Anger
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,854
Anger
I have been thinking about the stages it takes to get to acceptance. These are working concepts for me. I thought I would share them, and maybe people would like to talk about their own experiences with each stage in the process. (Denial, Anger, Fear, Grief, Acceptance)
Anger
Anger often comes from inner feelings of anxiety, fear, frustration, helplessness, panic, or the question why me? Anger often fuels denial. Anger can be directed inward at ourselves, or outward towards the situation, other people, our family, friends, the heavens above, or the universe. Anger is energy, it can either be released in destructive ways, or harnessed to bring about positive change that will help heal the inner feelings, and improve the overall situation.
Anger also reminds me of the apple cart. Anger it was turned over, anger at the forces that made it happen: sometimes internal forces, sometimes external.
Anger
Anger often comes from inner feelings of anxiety, fear, frustration, helplessness, panic, or the question why me? Anger often fuels denial. Anger can be directed inward at ourselves, or outward towards the situation, other people, our family, friends, the heavens above, or the universe. Anger is energy, it can either be released in destructive ways, or harnessed to bring about positive change that will help heal the inner feelings, and improve the overall situation.
Anger also reminds me of the apple cart. Anger it was turned over, anger at the forces that made it happen: sometimes internal forces, sometimes external.
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 4,966
In the beginning, anger fueled my denial, presented me with excuses to keep on using. I was angry with my situation...said things like "I have to pop these pills because I have to work full-time, come home cook dinner, clean the house, make sure my kids finish there homework, give them baths, make sure their clothes are ready for the next day etc.... And I have no help!"
There were many times that I was angry with my husband for being who he is, "If only I had a husband who was better at managing the finances, who wasn't sick with diabetes or heart disease, who didn't have to leave his job because of his heart attack then I wouldn't need these pills."
Another good one was telling myself "If I lived in a different city or different state life would be much easier...so I have no other choice but to use."
Many others too, but really all the anger did was keep me sick in my addiction and prevent me from making the positive changes that I needed to make.
There were many times that I was angry with my husband for being who he is, "If only I had a husband who was better at managing the finances, who wasn't sick with diabetes or heart disease, who didn't have to leave his job because of his heart attack then I wouldn't need these pills."
Another good one was telling myself "If I lived in a different city or different state life would be much easier...so I have no other choice but to use."
Many others too, but really all the anger did was keep me sick in my addiction and prevent me from making the positive changes that I needed to make.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: West Midlands
Posts: 135
urgh yeah ANGRY seems to be my default mode of operation at the moment.. well, actually no since i started my new meds 2 weeks ago, the anger seems to be more in control (though it feels fake to me as it is only due to the seroquel that im NOT bouncing off walls anymore).
Its not productive to be angry and i hurt myself way more than i hurt AH with it, especially as i tend to keep it inside.. i learned during my abusive last marriage that anger is not a safe emotion.. so i just go round and round and round in circles in my head. I snap at the wrong people for the wrong reasons, i take everything way too "on face value" without actually questioning or looking deeper.. all so that i can justify my anger.
Sure, what AH has put us all through over the years deserves anger... but it cant be changed and he cant take it back however much he might want to.. so now its up to me to let go of the anger and move into the next phase. Not sure im quite there yet though, take my meds off me and ill be right back to raging and spitting venom. I really need to put my "Coping Statements for Dealing with Yesterday" into practice. There just seems so much to learn that im getting overwhelmed and angry with myself now ...
talk about messed up @_@
Its not productive to be angry and i hurt myself way more than i hurt AH with it, especially as i tend to keep it inside.. i learned during my abusive last marriage that anger is not a safe emotion.. so i just go round and round and round in circles in my head. I snap at the wrong people for the wrong reasons, i take everything way too "on face value" without actually questioning or looking deeper.. all so that i can justify my anger.
Sure, what AH has put us all through over the years deserves anger... but it cant be changed and he cant take it back however much he might want to.. so now its up to me to let go of the anger and move into the next phase. Not sure im quite there yet though, take my meds off me and ill be right back to raging and spitting venom. I really need to put my "Coping Statements for Dealing with Yesterday" into practice. There just seems so much to learn that im getting overwhelmed and angry with myself now ...
talk about messed up @_@
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