escapist

Hello SoberRecovery! I am so glad you are still out there!

I am still sober. Not a drink since that day I fumbled my way onto this forum.

Sometimes I want to get drunk. Just escape my problems. I don't give in. It is suicide for me.
I am involved with activities outside of work and my home. I just finished Reiki Master training. I am official now. The art of healing. So appropriate for someone who stayed drunk everyday for 4 years.

Today , Sunday , my electrician came to my house. I had some lighting installed. Cute chandelier my Mom picked up in Toronto at IKEA. So, it is 1:30 pm and he really smells like booze.

I thought, " Wow , I haven't smelled that in a while."

I felt pain for him.

I used to go to work drunk, drink more at work, talk to clients on the phone buzzed, drive to buy more booze for my night at home. Can't risk sobering up so I have to make sure I don't run out.

So, I said nothing to him. I watched him stand on the ladder with his drill and just worried about him falling. He installed the chandelier perfectly. Everything was perfect. Right?

I used to think my drinking was acceptable as long as I could do my job and bring home a paycheck. Alcoholic Logic.

So smelling my electrician made me feel sad for him and so grateful for my decision to stop drinking.

I know what he is going through and I also know that only he can stop drinking.

I just feel like I should pray for him.

silentrun

Being caught in that cycle is suffering. The longer I am sober the more I realize that.

alphaomega

I saw an old interview with PSH when he spoke about his addiction and I literally started to sob.

There but for the grace...

HeartsAfire

I had something similar happen to me at my son's cotillion today. A mom walked up next to me & I smelled it on her. After it made me almost wretch, I just felt pity, sorrow & pain - for her, for me, for all of us having to go thru this. Mostly I felt so sad for her family. At the same time though, I felt grateful for mine. It was very strange.

sugarbear1

Good to hear from you!!

Dee74

I'm glad you're doing well escapist...I hope that guy will find his way, just as we have

D

MythOfSisyphus

I know what you mean. Two years ago I would have envied that guy! Already got a buzz on, at work even! Now it would just make me sad.

KateL

My daughter had a Geography tutor a few years ago, who would come to our house. They would sit in the dining room for an hour and after she's gone, I had to open all the windows. Because we understood what a nightmare her life must have been, we kept having her back. She wasn't very good with the tutoring (well, according to my daughter) but she finished her course with us because we didn't want to add to her pain. Very sad. I still wonder what happened to her.