readerbaby71

I am trying really hard not to be critical these days, even in my head. Just a quick rant and I'm done......

My sister used to drink vodka to excess almost every night. About two years ago she quit, which is wonderful. I am very proud of her. She smokes pot but to me that's no big deal. However she does have a glass of wine or beer once in a while at parties or family gatherings. She doesn't get drunk and if it's working for her that's great. Her life has improved immensely and she seems very happy.

Yesterday she posted about how she has two years of sobriety, "yeah, me!".....blah blah blah. People are gushing all over her and she's eating it up. It bugs me. I know sobriety is a different experience for everyone and I am SO GLAD she's off the vodka, and it is a big deal that she was done with it two years ago. It just bugs me that she's omitting the fact that she drinks occasionally. I do too. That's why I don't call myself sober.

/end rant. Feel free to tell me I'm being a judgmental #$%^ and to mind my own business. LOL

JustAGirl1971

I don't think you're being judgmental. I guess I only think of sobriety in terms of alcoholics and addicts... I don't say I have sobriety because I never had an addiction? I do recognize my tendency towards addiction. That's precisely why I do not/will not drink regularly. A few drinks, a few times a year is it for me. The short period of time that I did drink regularly escalated very quickly into nearly nightly drunkness (late teens.) Had circumstances not worked out the way they did, had I continued to drink, I do think I would be an alcoholic. So, I choose to drink infrequently and it works for me. I would not say I have sobriety as I am not abstinent.

That said, merriam-webster dictionary uses this definition: the state of not being drunk. And, the free dictionary online uses this definition: Moderation in or abstinence from consumption of alcoholic liquor or use of drugs. So, assuming your sister has not been drunk during those two years, I guess she could be considered technically correct as defined by these definitions? Apparently, the technical definition is not necessarily synonymous with abstinence? Like you, I always thought sobriety = teetotalism.

atalose

I think it’s always bothersome when people close to us lie. What we need to do is not take it personally.

And we are talking “FAKEBOOK” right?? Lol

readerbaby71

I guess it's more her need for validation and praise that bugs me. But I have to remember she's been through A LOT of horrible things in her life and if it makes her feel good about herself, why should I begrudge her that?

readerbaby71

Lol, yeah. FB is so annoying sometimes. Time to take a break!

readerbaby71

I also had a pretty bad problem with alcohol but stopped my compulsive drinking about seven years ago. I don't call myself sober though. I'll admit I've gotten buzzed since then but now only have a drink or two once ever few months. I wouldn't call myself abstinent but I am in a much, much better place than I was then. Being with my BF has been good for me in some ways because it has almost completely squashed my desire to drink. When I even consider drinking to stuff my feelings it makes me sick to my stomach, which is a good thing.

JustAGirl1971

To be honest, it took me years to get to the point I'm at. After I quit drinking regularly, I continued to binge through my 20s. I may have only drank a couple times/year, but I made up for it in those nights! The last time I got drunk, I was around 30? At that time, I had set a limit of 4 drinks for the night (a party). After I exceeded that, I set the limit down to 3 and have not exceeded that since. I haven't drank since last summer. I stopped at my 3 drinks but quickly realized that AH was not abstaining and had out drank me I've had zero desire to drink since that night. Going forward, I'm following the CDC's guideline of 2 drinks/day for women.