Acceptance
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 1,405
Acceptance
Acceptance
The Key to Serenity
~By BuddyT
The first line of the Serenity Prayer says, "God, GRANT me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change..." which indicates to me, that serenity is not something that comes from within, but something that has to be given to me.
For me, serenity began when I finally began to learn to distinguish between those things that I could change and those I could not. When I admitted that there were people, places, things, and situations over which I was totally powerless, those things began to lose their power over me.
I learned that everyone has the right to make their own mistakes, and learn from them, without my interference or assistance! The key to serenity is acceptance. But "acceptance" does not mean that I have to like it, or condone it or even ignore it. What it does mean is I am powerless to do anything about it, and I have to accept that. I MUST accept it!
Arguing with a Disease
I spent years trying to change the alcoholics in my life. I threatened, scolded, manipulated, coerced, pleaded, begged, bribed and generally tried all I could to make the situation better only watch as the situation grew progressively worse. Only to hang on while the abuse progressed and the pain increased.
For me, acceptance came when I finally realized that I was dealing with a disease. Somebody told me, "You can't argue with a disease." That helped me change my attitude about the problem. It freed me up from the "responsibility" of trying to do the impossible. From trying to control the uncontrollable.
I finally realized that it was NOT MY JOB to change someone else. That acceptance alone has brought me a great deal of serenity that was never there before, but was granted to me by the help and friendship I have been privileged to enjoy in Al-Anon... and a power greater than myself.
The Key to Serenity
~By BuddyT
The first line of the Serenity Prayer says, "God, GRANT me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change..." which indicates to me, that serenity is not something that comes from within, but something that has to be given to me.
For me, serenity began when I finally began to learn to distinguish between those things that I could change and those I could not. When I admitted that there were people, places, things, and situations over which I was totally powerless, those things began to lose their power over me.
I learned that everyone has the right to make their own mistakes, and learn from them, without my interference or assistance! The key to serenity is acceptance. But "acceptance" does not mean that I have to like it, or condone it or even ignore it. What it does mean is I am powerless to do anything about it, and I have to accept that. I MUST accept it!
Arguing with a Disease
I spent years trying to change the alcoholics in my life. I threatened, scolded, manipulated, coerced, pleaded, begged, bribed and generally tried all I could to make the situation better only watch as the situation grew progressively worse. Only to hang on while the abuse progressed and the pain increased.
For me, acceptance came when I finally realized that I was dealing with a disease. Somebody told me, "You can't argue with a disease." That helped me change my attitude about the problem. It freed me up from the "responsibility" of trying to do the impossible. From trying to control the uncontrollable.
I finally realized that it was NOT MY JOB to change someone else. That acceptance alone has brought me a great deal of serenity that was never there before, but was granted to me by the help and friendship I have been privileged to enjoy in Al-Anon... and a power greater than myself.
Recovered People Pleaser
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Heart of Dixie
Posts: 391
I know I differ with one at least one point of the OP and that is because God Grant's me something is no indicator that it is within me or not. When I ask for most things just like the "courage to change the things I can" I am only asking that my courage be brought to the forefront so that I may Change the things I can. The courage has always been with in me, I just needed the nudge to act on it. When I ask for wisdom to know the difference, the fog is removed and I can see things as they are and not how I would have them to be..there is no great download of data or knowledge.
I used to believe that prayer changed things FOR me..now I believe that prayer changes me and thereby I change many things that before seemed impossible, prayer allows my HP to "awaken" the things that were in me, to grow them, just like the seeds in the grown, it waters what has been planted, but the tree was in the seed all along..after all it only returns to that from whence it came..(you might chew on that last statement a minute)
Acceptance is coming to an understanding that there are things beyond my control, it is a change of thinking. Anything I have to accept I do not LIKE. That is a given. I have never had to struggle to accept anything I "wanted, liked or enjoyed". Acceptance is realizing that people have free will and choices and it is not up to me to make anyone's choices but my own-regardless of intention. It is like the weather. I know I live in "tornado alley". I know it is a matter of when not IF a tornado will come through my area. I do not like stormy weather, I will never be 100% calm nor comfortable during the thing, but I have learned the recommended protocol for dealing with tornados, I have supplies at the ready and make the best of the situation. I plan the best I can with the information at hand and do all that I can to make survival easier and to minimize any damage the storm may bring my way, and IF the storm does indeed cause damage, I just go about the business of rebuilding what I can as best I can.
I do not nor will I ever like all the weather..but I do not fret over it, get depressed or become resentful over weather. What good would that do..when I have already done all I know to do? I just enjoy the weather I prefer and prepare to endure what the past has shown me is likely to happen again. I accept that the weather is and that it has cycles and is sometimes not to my liking. That is acceptance.
I used to believe that prayer changed things FOR me..now I believe that prayer changes me and thereby I change many things that before seemed impossible, prayer allows my HP to "awaken" the things that were in me, to grow them, just like the seeds in the grown, it waters what has been planted, but the tree was in the seed all along..after all it only returns to that from whence it came..(you might chew on that last statement a minute)
Acceptance is coming to an understanding that there are things beyond my control, it is a change of thinking. Anything I have to accept I do not LIKE. That is a given. I have never had to struggle to accept anything I "wanted, liked or enjoyed". Acceptance is realizing that people have free will and choices and it is not up to me to make anyone's choices but my own-regardless of intention. It is like the weather. I know I live in "tornado alley". I know it is a matter of when not IF a tornado will come through my area. I do not like stormy weather, I will never be 100% calm nor comfortable during the thing, but I have learned the recommended protocol for dealing with tornados, I have supplies at the ready and make the best of the situation. I plan the best I can with the information at hand and do all that I can to make survival easier and to minimize any damage the storm may bring my way, and IF the storm does indeed cause damage, I just go about the business of rebuilding what I can as best I can.
I do not nor will I ever like all the weather..but I do not fret over it, get depressed or become resentful over weather. What good would that do..when I have already done all I know to do? I just enjoy the weather I prefer and prepare to endure what the past has shown me is likely to happen again. I accept that the weather is and that it has cycles and is sometimes not to my liking. That is acceptance.
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