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Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: minneapolis, MN
Posts: 49
new
I randomly came across this site and am really hopeful it will help me to get and stay sober.
Over the past 5 years, alcohol has slowly become an issue for me. As I was recovering from an eating disorder, I started using it as an escape but I didn't think I had a problem because I am a successful, driven woman and I was keeping my life together quite well. Recently though, I tried to stop and realized I couldn't. I also realized I don't like the person I am when I drink- I become horribly selfish and needy and attention seeking. I'll do anything to get someone to notice me and comfort me. Unfortunately, even in trying to get sober I am seeing some of those tendencies come out with over reliance on my sponsor and others I've met in AA. So, I thought this might be a good way to get some added support without overwhelming the people around me.
I drank again last night but I am so ready to be done with this. So, today is day 1 again and I am going to make it work.
Over the past 5 years, alcohol has slowly become an issue for me. As I was recovering from an eating disorder, I started using it as an escape but I didn't think I had a problem because I am a successful, driven woman and I was keeping my life together quite well. Recently though, I tried to stop and realized I couldn't. I also realized I don't like the person I am when I drink- I become horribly selfish and needy and attention seeking. I'll do anything to get someone to notice me and comfort me. Unfortunately, even in trying to get sober I am seeing some of those tendencies come out with over reliance on my sponsor and others I've met in AA. So, I thought this might be a good way to get some added support without overwhelming the people around me.
I drank again last night but I am so ready to be done with this. So, today is day 1 again and I am going to make it work.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Rural Colorado
Posts: 376
Hi Hopeful, Welcome to SR. I too had an eating disorder (so bad that I spent several months in the hospital with anorexia, I got down to 60 lbs as a teenager). I thought I had recovered but I think I left that obsession and moved on to alcoholism. I went for a long time thinking I wasn't an alcoholic because I didn't drink to the point of passing out or vomiting, lose my job, lose my driver's license or family. I did, however, feel like crap about myself as I drink wine night after night after night.
Anyway, I find SR and AA very helpful and I hope you do too.
Anyway, I find SR and AA very helpful and I hope you do too.
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,164
Hi Hopeful
You will get plenty of help and support here. There are threads that help those who also have eating disorders, or if you are just looking to share your early journey, each month has a class, so if you stopped drinking in Feb, then the Class of February 2014 is the place to visit! I would also venture to suggest perhaps counselling would help, you mention using alcohol as an escape to help recover from the eating disorder? I feel perhaps you used it to escape looking at, and working with, what caused the disorder in the first place. And now the same issue is attaching itself to your drinking problem. Btw, you don't have to take a blind bit of notice of anything I say!!!
( other than the welcome of course!!)
You will get plenty of help and support here. There are threads that help those who also have eating disorders, or if you are just looking to share your early journey, each month has a class, so if you stopped drinking in Feb, then the Class of February 2014 is the place to visit! I would also venture to suggest perhaps counselling would help, you mention using alcohol as an escape to help recover from the eating disorder? I feel perhaps you used it to escape looking at, and working with, what caused the disorder in the first place. And now the same issue is attaching itself to your drinking problem. Btw, you don't have to take a blind bit of notice of anything I say!!!
( other than the welcome of course!!)
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 83
Hi hopefulyogi, welcome! I'm new, too, and have found friendly, supportive people here. I assume you do yoga by your username? I also do yoga and have been a yoga instructor - do you find going to class helpful with feelings of being healthy and hopeful?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: minneapolis, MN
Posts: 49
I went to a meeting this morning and then worked and that all went just fine. But now that I am home alone and having to sit through the time I usually drink without being able to is really really really uncomfortable. I hate this part.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,534
Hey there, hopeful! What can you do that is different from your normal drinking in the evening pattern? Take a shower/bath? Read? Craft? Journal? Go see a movie? Go to bed and be done with the day?
Hang in there. You are entirely capable of this!
Hang in there. You are entirely capable of this!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: minneapolis, MN
Posts: 49
Maybe I'll try to take a really hot shower and then sleep. I feel like I'm kind of just paralyzed by not knowing what to do with myself when im home alone in the evenings now. I've gone through eating disorder recovery- I know how to work through cravings....I just forgot how hellish it is in the beginning. 
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