Crimki

Ok.. So I went 26 days sober than last week, went out and got plastered, swore it off again made it 7 days and what do you know I'm up to my old tricks again.
Mind
It's ok you can go out for your friends birthday
Me
No because I'll drink and then get drunk i can't have one.
Mind
But you have to be social, you can't be a hermit
Me
You're right I'll go and say hello
Mind
You should stop and get a bottle as a gift to your friend.... Just bc you don't drink anymore doesn't mean other people dont and you can't show up empty handed.
Me
Yeah that would be rude of me I'll get her something
Mind
Even though she doesn't drink makers mark you should buy a bottle of makers mark
Me
No I've done so well. If I get makers mark ill drink some.. I'm not getting that
Mind
But it's on sale!
Me
Yeah i see that. Bottle of makers mark please...

Drunken night ensues. Woke up feeling like **** again.... God damnit i don't know what to do. I do really well and then it's like for what or hitting the reset button..... Ahhhhh I'm so mad...

KateL

Just look forward, you can crack it xxx

zerothehero

Have you read about the AV (alcoholic voice)? Have you considered AA meetings or alternatives like mindfulness practice? You're on the right track, it just sounds like you could use some tools to sharpen the saw. Just my thoughts....

Crimki

Since starting to try and quit drinking i started practicing yoga and working on quieting that urge, and I was in the midst of a 30 day yoga challenge had a class scheduled for this morning but my alcoholic voice won this battle. I wasn't able to make it to the practice this morning and that is what really is getting me down, is that alcohol again is starting to interfere with my life and what I want to to do. It takes a the center stage and everything else has to follow and "fit in " it's like i asked myself last night why let alcohol win and make it so i don't show up in the morning , and the i had a drink and you all know how that goes..... I'm really upset with myself. I guess maybe I could try aa, just I don't know

silentrun

You are seeing through the inner dialogue that puts you back in the mindset to use. That has to be good. Making it to day 26 shows some commitment to get free. Calling in some more support seems like a good idea. Congratulations on Day1 instead of letting this turn into a full out relapse.