Acceptance
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Acceptance
I have been thinking about the stages it takes to get to acceptance. These are working concepts for me. I thought I would share them, and maybe people would like to talk about their own experiences with each stage in the process. (Denial, Anger, Fear, Grief, Acceptance)
ACCEPTANCE
The concept is close in meaning to 'acquiescence', derived from the Latin 'acquiēscere' (to find rest in).
These are excerpts from an article by Chris Kressler on the Power of Acceptance from from Health for the 21st century.
The truth is that not all problems are solvable. As much as we’d like to believe otherwise, we don’t have full control over the conditions of our lives. But the one thing we do have control over is how we relate to ourselves and the the world around us; specifically, whether we accept what is or struggle against it.
When most people (including myself at one point) hear the word “acceptance”, they think of giving up or caving in. But giving up is not acceptance – it’s submission. And there’s a crucial difference between the two.
Acceptance simply means the recognition that the moment is as it is. That’s it. It is not a value judgment. Accepting something is true in this moment doesn’t mean that we endorse it or approve of it. It just means we recognize it is in this particular moment.
Nor does acceptance mean anything about the future. If we accept something is true in this moment, that doesn’t mean we can’t work towards changing it in the future – in the very next moment. Acceptance transcends hope or despair, future or past. It’s simply seeing reality as it is.
Acceptance = freedom
Using my own experience as an example, accepting that I was ill did not make the illness go away. Nor did it stop me from continuing to pursue treatment in the hopes of improving my health. What it did do is remove an entirely unnecessary layer of suffering that came from continuously struggling against what was true in each moment.
I believe that it’s not possible to take truly effective action until we fully accept what is. But that’s not easy. In fact, it’s one of the hardest things we can do. Because to accept something means to let in all of the feelings and sensations that go along with that something. In the case of illness, it means feeling the grief associated with the lost dreams, the fear that we may never get well or that we won’t survive, and the isolation that comes from living with chronic illness.
Ironically, it is avoiding these feelings (i.e. not accepting them) that prevents us from taking appropriate action. Not accepting something doesn’t make it go away. It just distances us from ourselves and from reality in general, which ultimately leads to more suffering.
When we accept what is, we are free. Free to act in accordance with reality. Free to be at peace with the circumstances of our lives, no matter how undesirable or difficult they are. And free to continue to do everything in our power to improve the conditions of our lives (or of life in general) in the next moment.
Though managing a long-term illness can bring emotional upheaval, it also brings the triumphant feelings and strength that come with overcoming obstacles. Success comes in a variety of forms, whether it's controlling a disease with positive thinking, biofeedback, or physical therapy so well that less medication is needed or accepting that the illness has irrevocably changed your life and some of it is very, very good. With each success comes the confidence that you're able to live a full, rewarding life and maybe even a more meaningful life than if you hadn't gotten the illness.
ACCEPTANCE
The concept is close in meaning to 'acquiescence', derived from the Latin 'acquiēscere' (to find rest in).
These are excerpts from an article by Chris Kressler on the Power of Acceptance from from Health for the 21st century.
The truth is that not all problems are solvable. As much as we’d like to believe otherwise, we don’t have full control over the conditions of our lives. But the one thing we do have control over is how we relate to ourselves and the the world around us; specifically, whether we accept what is or struggle against it.
When most people (including myself at one point) hear the word “acceptance”, they think of giving up or caving in. But giving up is not acceptance – it’s submission. And there’s a crucial difference between the two.
Acceptance simply means the recognition that the moment is as it is. That’s it. It is not a value judgment. Accepting something is true in this moment doesn’t mean that we endorse it or approve of it. It just means we recognize it is in this particular moment.
Nor does acceptance mean anything about the future. If we accept something is true in this moment, that doesn’t mean we can’t work towards changing it in the future – in the very next moment. Acceptance transcends hope or despair, future or past. It’s simply seeing reality as it is.
Acceptance = freedom
Using my own experience as an example, accepting that I was ill did not make the illness go away. Nor did it stop me from continuing to pursue treatment in the hopes of improving my health. What it did do is remove an entirely unnecessary layer of suffering that came from continuously struggling against what was true in each moment.
I believe that it’s not possible to take truly effective action until we fully accept what is. But that’s not easy. In fact, it’s one of the hardest things we can do. Because to accept something means to let in all of the feelings and sensations that go along with that something. In the case of illness, it means feeling the grief associated with the lost dreams, the fear that we may never get well or that we won’t survive, and the isolation that comes from living with chronic illness.
Ironically, it is avoiding these feelings (i.e. not accepting them) that prevents us from taking appropriate action. Not accepting something doesn’t make it go away. It just distances us from ourselves and from reality in general, which ultimately leads to more suffering.
When we accept what is, we are free. Free to act in accordance with reality. Free to be at peace with the circumstances of our lives, no matter how undesirable or difficult they are. And free to continue to do everything in our power to improve the conditions of our lives (or of life in general) in the next moment.
Though managing a long-term illness can bring emotional upheaval, it also brings the triumphant feelings and strength that come with overcoming obstacles. Success comes in a variety of forms, whether it's controlling a disease with positive thinking, biofeedback, or physical therapy so well that less medication is needed or accepting that the illness has irrevocably changed your life and some of it is very, very good. With each success comes the confidence that you're able to live a full, rewarding life and maybe even a more meaningful life than if you hadn't gotten the illness.
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I think acceptance for me meant realizing that I was an addict.....that 1 pill was one too many and 1,000 never enough. It meant that my relationship with my pills had ended and that it would be ok. That I could live my life without them....and that was ok too.
I think it was this acceptance that made me think about things that needed to change in my life. It meant that I needed to accommodate my needs. It meant that I had to come to terms with my feelings again....they weren't going to be numbed out by the pills anymore. I needed to slow down and concentrate on things that really mattered to me. I couldn't go on trying to be the super woman that I thought I needed to be. It also meant being more open to my family about what my needs are....what my feelings are. I think it's also realizing that I can't please everyone all the time.
I think because I reached the stage of acceptance with my addiction it has actually given me PEACE!
With this peace has come happiness....it's not that fake euphoric feeling from a drug....it's the kind of happiness that comes from within....being true to myself and accepting the responsibility for my own joy in my life......I think gratitude plays a part in this too. Grateful for another chance at a beautiful, clean and sober life.
I think it was this acceptance that made me think about things that needed to change in my life. It meant that I needed to accommodate my needs. It meant that I had to come to terms with my feelings again....they weren't going to be numbed out by the pills anymore. I needed to slow down and concentrate on things that really mattered to me. I couldn't go on trying to be the super woman that I thought I needed to be. It also meant being more open to my family about what my needs are....what my feelings are. I think it's also realizing that I can't please everyone all the time.
I think because I reached the stage of acceptance with my addiction it has actually given me PEACE!
With this peace has come happiness....it's not that fake euphoric feeling from a drug....it's the kind of happiness that comes from within....being true to myself and accepting the responsibility for my own joy in my life......I think gratitude plays a part in this too. Grateful for another chance at a beautiful, clean and sober life.
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