am now considered an old timer. Wth?? Where did the time go?

It took me a lot of to finally get it. I am a slow learner but today I like who I am, I like my own company and I choose to take care of me without feeling guilty.

Recovery, for me, was learning to stop loving "him" so much that it hurt - to loving myself enough to stop the pain.

Ann

Wow, what a strong profound beautiful statement, LMN. It reminds me that I almost died trying to save my son. THAT's Codependency at its worst.

The beautiful thing, for me, is that I didn't die, I learned to live...to really really live and embrace each day and its beauty, no matter how the day unfolds I am grateful for the good and even for the lessons I wasn't expecting to learn the hard way. Today I am stronger and wiser and happier than I have ever been in my life. This all is the strangely wrapped gift that I received in my spirit after such a dark period of my life.

Lizwig, daily mantras and affirmations are important to me too. A mantra that helped me when I was tempted to do something codependent and also when I quit smoking was "Not An Option". As my mind would begin to obsess I just snapped into the "Not An Option" mode and soon the bad thoughts disappeared.

BuddinK, I envy you the joy your have found diving. I think just finding our own "special places" helps us get out of ourselves and into peaceful surroundings.

Bookreader, it's frigid cold here this morning, -18C/-2F, and my skin is costing me a fortune in lotions. But sometime this morning I will bundle up and get out for a brief walk, maybe very brief, but I know my mind needs the fresh air and sunshine, no matter how cold.

Ann

Here's a question for all of you....as you began your own "recovery practices" how did your life change? What difference did doing little things for yourself make in your overall sense of well being? At what point did your focus return to yourself and your health and away from the darkness of addiction?

How hard was it? Any regrets?

rcutch

I work from home, but often commute into my office about 2 hours away....the greatest calm I have ever experienced is driving in my car. I start before daybreak and drive, belting out my most favorite worship songs. The view of the sun rising never ceases to amaze me.....and I am sure there are a few people passing me on the road wondering what I'm doing as I sing away It's those moments that I know I'm being held in precious hands.

llastchance8

Diving is great. If one takes up the Open Water Diver certification and then continues to log all the dives, it enforces one to stay fit. Learning music is great too for striking a chord with nature. The void left after stopping, must be filled with something fulfilling .

ninja

Call display and a controlled entrance.

hopeful4

For me it is the little things. For so long I pushed everyone else away and did not attend so many wonderful things I was invited to. I am a people person so it was really really hard for me. I stayed home to "babysit" my husband!

When I opened up to others about addiction and found the ability to leave and do things without caring what he is doing is when I felt so much more free. I am very close with my mom and sister. I love going to visit my sister. Before I would have called him and been so wrapped up in what was going on with him when I was gone. Now, I live in the moment. I enjoy every second I am there and don't even care at all what he is doing when I am gone. I go on trips and vacation. In the summer my girls and I go camping with my sister and family. I have opened myself up to actually taking the time to enjoy life without being crippled by what he is doing while I am gone.

Living in the moment has set me free I guess is what I am trying to say. Since I missed so many of those little things before, I don't miss them ever now. I coach ball for my little girl. I go to all of my older daughter's cheer competitions and waive crazy signs and cheer for her as loud as I can. I go shopping with my mom. I go to my sisters and relax and enjoy sister time with her and our dogs. In the summer we take a girls vacation together.

This is living. Being scared about if my husband is drinking or not when I am gone is not. Missing events b/c he is not interested in going is not.

So for today, I vow to enjoy those I love and live in the moment. It has been my hardest struggle and reaps the biggest rewards.

Thanks for letting me ramble and for this thread!