My first effort!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 16
My first effort!
Hello, this is my very first post and I have put a lot of thought how to write it: I am male around 45 years old, height 6 feet (1.83cm) and weighing around 90-92 kgr. I drink since 18 years old but not alone – only at the bars or social meetings etc. I started drinking alone 10 years after and I started drinking home alone daily since 2002.
Now what I drink: during 2013 I was drinking a bottle of Jack Daniels every 3 or 4 days, but only after 9 at night, never in the mornings. When I was drinking the bottle every 4 days, it was not that I didn’t want more, but I was making an effort to keep drinking down, meaning that it was easy for me to drink the half of the bottle, but I was resisting. But I couldn’t resist when I was going out and I was always return home drunk.
So now 10 days ago I decided to quit and haven’t drink since then. I announced it only to my wife who is very supportive (of course). I have some tranxene (benzos) home that a doc gave 2 years ago to help me quit then (I didn’t really make any effort to quit) but I do not want to start using benzos daily as I am afraid that I will abuse them. At the moment I take one atarax before bed which works so far. My father has been an alcoholic all his life, starts drinking before noon. I was avoiding alcohol during daytime and never woke up and started drinking, so I consider myself a light alcoholic – if I am one.
Now the withdrawal: I feel moody, I am not smiling a lot but thank god I can sleep – atarax help, I do not feel any tremors, but the last two days I have leg cramps before sleeping and yesterday I saw a tv program and almost cried. I hope it will continue that way.
My goal: to drink only socially – NOT HOME ALONE every day. However from what I read I need around a month without drink to fully detox, so I will try to avoid bars, clubs etc.
Now that you read shortly my drinking story, I would like confirmation if I am (was) an alcoholic, provided that I was drinking only night time, when my kids go to sleep and provided that I was resisting and not finishing the bottle or drinking during day time (although I would like to do so). Also if I can continue like this, alone with my wife’s and friends' help, and by reading Living Sober of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. - without professional help, should I do it? If the worst part is on the first 10 days, have I overcome this?
for reading my story
Now what I drink: during 2013 I was drinking a bottle of Jack Daniels every 3 or 4 days, but only after 9 at night, never in the mornings. When I was drinking the bottle every 4 days, it was not that I didn’t want more, but I was making an effort to keep drinking down, meaning that it was easy for me to drink the half of the bottle, but I was resisting. But I couldn’t resist when I was going out and I was always return home drunk.
So now 10 days ago I decided to quit and haven’t drink since then. I announced it only to my wife who is very supportive (of course). I have some tranxene (benzos) home that a doc gave 2 years ago to help me quit then (I didn’t really make any effort to quit) but I do not want to start using benzos daily as I am afraid that I will abuse them. At the moment I take one atarax before bed which works so far. My father has been an alcoholic all his life, starts drinking before noon. I was avoiding alcohol during daytime and never woke up and started drinking, so I consider myself a light alcoholic – if I am one.
Now the withdrawal: I feel moody, I am not smiling a lot but thank god I can sleep – atarax help, I do not feel any tremors, but the last two days I have leg cramps before sleeping and yesterday I saw a tv program and almost cried. I hope it will continue that way.
My goal: to drink only socially – NOT HOME ALONE every day. However from what I read I need around a month without drink to fully detox, so I will try to avoid bars, clubs etc.
Now that you read shortly my drinking story, I would like confirmation if I am (was) an alcoholic, provided that I was drinking only night time, when my kids go to sleep and provided that I was resisting and not finishing the bottle or drinking during day time (although I would like to do so). Also if I can continue like this, alone with my wife’s and friends' help, and by reading Living Sober of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. - without professional help, should I do it? If the worst part is on the first 10 days, have I overcome this?
for reading my story
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
Welcome, Condition! Ten days is a major accomplishment and you should be proud. That said, the battle is one you'll have to wage for the rest of your life. I never tried AA, I just use AVRT- that has been sufficient for me. Like you, I'm in my 40s and drank hard for about 25 years. The main thing is that if you truly want to stop drinking, there's a way!
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
In 1990 I thought I had a problem with alcohol so I went to some AA meetings. People there talked about drinking at work, drinking in the morning, missing work to drink, DUIs, broken marriages, detox, prison, etc. I had not done any of those things, so I concluded I was not an alcoholic.
23 years later I was drinking at work, missing work to drink, my wife was threatening to leave, drinking in the morning, been to rehab, etc.
Was I an alcoholic in 1990?
Yup.
23 years later I was drinking at work, missing work to drink, my wife was threatening to leave, drinking in the morning, been to rehab, etc.
Was I an alcoholic in 1990?
Yup.
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Hi Condition, welcome to SR. Are you an alcoholic? Hard to say, but I think possibly. Why?
- you were 'resisting'; most non-As don't even think about drinking when they're not actually doing it
- you were drinking every day
- you were drinking well above recommended levels
The problem with alcoholics trying to moderate, or only drink socially, is that they are keeping their addiction active. It never works for long, and it takes an enormous effort.
