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How to deal with the aftermath

Old 02-10-2014, 08:30 AM
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How to deal with the aftermath

Now that I'm sober and on day 2, I'm getting overwhelmed with a terrible feeling. I look back at my past and current situation. All that money, gone. All the things I could have done. The so much better place I could be in right now.

I'll manage financially. Now that I don't have to spend anything on drinking anymore, it'll be ok. But I just feel awful about the situation I'm finding myself in. At this point it even seems like there's no turning back from it. Which is not true I guess, but I'm on day 2 and I'm starting to feel depressed. That will go away as well, I know, but right now I can't feel good.

How do you get over the loss and misery of the past? It's really getting to me.
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Old 02-10-2014, 08:37 AM
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It takes some time, but you need to remember that you cannot change anything that has happened. It's done and over with. What you can change is how you deal with your drinking moving forward. Being sober and honest with yourself and others can go a long way in repairing some of the damage we've done. Also remember that there may be some people or some things you've done that can never be repaired, and that you have to accept that fact.

But you have the power to decide what happens today - that's the best you can do. Worry about that instead of things you have no control over.
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Old 02-10-2014, 08:38 AM
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Congratulations on day 2. You are doing great. As you get more sober time things will sort themselves out. Take care of you right now. Eat right, drink lots of water, baby yourself a little. Cuddle up with a good book. You have the rest of your life to figure it all out, right now just work on getting and staying sober. One day at a time, we can do this. You are not alone, we have all felt this way. You can do nothing about the past. You have today, make it a good one.
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Old 02-10-2014, 08:51 AM
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don't let these feelings overwhelm you ... (easier said, than done). that's still your AV screaming trying to get you to feel weak, unbalanced, scared... getting you to think about drinking. that's how AV is dying.
past is gone. you cannot live in the past, you have to "live the solution". move forward, go though this hell of the next few days... and you will come out stronger.

life's situations are not going to disappear. you are much better off dealing with them sober. what seems like a mountain of problems will look like a little bump in the road in a few weeks. you are getting better and stronger every hour you win this battle.

for now take care of yourself.
eat well.
try to get as much sleep as your body needs.
got for a lot of walks.
exercise if you can.
meditate.
pick up a new hobby.
keep your mind occupied with something simple.
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Old 02-10-2014, 09:07 AM
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The words of encouragement really help. I have shifted my focus to getting better first. No need to worry, there's nothing urgent going on anyway. It all felt so urgent and, as serious said, like a mountain of problems. But only because I feel so terrible right now, which makes it so I can't do much about them.

Once I feel better, it's just a couple of little things. Don't spend too much money for this month. Do laundry. Clean up my place. Regular stuff that seemed so impossible to do. Lying here in bed, sick. I tend to forget that I will feel better soon and I'll take care of everything.

To be honest, I did feel a desire to drink. To make it go away (AV). But then I realized that doing the same thing that caused the problem will never solve it. I'll only wake up in misery once again, once I've sobered up. And everything will be a little bit worse again.

Actually, as I wrote that, I actually got scared of drinking. I look at drinking and see the terrible things it causes. Horrifying.

I'm on a bit of a rant, sorry. But it feels good to get these things off my chest.

Today I spent in bed. Yesterday also. It's not normal to drink so heavily that you end up in bed for several days afterward. It's unacceptable.

I've eating some bread with peanut-butter. It's the only thing I can enjoy eating right now. And as far as nutrition goes, it isn't that bad. I've taken some vitamins. Make sure I drink enough water. I'm also watching all sorts of things on YouTube to distract myself. And I'm planning to get a good night's sleep. I'm getting pretty exhausted.

That's ok for me for today. Tomorrow I'll shower, get out of the house. Start doing things again. That would be a good day 3. And from there on it'll get better.

Never again. Had I known this beforehand, I never would have picked up the bottle in the first place.

I just imagined one year from now. It was a nice thought. Everything will have been normal for quite some time then and I won't be bothered by this phase anymore.
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Old 02-10-2014, 09:11 AM
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With more sober time you'll start to feel better. Give yourself time and be good to yourself.
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Old 02-10-2014, 09:13 AM
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you are on the right track and have a positive attitude. you will get through these first few days.

sucks being in bed, sick.

worse being in ER... (been there).
worse being in jail (would eventually get there... yeah, i never thought i'd do half the things i've done while drunk).

hang on for the next few days. it will be unpleasant to say the least, but it will be worth it. drink. eat as much as you can. sleep as much as you can. and you might recover faster. don't put too much pressure on yourself right now. take it real easy.
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Old 02-10-2014, 09:23 AM
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The best thing you can do about the past is not repeat it.

Get into recovery and stay sober.
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Old 02-10-2014, 11:54 AM
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Forgive yourself, move forward and rebuild your life. You can do it xxxxxx
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Old 02-10-2014, 02:54 PM
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Some great advice here Benedict

we can't change a second of yesterday - but we can do a lot with our today

the more I did with my todays the less what I'd done in the past bothered me - I began to like the man I was becoming and the new life I was building....change can be a powerful cleansing tool

I know you'll find that too - welcome to SR

D
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Old 02-10-2014, 04:07 PM
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Please do not go down that road Benedict. I was so consumed with guilt and remorse that it almost sabotaged my recovery. You didn't intentionally cause yourself all that grief - and you've done the right thing by stopping the insanity from continuing. Be kind and patient with yourself - you will rise above those feelings and begin to enjoy your great new life.
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Old 02-10-2014, 08:25 PM
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You can't change the past but you can learn from it. There will be time enough to do that when you get stronger. Right now take care of yourself. Scott and Serious said what I would have said. This early and those feelings can be too overwhelming. Best to take things slowly.
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