Giving this a shot
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 5
Giving this a shot
Hello all,
I am new to posting. I guess I signed up to the site a few months ago, but I was obviously intoxicated and don't remember.
Well, today I am here because I know ,that at least subconsciously, I am an addict.
In a few days, I'll laugh this off and find myself thinking of reasons why I should go to the liquor store. I'll tell myself there isn't much of a problem or, I'll say, "I'll quit tomorrow."
But I'm here to find like minded people who are going through what I am and to get support.
Like most people, I started off drinking "once in a while" in my teens. Around my mid-twenties, I did notice that I was starting to drink more than normally. Prior to that, "normal drinking" would have been a few beers or even a bottle of rum on a weekend. But I never felt like I couldn't live without it. So, in my mid-twenties I noticed that I was drinking at least a 40 or more everyday which was, obviously more than I use to drink.
At this time, I didn't make much of a connection to the fact that the more I was drinking the less I cared about anything else. I was an aspiring musician, always told by my peers that I could go pro. I never had the energy it takes to do that though. I knew the talent was there, but my motivation was nothing. I liked the buzz alcohol gave me and I continued to drink. My gf of four years left me, and then life just became this "joke" to me. I became very arrogant, made people laugh a lot, but I also hurt a lot of people because I was insensitive and didn't care about anyone except myself.
Today I m 30 years old. I am tired.I have no motivation to pursue my music, to date, to meet people, etc. I just come home from my job that I don't care much for and I drink myself away. I stare at my Netflix and watch 10 minutes of a movie, change it, get on facebook. My concentration is horrible and all I want to do is numb myself with alcohol.
Sometimes I will quit drinking for a few days. I find it relatively easy, but something happens and I end up relapsing, followed by a binge.
I believe I have done some damage to my body from drinking, but I will go into more detail on another post.
Anyway, I am here today because I decided not to drink (2/9/14). I want my life back.
I am new to posting. I guess I signed up to the site a few months ago, but I was obviously intoxicated and don't remember.
Well, today I am here because I know ,that at least subconsciously, I am an addict.
In a few days, I'll laugh this off and find myself thinking of reasons why I should go to the liquor store. I'll tell myself there isn't much of a problem or, I'll say, "I'll quit tomorrow."
But I'm here to find like minded people who are going through what I am and to get support.
Like most people, I started off drinking "once in a while" in my teens. Around my mid-twenties, I did notice that I was starting to drink more than normally. Prior to that, "normal drinking" would have been a few beers or even a bottle of rum on a weekend. But I never felt like I couldn't live without it. So, in my mid-twenties I noticed that I was drinking at least a 40 or more everyday which was, obviously more than I use to drink.
At this time, I didn't make much of a connection to the fact that the more I was drinking the less I cared about anything else. I was an aspiring musician, always told by my peers that I could go pro. I never had the energy it takes to do that though. I knew the talent was there, but my motivation was nothing. I liked the buzz alcohol gave me and I continued to drink. My gf of four years left me, and then life just became this "joke" to me. I became very arrogant, made people laugh a lot, but I also hurt a lot of people because I was insensitive and didn't care about anyone except myself.
Today I m 30 years old. I am tired.I have no motivation to pursue my music, to date, to meet people, etc. I just come home from my job that I don't care much for and I drink myself away. I stare at my Netflix and watch 10 minutes of a movie, change it, get on facebook. My concentration is horrible and all I want to do is numb myself with alcohol.
Sometimes I will quit drinking for a few days. I find it relatively easy, but something happens and I end up relapsing, followed by a binge.
I believe I have done some damage to my body from drinking, but I will go into more detail on another post.
Anyway, I am here today because I decided not to drink (2/9/14). I want my life back.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: CA
Posts: 648
First off, you're in the right place. There are so many people like you out there and they are right here to support and share their experiences with you. I can understand what you're going through. I began to enjoy the buzz alcohol have me and found myself drinking ALOT more than I knew I should. But the truth is, it's not good for our bodies, our minds, and our life. It's good that you've come to realize that before it's too late. I'm assuming you're the kind of person who can't just have one single drink either, once you feel that buzz, you have to keep going. And that's something we can all relate to. It's great that you're willing to accept help and have come to realize that the drinking needs to stop. This forum is filled with friendly people with both a heart and a message.
2Cor5:17
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Between Doctor's opinion & pg 164
Posts: 4,187
Welcome back
I want my life back too & that means cannot drink today. I haven't quit drinking; just not today! It's going to get worse before it gets better but it's the steps that make me better. Join aa if alc is a problem @ home or work. Life is sooo much better & fufilling being sober. I no longer live the life where abnormal was normal
I want my life back too & that means cannot drink today. I haven't quit drinking; just not today! It's going to get worse before it gets better but it's the steps that make me better. Join aa if alc is a problem @ home or work. Life is sooo much better & fufilling being sober. I no longer live the life where abnormal was normal
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 5
Thanks for the response.
To clarify: I didn't mean I turned 30 today. It's not my birthday, but thank you lol.
I definitely am physically ill from drinking. Almost a year ago I was hospitalized for dehydration, which was most likely a direct result from my drinking. I am tired a lot. Does anyone else feel this way? And another issue I have is tingling in my hands and feet from being dehydrated.
My health is definitely a big motivating factor in my desire to get on the wagon.
To clarify: I didn't mean I turned 30 today. It's not my birthday, but thank you lol.
I definitely am physically ill from drinking. Almost a year ago I was hospitalized for dehydration, which was most likely a direct result from my drinking. I am tired a lot. Does anyone else feel this way? And another issue I have is tingling in my hands and feet from being dehydrated.
My health is definitely a big motivating factor in my desire to get on the wagon.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
Welcome, MagicGus. I was in the same boat when I found this place. The pain of drinking finally overcame the fear of not drinking. If there's one thing I wish I would have realized 20 years ago it's this: Booze is a liar. It tricks you into believing it's indispensable, but it's not. It's a slow drag on your life, and it holds you back far more that it helps.
You won't stop drinking until you're ready, that much is a fact. I hope you're ready. Stopping now will save you a lot of heartache, maybe save a life.
Good to have you here.
You won't stop drinking until you're ready, that much is a fact. I hope you're ready. Stopping now will save you a lot of heartache, maybe save a life.
Good to have you here.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,781
This is a great place for support. 
I came here in a terrible state. I had too many failed attempts of quitting. I finally got real and quit for good over four years ago. If I can do it, so can you. 
I came here in a terrible state. I had too many failed attempts of quitting. I finally got real and quit for good over four years ago. If I can do it, so can you. 
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 5
Thank you everyone for all of the comments. Today is day 2 of sobriety for me and I feel good. Today while I was at work, I kept thinking about all of the encouraging posts I found on here last night. I will be visiting as much as I can.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
I'm so glad you joined us MagicGus.
I admire you for taking this huge step at 30. I knew I was in danger back then - but went on for decades trying to manage my drinking. You'll never have to go through the horrible times many of us have - be proud of yourself. You can do this!
I admire you for taking this huge step at 30. I knew I was in danger back then - but went on for decades trying to manage my drinking. You'll never have to go through the horrible times many of us have - be proud of yourself. You can do this!
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