Most As find the only lasting solution is quitting permanently, because it's way too easy to get back into the habit once you start having 1 or 2 socially.
By all means give it a go and see whether you can maintain social drinking, but if it's too hard, consider abstinence. Although it can sound scary, I've personally found it incredibly relaxing not to have to think about drinking all the time.
- you were 'resisting'; most non-As don't even think about drinking when they're not actually doing it
- you were drinking every day
- you were drinking well above recommended levels
The problem with alcoholics trying to moderate, or only drink socially, is that they are keeping their addiction active. It never works for long, and it takes an enormous effort.
Most As find the only lasting solution is quitting permanently, because it's way too easy to get back into the habit once you start having 1 or 2 socially.
By all means give it a go and see whether you can maintain social drinking, but if it's too hard, consider abstinence. Although it can sound scary, I've personally found it incredibly relaxing not to have to think about drinking all the time.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
Hi Condition welcome 
I'm afriad you may not like what I have to say.
I tried very hard to only drink socially...but the whole thing about being an alcoholic is we can only dream of that kind of control...for me it had to be all or nothing.
I've drank at all hours of the day too - I starting drinking at night after work, moved on drinking all weekend as well, and ended up drinking all day every day.
Looking back I feel I was an alcoholic through all that.
You'll find other folks here who only drink after they put the kids to bed too, but who find that drinking none the less destructive.
For me alcoholism is not about how much we drink or when.... it's about what happens to you when you do - the great tug of war that had me trying to resist drinking too much, and usually failing, is a struggle I remember very well.
The good news this is a very welcoming community. You;ll find a lot of advice here, and support. I recommend you listen to what people say, then make up your own mind.
good to have you here
D
I'm afriad you may not like what I have to say.
I tried very hard to only drink socially...but the whole thing about being an alcoholic is we can only dream of that kind of control...for me it had to be all or nothing.
I've drank at all hours of the day too - I starting drinking at night after work, moved on drinking all weekend as well, and ended up drinking all day every day.
Looking back I feel I was an alcoholic through all that.
You'll find other folks here who only drink after they put the kids to bed too, but who find that drinking none the less destructive.
For me alcoholism is not about how much we drink or when.... it's about what happens to you when you do - the great tug of war that had me trying to resist drinking too much, and usually failing, is a struggle I remember very well.
The good news this is a very welcoming community. You;ll find a lot of advice here, and support. I recommend you listen to what people say, then make up your own mind.
good to have you here
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
We do not like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose yourself. Step over to the nearest barroom and try some controlled drinking. Try to drink and stop abruptly. Try it more than once. It will not take long for you to decide, if you are honest with yourself about it. It may be worth a bad case of jitters if you get a full knowledge of your condition.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Livonia, MI
Posts: 260
Condition....I will say this...people who aren't alcoholics don't have to rationalize their drinking. Im not sure where you got the idea that 'time-of-day' has anything to do with it. Also....people who aren't alcoholics don't have to "resist" drinking half a bottle of Jack Daniels. And as long as Im mentioning it....they don't drink half a bottle of Jack to begin with. Only YOU can determine if you are an alcoholic. But....if your story were mine....Id consider myself one. You already mentioned that this was an issue before. That's where you got the meds you have now. Also...and Im not trying to sound rude....just trying to be helpful to you....also...people who aren't alcoholics don't have to come onto recovery websites to get recovering alcoholics to rubber stamp their drinking habits. The fact that you have had problems with your drinking now and in the past and you ARE STILL trying to keep alcohol in your life....the very fact that its still THAT important to you...should tell you something. I never drank in the morning....until I did....never had any DUI's....until I did....never had health issues due to my drinking....until I did.....and never lost a job because of alcohol...until I got fired.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 16
Hi thanks for the warm welcomes.
You maybe misunderstand me, I do not believe that I will possibly go out in a bar and have only one drink, this never happened, but I do not care if I get drunk once in a while, knowing that I won't stop easy if I start.
My goal (and my wife's) is not to have any alcohol at home alone, I don't care if I get drunk once in a while, provided that I won't buy a bottle to drink at home the next day. Also I live in Athens, Greece where the resources are not like I live in NY.
You maybe misunderstand me, I do not believe that I will possibly go out in a bar and have only one drink, this never happened, but I do not care if I get drunk once in a while, knowing that I won't stop easy if I start.
My goal (and my wife's) is not to have any alcohol at home alone, I don't care if I get drunk once in a while, provided that I won't buy a bottle to drink at home the next day. Also I live in Athens, Greece where the resources are not like I live in NY.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,236
Control was the first thought that poped into
my head after reading your share. Then, I
read a few other shares and bingo, the word
control spoke volumes again to me.
Control drinking? There was none. Not for
this alcoholic.
