12mancan

I feel like I'm being the 'whinny' guy today, posting all these threads, so I apologize... but as I've been sitting here today stewing over last nights mistakes I have started to realize that tonight... I don't want to go home. I just feel like I need some sort of privacy or space... I have a new baby girl, a great wife who I need to apologize too and have no real reason to feel like this, but right now I just don't want to be there.... possibly shame, embarrassment maybe. Maybe I'm angry with her still and don't want to be deflecting any onto her.... would it be completely selfish to get a hotel room after my meeting tonight? Any thoughts/advice....

Raider

You're not a thread jogger for one. If you feel you needs space, well you need space. Sometimes I need space, I go spend hours at the mall (not much to buy things) but to give me peace. Sometimes I go upstairs and shut the door. Such as last night, I needed to process my day and having someone with me wasn't working. Not that I don't love him, I just needed a break. If you end a break, explain it to her p. Don't just run out of the house with your hair in fire and leave her wondering. Good luck.

Dee74

I think it probably is shame and embarrassment for relapsing.

Probably in the minority here but I want to tell you to go home - I don't think the shame and embarrassment will get any better by running away...and...you have a family, man...do you know how lucky you are?

but, in the end it's your call, not mine 12

D

least

I second Dee. Go home and be with your family. Running away won't solve anything and could add to the stress.

freethinking

Please go home. It's so tough for a mom with a new baby. She could use you there I'd bet.

silentrun

I don't know the dynamic with your wife. I have been married 20 years and if my husband ever got a hotel room instead of coming home it was cause a HUGE fight. Whatever it is you are way better off to try and calm down and work through it. Not coming home could turn it in to something more than it is. Besides you have a baby and it is unfair for you to leave her with all the parental responsibilities don't you think? Not a bible thumper here but something about not letting the sun set on an angry state.

12mancan

Thank you guys, I absolutely understand the importance of family and how lucky I am. I don't ever want to shirk responsibilities and leave her holding the bag... and my heart is there... I guess maybe not only last night, but a little worried that I won't be able to help if I'm not in a good frame of mind would I be making things worse? That's why I was seeking some advice on here... you guys are right though.

Thanks!

ErikT

Yes....go home...getting a hotel room and thinking about last night may even lead you to drink....My advice would be to go home. That's what I'd do....good luck to you...

MythOfSisyphus

Well, I think just going home is best. A big part of recovery is learning humility. We all made the beds we have to lie in. Facing the music might be uncomfortable but it will also show your wife that you're serious about getting sober.