August 11, 1990, I entered rehab via a
family intervention, and spent 28 day
being taught about addiction and it's
affects on my body, mind and soul.
I was given many helpful tools to take
with me to continue on my recovery
journey living sober a day at a time,
passing on that knowledge to others
struggling with addiction themselves.
I failed so many times to control my
drinking before I had to learn I couldn't.
Then I had to learn how to use those
vital tools to guide me each day to
avoid drinking, going crazy, or killing
myself mentally, emotionally, or physically.
I heard time and time again that if one
is planning to drink down the road, they
most probably will. Unless, one changes
things in their life.
Removeable of people, places and things
that are associated with drinking or using
is a good start to not drinking or using today.
Admitting one has an addiction problem
and accepting it, is another good way
to help not drinking or using.
There are many good programs available
to all of us who what to learn to live a
healthy, happy, honest way of life for a
many one days at a time down the road.
Begin building a strong, solid foundation
in recovery one step at a time. One day
at a time incorporating all you you learn
in recovery today.
and......you never have to travel on this
journey alone. Ever..!!
23 yrs. sober strong for a many 1 days @ a time..!
So can you.
my head after reading your share. Then, I
read a few other shares and bingo, the word
control spoke volumes again to me.
Control drinking? There was none. Not for
this alcoholic.
August 11, 1990, I entered rehab via a
family intervention, and spent 28 day
being taught about addiction and it's
affects on my body, mind and soul.
I was given many helpful tools to take
with me to continue on my recovery
journey living sober a day at a time,
passing on that knowledge to others
struggling with addiction themselves.
I failed so many times to control my
drinking before I had to learn I couldn't.
Then I had to learn how to use those
vital tools to guide me each day to
avoid drinking, going crazy, or killing
myself mentally, emotionally, or physically.
I heard time and time again that if one
is planning to drink down the road, they
most probably will. Unless, one changes
things in their life.
Removeable of people, places and things
that are associated with drinking or using
is a good start to not drinking or using today.
Admitting one has an addiction problem
and accepting it, is another good way
to help not drinking or using.
There are many good programs available
to all of us who what to learn to live a
healthy, happy, honest way of life for a
many one days at a time down the road.
Begin building a strong, solid foundation
in recovery one step at a time. One day
at a time incorporating all you you learn
in recovery today.
and......you never have to travel on this
journey alone. Ever..!!
23 yrs. sober strong for a many 1 days @ a time..!
So can you.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Livonia, MI
Posts: 260
No...once you've crossed that line into alcoholism....that's it. There aren't "levels". Im not sure why drinking is SO important to you if you have had problems with it. Social drinkers never ever have to try and NOT DRINK ALONE. I live in Michigan. In a small town. Its NOTHING like New York. Not even close. But I bet in my active using days I could outdrink most New Yorkers. This can only end badly for you, I'm afraid. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around how you can describe the problems you've had with drinking and still be able to say that you "don't care if you get drunk once in a while". You still have to think of your health. Not just when and where you drink. Once you cross that line....you can NEVER go back. I'm sorry to tell you this....I can see how very important being (or appearing to be) a social drinker is to you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 16
Thanks a lot for the advices, that I will consider very seriously. The knowledge that some people willing to share in forums cannot be compared with a paid visit to a doctor.
So I am finishing soon the Living Sober Alcoholics Anonymous and provided that the first 11 days passed without tremors or panic attacks I am not intending at the moment to visit AA. After finishing Living Sober Alcoholics Anonymous I will lurk in the forums to broaden my knowledge.
My father is an alcoholic since his 20s and starts drinking before noon, in front of me as we work together. Of course I do not want to end up like him in any way, but does this play a role in my case? (that my father is an alcoholic and that he drinks in front of me in the morning).
So I am finishing soon the Living Sober Alcoholics Anonymous and provided that the first 11 days passed without tremors or panic attacks I am not intending at the moment to visit AA. After finishing Living Sober Alcoholics Anonymous I will lurk in the forums to broaden my knowledge.
My father is an alcoholic since his 20s and starts drinking before noon, in front of me as we work together. Of course I do not want to end up like him in any way, but does this play a role in my case? (that my father is an alcoholic and that he drinks in front of me in the morning).
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Livonia, MI
Posts: 260
It has nothing to do with time of day. Doesn't matter if its morning, noon, or night. Doesn't matter if its only weekends....or if its only at bars...or if its only with your wife...it has to do with what it does to you...how it affects your life....your health...your living situation. 
I wish you could see that This stuff kills. It doesn't care that you don't drink it until after 9pm. It doesn't care if you only drink at bars....it doesn't care if you only drink with your wife...it doesn't care if you drink it in a house....or if you drink it with a mouse....it just does not care.
I wish you could see that This stuff kills. It doesn't care that you don't drink it until after 9pm. It doesn't care if you only drink at bars....it doesn't care if you only drink with your wife...it doesn't care if you drink it in a house....or if you drink it with a mouse....it just does not care.
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